What is the worst thing about being married?

[Haha456]

1. Sharing all the money you earn. If you won a thousand dollars. You must give 500 to your spouse.

2. It is your dream to go retire in sunny florida but your spouse doesn't want to leave new york. Kiss your dream of going to Florida goodbye

3. Having to pay for your spouses frivilous purchases. Seriously its bad enough having to pay for kids every need, now you need to spend on your spouse?

4. Negative comments on the things you buy. As a single woman, i can use my hard earned money buying whatever i want. But when you have a family, they will criticize you and call everything you buy as "useless". What is useless to you is meaningful to me

5. Your spouse wants a better career in another state so he wants you to move with him. Kiss your great job and parents goodbye. You might never see them again

6. Apologizing on behalf of your spouse. If your spouse acted the wrong way or broke airbnb property, you need to pay for the damage. Even when you have absolutely nothing to do with it.

[TenderFantasy]

'5. Your spouse wants a better career in another state so he wants you to move with him. Kiss your great job and parents goodbye. You might never see them again'

When you marry, you are SUPPOSED to leave your old family and join in with your new family (your husband and any new children whatever you make). That is the rules.

I agree with everything else yet people still get married becuase it's popular and they are all very traditional people!

There are good things to it as well like maybe having a steady sex partner and someone to go on cruises/vacation with, IF that man has money and or love you enough to go with you. Other than that, I agree with this.

[Haha456]

what if you are broke, spent 3 years saving money to go on a vacation. and you want to visit japan but your spouse doesn't. he wants to visits Brazil. you don't want to go to brazil. you might have to give up your savings to go to brazil along with your husband.

[AsaKyo]

I figured the whole idea of being married sucked lmao

[Jaximus-Lion]

Testing my patience just because. Asking for advice, ignoring it, calls her bestie and get the same exact advice, rub it in my face and do the same thing the week after. Taking all my time and skip gym, walks and so on because i am super cozy and she wants to snugle. Counting on me like i am the king of everything but yet never does what i tell her to do. Way too much drama series/movie. Gonna stop here, i already sound like a total ass 🤣

[SlothySlob]

The fuck is this? You a FtM or something?
Literally the talking points of every husband.

[Haha456]

things that apply for husbands will also apply for wives.

[Haha456]

you break your leg on the job, the wife will have to support you for years before you get back on your feet.

[SlothySlob]

Yeah, I hope that applies to most relationships. Maybe I surround myself with too much toxicity to even comprehend what's normal.

[AmandaYVR]

They all suck.

Suggestion: Next time, make it a poll. Any user can do that, and you'll get more engagement, and people can easily read the results.

[Anemone978]

It's not that bad considering that I don't like being single... LOL
I didn't like having to deal with his family/their judgement and him always telling me what to do
Giving me a $60 a month allowance... not every month only when he felt like it..
Cleaning up after him ALL the time
Dishes every single day, all day xD

[TrueConfection]

Sort of 2 and 5, but not necessarily where I live (I can live just Abbott anywhere). The hardest part of marriage is wanting different things that are equally important to each person. It could be where we live, the type of house, dog or no dog, choosing a vacation, etc.

[dustybiker]

Knowing that one day one of you will die. The fear of having to survive that if they should go first.

[SaoirseS]

I’ve been married nine months. I haven’t seen a downside yet.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

Dealing with the preconceived notions, and societal expectations of what marriage should be.

[Anonymous]

Been there done that , divorced now for several years, but I think the worst thing is not having any real freedom and always having to consider the other person before making decisions

[Haha456]

sums up the entirety of my question

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I just miss the sex and having someone to do things with

[Delphier232]

Thank God I never got married lol

[TenderFantasy]

If you love someone though, you kinda ARE happy to see them happy and are willing to make certain sacrifices for them, don't you think?

[TenderFantasy]

Oh and most people stay to help raise the children.

[Opinion Owner]

@Delphier232 my sister never did either and is 48 years old and no kids. At least I have 3 kids to be proud of so it wasn’t a total loss being married for years

[Opinion Owner]

@TenderFantasy it can be and was the first 10 years but after awhile you start to feel trapped and lose all your friends it seems when married

[Haha456]

@TenderFantasy

Not really. It just makes me feel like im losing my own self identity. You will only be happy in such a marriage if you dont have your own self identity.

[TenderFantasy]

Or you married young. My parents married at 23 and 24 and have been together thus far 46 years going on 47.

I think as you grow older you DO develop your own identity so to speak, and are probably more used to it and proud of it.

[Opinion Owner]

@TenderFantasy I married at 31 , divorced when I was 49

[Haha456]

@TenderFantasy

how do you develop your own self identity if you're constantly unable to make decisions on your own? or restricted from doing things that you want to do? Over time, this constant lack of freedom creates a blur between you and your spouse. After many years, you won't know how to make a decision without your spouse. You probably won't even be entirely sure what makes you happy but you know what makes your spouse happy. When there isn't a separation between you and your spouse , you lose your sense of self.

[LazerBean]

Not a single one of those is a problem if you pick a spouse with the same values as you.

[Haha456]

complete BS. where are you gonna find a spouse that perfect?

[LazerBean]

There's plenty of men who would have no problem just marrying you for sex and never have to give you any money. If that's what you want, just advertise it. And for everyone else who doesn't care, its not a problem anyway.

[Haha456]

you're never gonna find someone who wants the exact same things as you 100% in life.

[Haha456]

marriage is all about compromising or giving up your freedom to make individual choices so you can live a life with your spouse.

[LazerBean]

Wow that sounds like a pain in the ass. I wouldn't get married if that were true.

[Delphier232]

You know, most people don't truly realize that until 4-5 years after getting married.
It only sinks in when your wife/husband behaviors change, when their values change, etc..

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

My point is marriage is all about compromise. While you gain a lot from marriage, you also lose a lot.

[TenderFantasy]

@Delphier232 Most people are the same at their core. They rotten lol. I know my ex fiance was like that. Now that I think about it, it's good we never got on with the marriage. Maybe THAT is why his first wife left him despite already being married three going on four years and they had a new baby. It was sad but I fell for a used man with baggage but when I tried to make it work, his demons showed up so now I understand his first wife more and the reasons she left!

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

There was a story about a husband and wife deeply in love with each other. The brother of the husband raped the babysitter for their children. The wife reacted to the victim with utmost sympathy and despised her brother in law. Her husband said that even though his brother did something wrong and was sent to prison. He wanted to still protect his brother and help him get back on his feet after getting out of prison. He said "thats my little brother after all. Someone i love. I can't let him go down in flames because of that".

At the end , the wife had to give in to her husbands decision to help a rapist. As you can see when you're married, you make decisions as a couple rather than individually

[Haha456]

@TenderFantasy

I've seen rotten sadistic men or guys with mental issues who have wives or gfs that love them dearly. It has more to do with the fact that some women are simply better at tolerating bullshit than others

My mother married a bad tempered, verbally abusive man who terrorized his family on a daily basis. He made my childhood a living hell. Not only that, he was also known to be a mean bully. Almost 35 years later, my mom is still HAPPILY married to him

[TenderFantasy]

Here's another sad and scary example. I took my ex-fiance at the time (soon to be husband) to the E. R. because he was a drugg addict and homeless and because of all his drug use, he thought he had testicular cancer as he felt a lump down there. It wasn't even an emergency. He could have gone to his doctors for it under Medi-Cal, but no he INSISTED I take him to the E. R. He even had a slight tantrum over it (like usual in the past when he didn't get his way a lot of times). There I saw someone barfing (I think a Middle aged Caucasian lady) and it traumatized me...

Whatever decision a husband makes, at times , even if it's STUPID, I thought I had to go a long with it! Same when my mom got sick, my dad had to accompany her to doctor's appointments and even yeah, the E. R.

[Haha456]

@TenderFantasy

your ex fiancé was a drug addict and homeless? that explains a lot.

Kinda shocks me how some women lower their standards so drastic. My own mother's standards were also ridiculously low.

I honestly believe some women aren't single simply because they have low standards.

I've been chronically single , mainly due to my high standards.

[TenderFantasy]

Yeah I learned the hard way not to be THAT desparate. You don't gotta rub it in lol. Oh well, still here. Still learning. I think my parent's 'perfect' marriage didn't really help things in terms of rose colored glasses with relationships.

And that's sad about your mom and dad. My dad wasn't (and isn't) that bad. If anything, he was just a cheapskate and tended to be a naysayer with a lot of things, but he was not a bully. Maybe at times, maybe due to him getting old, acted a little immature but nothing THAT bad.

[Haha456]

@TenderFantasy

i would not have lasted 1 week dating a man like my father. my mother lasted 35 years. I've seen many other low quality men who have wives / gfs fawning over them. It ultimately has nothing to do with how bad the guy is. It entirely has to do with how well the lady can tolerate his BS

[LazerBean]

TenderFantasy is correct, people do not change at their core.

[Delphier232]

@Haha456

Nonono, bad bad girl.

You are single because those high standards men don't like you back... not because of your high standards alone. You gotta be on their level for them to like you back...

Hope this helps

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

I dont have a hard time getting guys to fall for me.

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

Over my lifetime I've had so many men fall for me.

[Delphier232]

@TenderFantasy
@LazerBean

Also both of y'all are wrong. That's actually a misconception. here's some motherly wisdom for you two.

People do change at their core.

It's just when you change at your core, you'll never truly know you did. Only others around you will see the change.
But when people do change, its just never for the better. And once it changes, you can never unchange it.

Trust me, I've seen it happened all the time. In marriages, all the time, in fact a lot of divorce that happen are because of somebody behavior in the marriage changes. People have full trust in their husband/wives for the first part of their marriages till one day their spouse lies about something important and their happy little marriage is never the same again. Its then the marriage is only held up by denial.

Hope that help both y'all 💋

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

[You gotta be on their level for them to like you back...]

Falling in love has nothing to do with levels, money or looks. It has to do with

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

You gotta be on their level for them to like you back...]

Falling in love has nothing to do with levels, money or looks. It has to do with chemistry

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

What you're saying is only partially the truth. Its true people change without knowing it but i can tell you that the larger percentage of people certainly never change throughout their lives. If you married an asshole, he will likely always be an asshole. People typically never change in life.

[Delphier232]

@Haha456

That's because those are low value men. We all gets those type of men falling for us. Kinda like every guy who take care of his appearance gets girls.

Those men who fall for women too easily aren't high value.

I'm talking about high value men or men with high standards as you put it.

A hard pill to swallow but its true. Appearance only gets the foot in the door. The rest is personality.

Hope this helps you 👍

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

I think you're rather naive when it comes to dating. Falling in love has nothing to do with high value or low value. Just because a man rejects you, it doesn't mean you are undesirable or low value. It just means you're just not necessarily his type. Yoi can't control who you fall for. We all fall for different personality traits when it comes to love. When you have gone on 30 dates and you have 23 guys going crazy for you, you just know you are high value. It doesn't matter if those othet 7 guys rejected you

[Delphier232]

Falling in love have everything to do with level, money and looks. Where do you think the Chemistry is coming from...

Be honest with yourself girl. Not just believing truth partially.

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

Chemistry has nothing to do with looks or money or status. If you think chemistry has to do with money looks or status, it basically means you dont have a single clue about what love is

[Delphier232]

Learn to attract high value men... not just the low value.

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

I've been rejected by guys. But I've had a way bigger number of guys who have went crazy for me. Im not insecure about myself. I know im amazing. Theyve told me im amazing. But just because you dont fit into 1 or 2 guys type , it doesn't mean you're undesirable. We all are attracted to different traits.

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

A low value man to you , may very well be a high value man to someone else.

[Delphier232]

Learn to be honest with yourself. Where do you think the "feeling" comes from? It comes from what I mentioned.

Being honest with yourself is a part of growing up girl. Not this denial you have.

[Delphier232]

"A low value man to you , may very well be a high value man to someone else."

That response is what low value women...

[Delphier232]

That response is what low value women say

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

I think its time for you to grow up. Ok? Having high standards doesn't necessarily mean im looking for the hottest or richest guy on earth. It just means the qualities that im seeking are rare.

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

And the fact that you believe falling in love has to do with money status or looks shows how clueless you are when it comes to dating. You probably never had a man in your life

[Delphier232]

We all have qualities in men that we look for. But those qualities doesn't mean those are high value qualities.

And even so, those rare qualities can also be found in high value men. Like I said, not a lot of women can get those high value men.

[Delphier232]

More as, I'm honest with myself enough to admit to myself that money, status and looks plays a part in it.

You are not honest with yourself...

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

I think its quite immature of you to accuse me of not being honest with myself if you don't even know the whole story of what I consider as "high quality"

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

what i consider to be high quality :

- funny spontaneous witty, humorous. Not corny jokes or fart jokes or retarded jokes.
- not a single parent
- there must be physical attraction
- must have a decent job, not a lazy drug addict.
- must be intelligent
- must be willing to admit to his own mistakes
- must be trustworthy and honest, not a smooth talker
- must be mature
- must have good moral values like me.

this is what i consider to be a high quality man. A high quality man is not the richest or hottest guy on earth. It is someone who is trustworthy and loyal.

[Delphier232]

Thats what all of us wants in guys... A high value man has all of those qualities you mentioned AND also be rich and hot... that's high value.

Not a lot of women can attract high value men.

And?

[LazerBean]

Not the midlife woman who still dresses like a teen porn star trying to give out "motherly wisdom" 😭 I think I'll stick to the advice from my actual mothers who have all their children by the same men who have been married to them for decades.

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

nobody cares about how hot or rich you are if you are gonna be a smooth talker , untrustworthy, disloyal. i won't be happy being with man like that

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

these standards might not seem "high" to you. but i have never ever in my life met a guy who fit all the traits i listed above.

[Haha456]

@LazerBean

she's just an immature little brat in an old womans body , pretending to be a wise old sage

[Delphier232]

All of what you said proved to my point girl omg.🤦🏻‍♀️

I've seen rich high value men with all the traits you listed and more. You never seen those guys with those traits you mentioned because they are not attracted to you. They won't show themselves to you. You can only attract low value men.

And both of you getting angry... smh. You both can't attract high value men.

And then you try to play semantics with what high value mean. Bad bad girl.

Bye. 💋

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

sweetie, you're just here to cause trouble. you're not here for any real discussion about anything.

like i said, you're just a little brat in an old woman's body

[Haha456]

@Delphier232

i don't obsess over rich men like you do. so quit talking about "rich man this " or "rich man that"

[Apple1996]

None of these would bother me besides 6

[Delphier232]

Not to mention alimony

[Jmmmfi4]

You're a girl it's your role to be a wife

[Haha456]

wife responsibilities are same as husbands. if you break your leg and can't work, your wife will be supporting you for years until you can get back on your feet. same thing

[Jmmmfi4]

No... wife is to cook and clean and care for anything husband needs

[Haha456]

she can't do that if the husband can't afford to support her and the kids.

[KerriH]

You are no longer independent

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's any of those, really.

[Anonymous]

Turning into a simp, lol.