If everything is so perfect, why am I even cheating on her?

[Anonymous]

Please do not judge me or give me moral speeches..
i am married to a beautiful wife and have two children from her.. We married in a young age and are very comptabile , married for 7 years now..
I have a business in different city where i got to know a beautiful girl. First just friends, then affairs and we are having a secret relationship over 2 years.. Sometime its good sometimes its bad.
Bad because we dont get to see each other often because i am just 2-3 days in that city..
Good: she is quite mature, same sense of humour etc..

I am quite emotional person, eventhough i felt guilty and wanted to end of the relationship but somehow i couldnt. Although i lied to her as well that i will get seperated from my wife

On other hand when i am home, i feel happy, i dont have fights discussions and the relationship with my wife is actually gone so better in past 2 years..

I am so stuck between these two women.. I love my wife, children, i provide for my children, take care of all their needs and same as my wife as i am financing her studies, bough her nice house, we have great converstaion and even phsical its better than other girl..
We have almost everything in common, we have great adventures, if you see us from outside we might even look dream couple and a lot of people in our family look upto us. We even talked about having another child

i never had physical relation with any other woman apart from my wife and ofc now the other girl.. so i am not like a playboy who f*cks around

Now i just found out that the other girl might has an affair because she doesn't feel safe with me anymore and is thinking me playing around withh her ( which might be even true i want her but i can't.. its like a puzzle if i wasn't married she would be the first girl i wouldve married stil i can't let her go somehow.. We have good sense of humour, and good relation like we have fun when we see each other,, its just get ugly when we talk about future, she really wants me to marry her etc.

[XHopelessRomanticX]

*Maury Povich voice* You say you love your wife. Our lie detector test determined that was a lie.

Here's the proof; "its like a puzzle if i wasn't married she would be the first girl i wouldve married stil i can't let her go somehow.."

Come on, man, be honest. You don't even respect your wife. Most people who cheat do so because they do not respect their partners. You don't value the sanctity of your marriage. Many people who cheat do not value monogamy. Your wedding vows must not have meant anything to you.

"Although i lied to her as well that i will get seperated from my wife"

You're also a liar.

"i provide for my children, take care of all their needs and same as my wife as i am financing her studies, bough her nice house, we have great converstaion"

There is no sympathy to be gained here. Providing for your family and taking care of their needs is your job. That's part of being a man. But even doing those things is not justification for cheating.

"Now i just found out that the other girl might has an affair because she doesn't feel safe with me anymore"

Good. She still has somewhat of a moral compass.

Face it. Everything is not perfect. Stop lying to yourself. You are failing as a husband, as a father, and above all, as a man.

[CarolinaJones]

It appears you have grown distant from your family including your children and wife. I would recommend to rekindle your relatioship with your wife especially since you've been together for a long time. If you divorce, imagine how impacted your kids might be, they would perhaps blame themselves. Aside from that, who knows if the "girl" is seeing someone else while you're gone.

[Anonymous]

Let me offer some insights and observations for you that may be helpful.

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, torn between two women that you care about. It's important to remember that cheating can have serious consequences for all parties involved, and can cause emotional pain and damage to relationships.

It's also important to consider the impact that your actions may have on your wife and children. Infidelity can be a major breach of trust and can cause significant emotional harm, not only to your spouse but also to your children who might be affected by the potential fallout from the situation.

It's understandable to feel conflicted and unsure about what to do, but it's important to take responsibility for your actions and make a decision that is true to your values and respects the feelings of everyone involved.

It might be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor to help you work through your feelings and make a decision that is best for you and your family. They can help you explore your motivations and emotions, and develop strategies for managing your relationships in a healthy and respectful way.

[Gingerbread_GB]

You want too much. It's clear your marriage is not perfect. Nobody's marriage is. I suspect it's because of your young children at home, you've grown distant from your wife. If you want to fix it, that's where you start, get more alone time with your wife, rekindle, and let the other girl go ASAP.

The other girl is absolutely right in not feeling safe around you. She's not having an affair by seeing other men, she owe you nothing. I hope one day she can see through your lies and leave.

[Nikki1989]

If everything was perfect, you wouldn't be cheating.

[BrookeS]

@Nikki1989 Agreed

[boobliker]

because you are stupid!!!, and she is not emptying your ball before she lets you go out

[LazerBean]

Because shit cannot help to act like shit.

[BrookeS]

100% he is shit

[Iron_Man]

Shame on you thou shall not commit adultery