What do u think about open marriage?

[cherriibly]

What do u think about open marriage?

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+1 y

Open relationship is not for me, I prefer to be with only one person

[dynamicyandere]

It can only work for those who can truly compartmentalize sex apart from love.



I personally believe that sex is most fulfilling when done with someone you love.


And, I believe that good sex can really strengthen the bond of love between two people.


They’re supposed to go together. Love and sex. Sex and love.


But, some people can truly separate them completely, and if they want to do that, that’s their choice.


But, philosophically, I personally believe that if someone is going to people outside of their relationship to have their sexual needs fulfilled, it just highlights their incompatibility.


Because if they are truly compatible, whoever they are with should be able to satisfy both their emotional and sexual needs.


Now, if they aren’t doing sexual activities together, in a group (swinging), and they are literally just having sex with people on their own, to me, it defeats the purpose of being in a relationship.


Because what truly is the difference between that and friends with benefits?


Or, if they aren’t even sleeping together, what’s the difference between that and just being friends?


An open marriage is not too different from just 2 roommates who live together, who may or may not be friends with benefits.


If one can’t commit to exclusivity, why even bother?


In way, it just feels like someone being married to someone who doesn’t satisfy them, but they stay because they just don’t want to die alone.

[dynamicyandere]

Marriage should be a term that’s reserved for something stronger than a mere friendship or domestic partnership. Others are free to disagree though. This is just my perspective/philosophy on it all.

[wolfcat87]

I agree with the first line. It's definitely for people who can separate sex from love.

[slatyb]

They aren't supposed to anything. Different people have different views of sex. In my experience the most intelligent people are also the least emotional about everything including sex.

[dynamicyandere]

@slatyb True, different people can have different views on sex, which why I emphasized that this is just my opinion and others are free to disagree.

Anything with the phrase ‘supposed to’ implies that the thesis someone is stating is philosophical in nature.

So, we’re talking about subjective viewpoints rather than objective facts.

My statement that love and sex is supposed to be interlinked does have a scientific basis though.

The naturally-occurring hormone called oxytocin is released in the body when a mother gives birth to their child.

It’s a hormone that’s designed to facilitate and expedite bonding and the forming of attachment between a mother and their child.

I would say that it’s natural for a mother to have a bond with their child. I would even say that a mother is ‘supposed’ to have a bond with their child.

Now, with sex, interestingly enough, the hormone oxytocin is ALSO released when two people are having sex.

It’s the body’s natural mechanism for bonding with who you’re having sex with.

Which is also why it’s so easy for someone (whether it be one or both partners) to ‘catch feelings’ for someone that you’re sleeping with.

Sex is naturally designed to be a bonding activity — something that evokes emotions and reinforces attachment.

So, my data-backed thesis would be: Sexual intercourse, without an effect on emotional attachment, is as natural as a mother birthing a child that they have no emotional attachment to. Therefore, to separate love and sex is to go against the biological mechanisms, inherent in the human genome, that facilitate the formation of emotional attachment during sex.

On another note, emotions facilitate social interactions, which help form societies, which in turn help improve the survivability of a group.

Emotional intelligence, though not superior to logic, is an advantageous attribute to have, whenever navigating social environments.

Leveraging EQ is actually more data one leverage can use to make better decisions.

[dynamicyandere]

more data one can use*

to make better (and more rational) decisions.*

[slatyb]

"Supposed to" implies that human sexuality was consciously designed for a purpose. There is no "against the biological mechanisms". The biological mechanisms have no aim so we can't "go against them". Human sexuality has always been complicated, and it's more complicated in other species that you may be aware. Humans aren't the only species who cheat on long-term partners.

[dynamicyandere]

I never said that all species are supposed to be monogamous. I only stated that sex facilitates emotional attachment because of the biological mechanisms (e. g. oxytocin release) that become active.

And, I would argue that biological mechanisms, in general, often DO have an aim.

It’s whether it’s micro evolution or macro evolution, species adapt and evolve in ways that aid their survival.

For example, a carnivore’s teeth are not sharp for no reason. It’s a biological mechanism with the aim of allowing them to tear flesh.

To say that biological mechanisms have no aim implies that adaptations serve no purpose.

[Worst]

I would only want to be exclusive with one person

[laurieluvsit]

Why is it any ones business if they are not harming others?

Isn't that more honest then doing things behind each others backs?

[aceleon]

do you wanna hear a secret?, come closer and lend me your ear, now listen closely... HONESTY DOESN'T MEAN SHİT!!!
do you wanna hear something much more honest? NOT BEİNG A WHORE AND NOT FUCKİNG OTHER PEOPLES WHİLE YOU ARE İN A RELATİONSHİP
gosh seriously what is it with people like you who thinks honesty and consent is the key to everything? no they are not they are just a part of toxic positivity culture.
no you can't love someone and fuck others it doesn't work that way, no matter how much you wanna believe it, this shit has a rate of %92 failure rate and against every law of universe, biology, chemistry, history, religion and even georaphy is against it.
and no, them not hurting anyone is not making it okay, there is a thing that is called society and if we want to keep our society clean from something like this disease we can't let this kind of behavior slide. sexd is an intimate thing, this kind of intimacy should not be shared with other people, jealousy is a valid and necessary emotion even animals have, trying to manage it or devalue it or trying to ignore it is inhumanly and incredibly offending.

[laurieluvsit]

@aceleon
My opinion and insight on this issue is different than yours.

Certainly Open Marriage is not for everyone, as is nothing else in love and war.

I do not try to force my opinions down anyone's throat.

You should take that same advice.

I think expressing your anger and vitriol in a counseling session with someone that may per chance be able to calm you down some would serve you better Mr Ace... just saying.

[IslaTheWitch]

I wouldn't go for it, but I agree that if both partners are OK with such solution... it's their decision.

[cherriibly]

@IslaTheWitch I agree with you, it's their decision, their life

[Thestupidusername]

Thats not even a marriage so no.. thats like being a vegan meat eater

[cherriibly]

I agree

[dynamicyandere]

Haha, that’s a great way of putting that. A ‘vegan’ that eats meat. 🤣

[Thestupidusername]

@dynamicyandere haha yeah..😅

[OlderAndWiser]

What is the point in getting married if you aren't promising each other an exclusive and monogamous relationship?

[wolfcat87]

For the same reason people have had non exclusive marriages for thousands of years. Sharing lives and resources.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sounds stupid to me. I’m getting married in April and i want my fiancée home with me, not fucking some other guy. And she wants me home with her every day.

[OlderAndWiser]

You can share lives and resources without getting married.

[aceleon]

a waste of time

disgusting

a worst thing a man can do to himself

probably not a man either, doesn't deserve the thing he carry in his pants along with the pants itself.

only a real slut would agree or want something like that

this is not a marriage or relationship, it is cancer

has a success rate of %8 at most %92 failure rate, it should be telling something

completely against nature, biology, history, religion and even georaphy

there shouldn't exist an idea like that in the first place, this term was not meant to be a thing.

[Miristheiss]

That is not marriage. If they do that they are just adulterers/harlots/degenerates.

A marriage requires monogamy. Open "marriage" is just two cheaters trying to live the lie they are "married".

[dynamicyandere]

Pretty much. It’s like they are married on paper but not in practice.

[slatyb]

A marriage is a legality. It means whatever the partners agree on.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't allow me to have sex with other men. He's allowed to have sex with other women but only if I'm there to watch or join in. Believe it or not its surprising how many women will engage in a threesome even if the other woman is just watching. Also a lot of women will watch and not join in.

[aceleon]

only kind of opennes i could allow in a relationship.
man and woman sexuality is not the same by proximity their instincts are not same either.

[slatyb]

Two couples I am acquainted with are reputed to have open marriages. I haven't heard it from them, so I don't know for certain. The seem to be quite happy with it -- they have been married for a long time.

[aceleon]

it's because the guy is not a real man, only reason why it is still going on.

[slatyb]

@aceleon open marriages work both ways. I know one of the husband's and I adore you he's date now of a man than you are. If "alpha" were a thing, he would be one. He's about 40 and can retire whenever he takes a notion.

[aceleon]

getting ladies doesn't make you an alpha or something that means you have the skill but not the pride or self-respect or any kind of dignity or bigger feelings than his pp has, his wife gets fucked by who knows who and he is a MAN this is absolute opposide of a man and if you believe he is a man you are as much of a cuck as he is, a cuck is a man? yeah i bet he is soo manly that he doesn't mind getting the sloopy seconds of the other guys, licking a place other guys fucked and loaded, kissing the mouth she used to suck other guys and swallowed their cum, saying i love you to her before she gets fucked in the doggy style by other guys? yes he looks really manly, grow up kid, he is a cuck loser, his wife is a whore and if you support this you are the exact same cuck as him.

[slatyb]

@aceleon Your viewpoint isn't shared by me or my friends -- mostly all in the top 1% of intelligence and the top 2% of household income.

[Kelly6]

I’m in open marriage and to us it’s totally good.

open marriage is not for everyone, it’s for only those who have good trust in their partners

[vicphilips]

Like what you are in open marriage?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not interested.

[IslaTheWitch]

no-go for me. I claim exclusive rights to the man in my life :D

[Berethor]

What the point? if a women have sex with multiple men then she is a ho.

[aceleon]

exactly.

[wolfcat87]

Same for a man then

[aceleon]

i'm not seeing your comment you bufoon, you blocked me.

[jshm2]

There is no such thing.

What they mean is a polyamourous relationship.

[aceleon]

which is the same bullshit.

[wolfcat87]

There's a big difference.

[DJB72]

There's no such thing. Just because you both know about it doesn't stop it being adultery.

[Iron_Man]

A license to cheat horrible that’s not marriage

[Anonymous]

pointless and a rob of benefits. just be single if you want to do that.

[Ironic_Method]

Not "open", but my wife and I thrive in an ENM situation.

[jarkitor20]

I don't like an open marriage but I'd be open to bringing in others

[aceleon]

in short you are a cuck

[riverrat3]

All for it, takes a lot of trust and if either is the jealous type it will not work

[Southchick1991]

Depends. I think you and your spouse should talk about it and if both parties agree it's game

[BCRanger10]

A contradiction.

[Al_Musafir]

Degenerate and ridiculous.

[exitseven]

They are not real marriages.

[jahaims]

For people with unresolved trauma

[Yannae]

I never heard of that.

[KrakenAttackin]

Unacceptable.

[EmpressAJ]

I think I’ll pass on an open marriage 😂

[MissBoogus]

It’s nice

[cherriibly]

Do u have open relationship?

[MissBoogus]

Yes kinda, but just with one other girl. So not sure if that’s considered an open or what

[cherriibly]

Oh I understand u, these things are really not for me , probably I will be jealous

[aceleon]

if the guy is with the same girl then no, if not yes it is still counts and it is horrible, maybe not as horrible as with another guy but still not cool.

[MissBoogus]

@aceleon we are seeing the same girl together

[aceleon]

then the lucky dude lives the ideal relationship.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Not my cup of tea

[HaveNoName]

Its a joke.

[LavLavLuv]

Not my thing

[vj0090]

Depends on individual... I don't mind

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Immoral.