I'm the one to insist on a pre-nup, anything we each had before... we each get after (if things don't work out.)
Things given to us by each others family is ours, so if my family gives us something, it would be mine, if his gives us something, it would be his.
Things we buy together, would be what might get tricky on how to split it.
I am aware of it and I personally think the system is too biased against men, I had a cousin commit suicide after his wife cheated on him and he left her, then he was legally required to pay child support (one of his kids wasn't even his) and have all of his kids be on his insurance policy.
His take home 'net' pay was about $1500 every two weeks, but his gross was $2500. After insurance, flex spending, 401k, and other things taken right out of his paycheck.
They figured child support out based on his gross of $5000 a month and making him pay around $1300 a month, that left him $1700 a month to live on, and his rent was considered cheap at $1200 a month.
He couldn't afford gas for visitation, let alone utilities or food. He finally gave up as he was going to be evicted and shot himself, left a note saying he simply couldn't be homeless as that was his greatest fear.
His poor kids, that are his... will no longer have him in their life. To this day, his daughters are messed up, they were crying big time at the funeral... wanting their daddy back.
At the very least they shouldn't put someone into being homeless... as no one will collect any child support/alimony from a homeless person.
The laws need to be changed to go off net income, cause it isn't like someone actually gets to spend the difference between gross and net, you know those taxes taken out, health insurance and the rest.
Haven’t heard except on gag.
what is there to be afraid of? Just work things out and start over.
I lost everything. He changed all the passwords to our join accounts. He is a tech geek. Or I left everything, didn’t take anything except some clothes. I get no child support, no alimony. He makes double than me. I was at the bottom of the bottom.. then I took a year and decided to bring myself back to who I need to be for the success of our kids and my future…
I am not afraid and married again!
Learn from it then become better.
Good to see at least some chicks are aware of it.
The ones that are not though... damn... you can't see that it's literally a setup? 50% end in divorce and 75% is initiated by the woman... Now look at the ones that stay together... how many are happy on the man's side and how many are just trapped in a situationshit? The courts and the system are simply stacked against a man so high that you could literally destroy his life and take away his wealth... how you not at least acknowledge that pitfall is there for a man?
Self-fulfilling prophecy…
One can’t take 💩 with you. Live in fear and don’t risk because of the “what if (s)” in life is a terrible way to live. Excuse making…enough with the whining blame game on someone else when it’s just a guy who is without backbone to handle life adversity.-This type ought to be worried as they have Divorced stamped on the forehead. One of this mentality should stay in their cave and swipe left/right.
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Oh, this is a topic that always makes me smile when I read about it. Trust me, more and more females are learning this. Right now my girlfriend has a client who is a very well-off female. She is in her 30s and makes almost $300,000 a year. Her soon to be Ex makes more like $75,000 a year. He caught her cheating I think back in November. He filed for divorce in Virginia and she hired my girlfriend. He is about to clean her clock because in Virginia adultery is grounds for divorce and is actually considered a crime here, § 18.2-365. Further, he has already got many people willing to go to court and testify about her cruelty to him. My girlfriend is doing her best to get him to be reasonable, but his attorney has told her several times he is going to hurt her as much as the law allows. So, as more and more females get into the professions and in some situations out earn their husbands what men have been going through for the past 100+ years will be visited on them. Even living in a state like California won't save her. The only thing I regret is being in my middle 60s. Most likely I won't be alive to see all the screaming that will result. I am also smiling from ear to ear, one of the largest shiteating grins you will ever see as I write this!
I have a friend who was not married and he rented his 2 spare bedrooms out to two guys that got divorced and the courts left them pretty much destitute. These guys both had good jobs and made decent money but they had to support the ex wife and kids and they got to live on the pittance that was left.
Very true. But when I was getting married it was important to me that the guy I commit myself for my entire life and bare his children can support us and be faithful to me. I didn't want an abusive controlling nut job or a guy that was going to abandon me with the kids. I don't want to end up single with three kids and an endless conga line of would be step dads each worse than the last. I'm old school that way when it comes to marraige
Maybe if western men could contribute more than their pocketbook there'd be less issues.
I use an example.
A friend used Match for 2 months. She is attractive naturally but more very intelligent, career successful and well respected by peers & her patients.
The number of men who approached her over OBVIOUSLY staged photos that were NOT revealing was comical. As in at one point almost every day she had 30+ likes.
Out of those men NONE of them were interesting to her. As she put it most were shallow with overinflated egos oftentimes because of their careers - some even told her their annual income - but didn't contribute ANYTHING in conversation, etc that would interest a respectable or decent woman. Gold diggers sure because such women wouldn't care for the man, his wallet matters.
What was most comical is 89% of these men on match were divorced. So they obviously didn't learn anything from the previous marriage and their own personality flaws
People like this exhaust me. You spend so much time thinking "what if I lose everything" and not enough time working on your actual relationship so you never have to even cross this hypothetical bridge. If you're crippled by fear and it's ruining your life to think of the what-ifs...don't get married. Simple. If all you think is women are out to get you and take you for all you have...don't...get...married. No one is forcing you to and if someone is trying, probably don't do it because you'll regret it.
Some are. Some, along with a lot of men, fall into the game of trying to shame us. But really, how stupid would I have to be to risk what I earn and inherited (attorneys are great at getting separate property declared as donated to marital property) on the hope that a lady will not exercise that very common female prerogative and "change her mind?"
Correct. Including losing access to our children. I don't want to hear any crap about "that doesn't happen" because it does, or "I would never do that" because the truth is that if there is money in it for you (and there is), you WOULD.
No marriage = no divorce.
Women sour easily and without commitment when one has outlived its usefulness it can be replaced with a new model. And they know this so they endeavor to not go bad on you. Lol.
Non married gives women an incentive to be a good woman. Marriage gives women an incentive to be bad.
I'm aware. I think lots of it is pretty stupid though.
u that's not me...
do not bundle me up with that bunch of insecure guys that know very much nothing about true love and a better life and certainly not about themselves... lol
Ladies simply don't care. This is why women have such getting commitment out of guys. Half simply don't have enough sense to pick commital guys. And the other half (both halves really) attitude is "guy risk nothing" women believe they take all the risks IRONICALLY.
Bro, women don't give a fuck. Women think they are entitled to everything he has.
Don’t you think we feel the same way? I am recently divorced. I got half. MY half because that’s what a marriage is.
Most either know and don’t care, or they’re the ones ruining a guys life simply because she can
I’ve heard this many times. I’ve never been married myself and I never will because I don’t want my partner to think that way about me. Hell, I won’t even step foot into a relationship because I know what my partner’s thoughts about me is going to be.
Of coursem "Not All Women Are Like That". I dare say most women are not like that. But given Family Law as it has developed, all women *can be* like that.
And *that* is the problem.
Yes we know it. I wouldn't take everything from any guy though unless you did something to really piss me off.
Thank God in my religion the divorce law does not discriminate in favor of one side.
Paranoia. First of, you have to own something to lose it. Secondly, assets obtained before marriage will not being shared in case of divorce.
And woman are scared of being knocked up and left divorced with bundles. Everyone has something to lose.
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