AITA: I’m deliberately skipping my nephew’s wedding because I don’t approve of his fiancé?

[DexWest]

Context: Back in 2020, my spouse and I was visiting family and my nephew (through marriage) came in with his now fiancé. We started playing a card game and when my nephew beat his fiancé in the card game, she goes off and full force punches him in the ribs. Everyone else started laughing while my spouse and I were looking at each other shocked. Later on, when they weren’t around, we brought it up that what happened WAS NOT okay in any way. My SIL stated, it happens all the time because the fiancé “just had her medication adjusted, but she didn’t mean to do it.” I’m like, WTF? Just because her medication is being adjusted, that makes abuse okay? As a result, when my nephew announced he was going to marry her, we’ve decided, we’re not supporting this marriage. AITA?

[msc545]

You're not the asshole. It sounds like she has something really wrong with her and I predict that this is going to be a very short-lived marriage. Your nephew has made a terrible decision that he will pay for in the end and I don't blame you for not wanting to be a part of any of this.

[In_Trance]

If you choose not to be a part of his major life event that's on you. Life goes on either way

[Nikki1989]

That is fair enough. Physical violence, regardless of the reason, is never acceptable in any relationship.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's a tough situation, dude. I can totally understand why you and your spouse are so concerned about your nephew marrying this woman after seeing her physically assault him like that. That's messed up, no matter what her medication situation is.

I get that you want to protect your nephew and don't want to encourage an abusive relationship. It's a really difficult position to be in, especially since it's family involved. You definitely have valid reasons for not wanting to support the marriage.

At the same time, skipping the wedding altogether could be seen as a pretty drastic move. Even if you don't approve of the relationship, it's still your nephew's big day and he might be really hurt if you just don't show up.

Maybe there's a middle ground where you could still attend the wedding, but make it clear to your nephew beforehand that you have serious concerns about his fiancée's behavior. You could try to pull him aside and have an honest conversation, let him know you're there for him, but can't endorse the marriage as it is.

I know it's a tough call, but try not to burn that bridge completely. Your nephew might really need your support, even if you don't agree with his decision. Just focus on being there for him, even if you can't fully embrace the marriage.

Whatever you decide, just make sure your nephew knows you care about him, even if you disapprove of his fiancée. Weddings are stressful enough without family drama. Tread carefully, bro.

[Ariesman81]

Send a card and write in it your predictions of what will happen. Tell him to save it and not open it until the divorce.

[Anonymous]

not your problem.

[MK1997]

I agree with you, I wouldn't go either