How do you feel about women proposing marriage to men?

[Still-alive]

You approve? girls would you do this with the right guy?

I approve. if women want to propose to their partners they should be able to do so with no judgement

I'm a woman and i would propose to the right guy (or girl)

I don't approve. men should be the only ones proposing marriage

I just don't care who does it or not.

[blueonblack22]

Funny how a higher percentage of women then men said “I don't approve. men should be the only ones proposing marriage”

The thing is when men propose to women it’s not only a romantic gut check but it’s a “man up” gut check. It’s a “man up and you she better like the ring”. It’s a “man up and you better give her a nice wedding”. It’s a “man up because you now have to be nice to her family whether you like them or not”. And it’s still “man up because now you are expected to support your wife financially and she divorces you she keeps 50% of your assets.” Last but not least it’s often a “man up and do you really want this woman to be the mother of your children”

Do those above thoughts go through a woman’s head when she proposes to man? Maybe some of them (especially about family and kids). However what if she makes a lot less money then he does? Even if she makes the same or more from I’ve seen many men feel like bitches for accepting alimony after divorces. But vice versa is almost a sure thing for a woman to collect.

I don’t totally know I feel about women proposing. Women usually verbally bring up wanting to get married to boyfriends they have strong feelings for but outright proposing to guys I have mixed feelings for. I guess it’s a good thing because can now know how much anticipation and fear of rejection can be like for a proposal. For most men it’s the most exhilarating yet terrifying moment in their romantic lives. If women want more “equality” in their lives then they should see how that feels

Anyway I had an opportunity to get married 2 years ago for mutually beneficial economic reasons. She brought up the idea but I wasn’t in love with the her. She was a good friend (sometimes more) and I respected her but I after months of deep consideration I turned it down. It was very difficult decision. But there were just way to many risks and pitfalls. She stopped talking to me after that. Although she said we could still be friends if I said no I knew that wouldn’t ever happen.

But what if she actually proposed to me? Just saying that would of been 10x worse turning her down. So mixed feelings about women proposing.

[Constatine]

It is an act of love... If you want to Mary the one you love... You should let them know.

It does matter of you are the boy or the girl. This should never be only a guy thing or girl thing. As a matter of fact how whould 2 lovely ladies ask each other... There is no man..

So there... It is BS the if guys say they will not allow / accept this..

It happen to be a fact that my lady asked me. I loved it... 😄 And to be honest she did it very romantic..

[petitedollbabee]

I’m fine with it. I’ve never viewed proposals as a gender specific thing, I don’t believe that it’s solely up to men to propose. To me it’s no different than asking someone out on a date, women can do that too.

[Rei13]

I would prefer to get proposed to personally but for other people I can care less who does it. My one friend proposed to her husband and they’ve been happily married for a few years now

[catarecute]

they do it when they are feeling their biological clock ticking and their selfish boyfriend is taking to long to propose. its embarrassing for him but that's his own fault.

[Still-alive]

Thats the ONLY time they do it huh? not just because they love their partner and do want to spend their lives with them?

[Sasha0426]

@catarecute Who told you that?

[catarecute]

@Sasha0426 maybe i am wrong i dont think i would ask a guy for marriage. i would feel to humiliated if they refused. and i think its the guys place to do it. to be honest i am single so marriage isn't on the list of things. i am not sure i would want to get married. i think i just want a kid. then the guy can do his own thing after that. i want a kid but i dont want the husband. men have hurt me too much i feel like more hurt from them could kill me and i dont want my children to be orphaned.

[Sasha0426]

You definitely need therapy before having children. Once you have kids, you’re going to put that fear into them. And, if you have sons, who knows how you’ll treat them.

[catarecute]

@Sasha0426 no i wouldn't that my personal experience but i won't raise my children to be naive either. there are terrible men out there and that is a fact and if i have a daughter i won't raise her to think the world is made for disney princess waiting for perfect prince charming. i will get them to watch movies like the girl on the train as soon as they are old enough to show them what some men are trully like.

[Sasha0426]

Ok, what about your sons? What are you going to teach them about women?

[catarecute]

@Sasha0426 to respect women and treat them as they would like their sisters, mother and daughters to be treated.

[Sasha0426]

Really? Is that all? Just to treat them well and not watch out for women who want to harm them?

[Sasha0426]

How about teach your kids about all humans? Teach them to watch out for those who want to use them and harm them in anyway. Men and women alike.

[catarecute]

@Sasha0426 yea that as well you are right there are some awful women out there too.

[Sasha0426]

Also, teach your daughters to be decent as well.

[catarecute]

@Sasha0426 ok thank you yes i will. i know its hard for men as well cuz women can be a bitch. but they reject good women so often. i was rejected so many times by men when i had nothing but kindness to offer. all that because i didn't go to the gym so often. now i dont date anymore so i dont have that problem.

[Slingblade1126]

Do you think that's fair to your child? Deciding for them not to have a father in their lives? I know what it's like and my mother and her brothers know what it's like. It is an empty and lonely feeling. I'm not here to bash you, it's obvious you have baggage but leaving a child fatherless to fulfill you needs is really selfish.

[catarecute]

@Slingblade1126 who are you to lecture me seriously i dont even know you. see why i dont want to date. i won't force anyone to not see their child i am not that kind of person they can be in their child life as much aas they want just not in mine. i have the right not to have a man in my life.

[Slingblade1126]

And another thing, if the father of your child is in their life, you won't have a choice, he'll also be in your life.

[catarecute]

@Slingblade1126 when i see comment like that its not making me want to change my perspective.

[bolverk]

Personally I don't have a problem with it, but the vast majority of women will not do it It for there is one very simple reason why women do not propose to men in general, its because there is no way that that a women want to put herself in a position to be rejected in public, Logarithmically so if the woman is a Feminist, they could not contemplate being rejected in anything (let alone marriage) by a man.

[LazerBean]

I wouldn't do it, and my husband would not have appreciated much either. Both of us are from traditional families, so it wouldn't have gone over very well.

But I don't really care if other women do it.

[sheikalana]

I'm not in a place to approve or disapprove anything but things feels really weird to me.

[Still-alive]

Why weird?

[DaySpring]

It feels weird because you've been conditioned to think it's wrong and only see it one way. There is no logic behind what you are feeling.

[sheikalana]

The thought of a woman bending her knee and propose to a man seems humiliating to me.

[Still-alive]

Why humiliating? and couldn't that same feeling be applied to a man doing that too?

[sheikalana]

I cannot speak from a man's point a view or know what they feel when they do it. I can only speak from a woman's point of view and my opinion is that it seems desperate. And the few times I've seen women proposing to men they looked visibly uncomfortable in doing it.

[Still-alive]

Because its not common sight to see. but give it enough time and the more girls do this the more normalized it'll seem and feel.

[sheikalana]

Let's wait and see. I'm not against it I'm just giving my opinion. Have a lovely day.

[TacosRAwesome]

Honestly I've done it once to make an ex happy. It's not for me. Hated myself for a while after.

[Still-alive]

Why?

[TacosRAwesome]

It just made me feel undesired and unattractive if I'm being honest. Like I have to beg for a man to love me.

[Still-alive]

Wouldn't you consider maybe a guy feels the same way proposing to a woman?

[TacosRAwesome]

Then we are not right for each other.

[Still-alive]

Yeah a guy might feel that way too if you aren’t serious about marriage either

[Jazzy54]

To each her own, but I’ll be damned if I ever proposed to a man. TF? 😅

[Still-alive]

Why?

[Jazzy54]

If a man doesn’t make it known that he wants to marry me, I’m not going do it. It’s just not right.

[Still-alive]

He could say the same for you y’know. Hows a guy knkw you’re serious about it too?

[thatshydork]

Idrc tbh. Who cares who proposes as long as the couple is happy and the relationship isn’t toxic?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Not my thing.

[Still-alive]

You’re a traditionalist?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What does a traditionalist mean?

There’s only one reason, I’d get on my knees in front of a man, and it’s not for asking him to marry me.

[Still-alive]

It means you prefer things the traditional way like the man proposing to you instead of the other way around.

[Still-alive]

This definition is good for 'traditionalist'

: a person who believes that older ways of doing or thinking about things are better than newer ways : a person who follows a particular and established tradition.

www.britannica.com/dictionary/traditionalist

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t care to be very honest, I am just not going to stand on my knees in front of a man and wait for him with anticipation to say YES.

In my previous relationship, my ex told me he was dating me to get married,

Then at some point I told him, “Let’s get married.”

After which he proposed me.

[Still-alive]

"Then at some point I told him, “Let’s get married.” "

lol that sounds like a proposal to me. its doesn't have to be anyone getting on someones knees to do it. someone proposes marriage to the other and the other accepts or declines.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I haven’t asked him though. I knew for a fact he wanted to marry me, because he had talked about it many times and I was the one taking it slow.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I wasn’t expecting him saying yes or no. That’s why I said “Let’s…” , because there was only one answer “Let’s do it.”

[Still-alive]

but wait you just said you told him... *scratches head*

its ok dont worry lol.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I did tell him.

Because in the past everytime he was starting to talk about marriage, I was changing the topic. He was freaked out about the thought of it.

At some point I guessed I too, wanted to marry him.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Not he… I was freaked out about the thought of it… I type too fast.

So he wanted marriage and I was freaked out.

[Still-alive]

I dunno that still sounds like you proposed to him there but ill not push any further. i don't know the full dynamics of your relationship there to say lol.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He even wanted to take on my last name 😎

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He wanted a child with me and told me to get married and have a family together,

I told him it was too early and to wait till we were a but more settled.

I was scared it was too early.

He was since then talking about marriage very often.

At some point I told him, “Let’s do it. Let’s get married.”

After which he proposed me haha

That’s the full dynamic if you are curious 🤪

[Still-alive]

ok ill say he proposed marriage but you didn't give him a full answer until you were ready. :P

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes… And then I said “Let’s get married” after which he officially proposed.

I feel like it was fairly mutual proposal. And I don’t think I am a traditionalist or non-traditionalist.

[Still-alive]

But if you got into another relationship and he felt like the right guy for you you'd rather he proposed to you? you would never propose to him despite how you feel?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not proposing anyone.

[Still-alive]

Can i ask why?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I just don’t feel like it.

[Still-alive]

ok. i mean if someone in the relationship feels that strongly i don't see why the girl shouldn't propose. there's nothing weak or un-womanly about it. you can still be a woman and still propose.

But if you just don't want to. fair enough.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think you , you forget we are from totally different cultures.

In my country I am not considered to be traditional. But maybe somewhere else I am considered to be traditional.

I agree that women can propose and offer marriage but I don’t feel comfortable proposing anyone, I’d prefer to know right from the beginning if he wants marriage or not someday though. So I won’t waste my time.

[Still-alive]

Know i am taking your different culture into account. Im still just not sure why you prefer not proposing but you do not have to tell me. Im just curious is all.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t think I am the right person to answer you, even the thought of a relationship makes me want to run sometimes. The thought of marriage freaks me out sometimes too.

So… I am not in a position to answer now. When I was in a relationship I was pretty assertive about my wishes and was open to offer him the opinion when I felt ready for it.

[Still-alive]

You aren’t alone, the thought of marriage can be pretty frightening to me too. Im still unsure i want it myself. But maybe with the right person…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think I states it clearly, I don’t judge anyone doing it, I just don’t feel like doing it.

And I don’t think the question “why” is valid when we are talking about how something makes you FEEL. It just makes you feel that way and that’s it

If I shyt doen my feelings, I think it’s totally fine for any women to do that.

I states it’s not my thing though or I can’t picture myself doing it. Judging my personality. What I would do hypothetically is not a right question. Because no one knows.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s like asking me what would I do If I was a cat. I am not a cat and I don’t know. If I ever turn into a cat, I’ll tell you then haha

Sorry for typos I feel sleepy

And I don’t like talking on this topic right now, for some reason it awakens very bad feelings and reminds me of my failed engagement. So, I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

[Still-alive]

Aww im sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just curious. Ill not press on this further. *Hugs*

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you. I don’t wish to discuss this topic again. Have fun

[menina]

I approve it. I think there's nothing wrong with it if they're sure of what they're doing.

But it's something I wouldn't do.

[Guardian45]

I think you would, if you met the right person

[menina]

@Guardian45 No, I can't really see myself doing that.

[CallmeTheKnight]

The relationship is over. I cannot honor such a woman

[Still-alive]

Why not? What’s wrong with women doing this?

[Jemini_Crocket]

Feels and looks wrong. I'm quite traditional in this and I need a man who is the same.

[WhereIsMyMind]

I don't think I would do it, but I don't believe there is anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man. I wouldn't judge

[clampfan101]

Be it proposing marriage or simply asking someone out, women have just as much a right to be the one to do it if they want.
If she wants it to be the man that asks that’s fine too, but she shouldn’t feel forced to wait for him to do it.

[Belgie]

They can. They just won't. Women are generally too fearful to do this.

[abbyjgriffin98]

If that couple is okay with it, it's fine. But I am more traditional.

[Miristheiss]

No way.

Would not have flown in my relationships.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, I approve of this it's awesome

[Blueeyes81]

Don't care. If a woman feels the desire to propose, more power to her. If she wants the man to propose, more power to her.

[Unit1]

Yay. Demolish those gender roles. That's Equality 😄

[Guardian45]

I think its brilliant! And very romantic and flattering!