If You Get Married Would You Prefer To Use Traditional Wedding Vows Or Write Your Own Vows?
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My wife and I got married twice. The first one was in Cincinnati with her family and some of her old friends. It was in a Catholic church, so very traditional. Her parents and most of her relatives are devout Catholics.
Then we went on a three week honeymoon to New England in the fall.
A month after the first wedding, we had another one in Los Angeles with my family and a bunch of our friends. It was in a beautiful hall with glass windows and lovely scenery outside. A friend of my wife, who was a lay minister, performed the ceremony. We wrote our own vows. The whole thing was wonderful - top notch but very inexpensive because friends provided almost everything, including the venue, incredible food, and decorations. All I paid for was a really good saxophone player, an amazing cake from a Hawaiian bakery, and a stipend for the minister.
It all sounded like a great idea when we planned both weddings, and it worked out well. But I have to say that doing it twice was a lot of stressful work.
I joke with my wife that she made me marry her twice so that I'd never want to get married again. LOL It worked, because we've been happily married for almost 25 years and I have no desire to marry anyone else.
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I prefer to write my own. They are my own feelings and I want to tell the women I love in my own words how I feel about her. Coping others not only is not original but also could not tell authentically how I really feel. Every marriage is unique although I believe if I copy everything from magazines, internet or tv it's more like a production in serie making your marriage exactly the same as everybody else. Not going to say you should or shouldn't do, after all everybody decides to do what ever they want with their marriage. For myself I just want that to feel a bit more unique and come up with ideas of my own. Above all, marriage is just a party, it's fun and it's a great way to celebrate, share and demonstrate love. However, it's more than that you should care more about who you do it than what's the party going to be like. Marriage it's just one day, a decision that is going to be more or less permanent and it's not to be taken lightly. Never forget this is the person you will wake every day, you should love her more than everything.
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I prefer to write my own because I do not want to declare things I do not agree with for the sake of tradition but I will keep it similar to older versions or if I find one agree with, I will just use an old vow.
- 612 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
We used traditional vows because I'm petrified of public speaking and wanted to have to memorize as little as possible lol
What Girls & Guys Said
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We have written our own, but before those we'll have to go through the State mandated ones, that are to be made in presence of the public official for the marriage to be legal.
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Traditional vows! When I married my now-ex, we had an extremely traditional ceremony, but I personalized it by writing a song for tenor solo, piano, chorus, and oboe, and I sang it to my bride during the ceremony.
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Been there once, not planning on it again, however relationships are a joint decision and if she wanted a wedding then..
if had to it would be more Celtic orientated, with the red hair as well.
https://thenaturalweddingcompany.co.uk/blog/2018/02/celtic-wedding-inspiration/
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This is my view of the whole vows thing. It's subjective, I don't expect you to view it he same way and I don't want to offend you in eny other: Why would I do vows? I don't like traditions. No vows for me. I didn't go to graduation party I don't like shows. It's a waste of my time. And I was happy to not be there. Got my degrees, have a job. End of story, no more shit to do at uni. Now I don't want to go through reading a list in front of lots of people that already know I love the person I am marring. My love is expressed every day with my every day actions and words. I don't go through rituals. I accept I was born in this society but I have freedom to do my things my own way. Marriage is a contract. End of story. My love for that person is something I celebrate everyday.
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It would be a mixture of traditional with extra verses written to express my heart felt love for my one. She will know; that she is the only one, and she has permission to slap back any woman who tries to take me. When I commit to her; it will not be 50/50; it will be 100/100. Total commitment is the only way to stay together forever. So, yes it will be traditional at the beginning, with more added to make it special; from my heart to her heart!
- 559 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
I definitely do like the traditional vows. I always have. I feel like they're quite comprehensive, and they really describe what marriage is and should be. They're also beautiful and poetically written.
I don't mind adding extra stuff at the end to make it personal, though. I think that's perfectly fine. -
I say write our own but I know him so well hed probably rather traditional cause he's not good with his words.. he shows through his actions.. his words always back up his actions... he put soo much thought into things
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I would be lazy and stick with traditional. Because I really don't see the point with it. Divorce makes them completely pointless. If you can double back on every vow by just handing in a paper. They have no value in my eye. Which is why I most likely well never speak any vows.
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if I ever marry this way, with vows and all... I will never ever write down anything, I'll just speak from my heart and in the moment, I would want it to be the most genuine, and it would be truly and just for her.
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I would do traditional one because they're a much bigger promise than any personal one I could come up with would be. And for me it's very important that it is this big, as I feel like people underestimate the seriousness of a marriage these days
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I would, and I think the Lady, I would marry would want to share PERSONAL vows, not the traditional.
I would, probably, have a hard time saying them, with such an intense, emotional moment, holding her hands, and looking in her eyes.
I'm not likely marriage material, so it is kind of a moot point! -
Both my own written vow and the traditional one will give out the essence of feeling of duty and love towards my future husband. So, i will like to choose the writing my own in order to express my vows in my own style which will in the long run turn out to be sort of symbolic for our marriage.
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I prefer traditional vows. I sense that for more than half of the population, no vows mean anything. Everybody looks out for number 1, family destruction be damned. If I were to get anywhere near that point again and my partner did not want traditional vows, I am out.
I won't play around with these modern feminist types. I'd rather be alone. -
Elope, go strait to honeymoon, spend day on honeymoon in arcades and nerdy shops and all you can eat restraurants, spend night boinking like rabbits and binging anime when spent. I never understood the urge to have a party and invite a bunch of people for any reason, let alone for something private between 2 people.
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If ever not going to happen
I would prefer to express myself to the man I love 💕 -
I'd write my own. If there's anything I excel at it's expressing myself so why wouldn't I have choice words to say as I bind myself to the love of my life.
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While I don't plan on being married, I hate tradition so if I ever ended up saying "I do" it would be on my own words.
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I'd write my own. I only plan on ever getting married once so I want everything to be perfect. OMG I sound like a woman :O :P
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We used traditional. We chose from a list of 4 options and picked one that felt like us.
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I prefer self written but, people tend to cry more when they say their own so I don’t know - both ways are nice honestly.
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