Am I the a hole for telling my bestfriend to not bring his girl to our wedding?

[Anonymous]

I used to be close friends with this girl named Jane back in highschool. Never had feelings for her, never did anything with her. But she was my bestfriend, i since lost touch with Jane. Been with my fiance for almost 10 years now and my fiance has a standard/expectation that her partner should not have any female friends and that she should only be the one. She does not have any male friends either. I honoured that and cut off all female friends i had as your partner comes first. I don’t understand why some men would argue with their partners to keep a female friend around, rather than their relationship/marriage anyway. Id rather loose that woman than mine/my marriage period, people should have that mindset. Anyway Jane is kind of back in the picture and is dating a best friend of mine (he is not a best man, but i want him to come), but my girlfriend does not want Jane coming because of the history i have with her, and my girl is worried that the closeness we had in highschool will come back. I must make it clear and i also made it celar with my fiance, that i have NO-ZEROOO-NADA intention to be close friends with any other woman other than my fiance herself/in laws. Now, am i the a hole for telling my friend not to bring Jane? I dont want my wife to have a miserable day esp. on HER day, but i dont want it to affect my relationship with my homie either. What would you do?

[Lliam]

So Jane is dating one of your best friends who is invited to the wedding and your fiance is so insecure that she won't allow your best friend to bring his girlfriend just because you were once platonic friends with the girl.

I've rarely heard of anything so mean, hurtful and disrespectful.

If I was that best friend, I wouldn't attend your wedding or be your friend anymore.

You're fiance sounds like a psycho A hole. Is she going to keep your balls in a locked drawer when she's not using them?

I think you're in for a rough marriage.

[Anonymous]

Your finance sounds controlling and fucking jealous as hell. She legit pushed you to end a good friendship all because your friend was a female and now she doesn't want her there because you were close to her in high school despite not having had any contact with Jane in years.

Also this bullshit that a wedding is a brides day, no it fucking ain't. A wedding is also the grooms day as well. She would not be getting married if the guy didn't propose to her.

My advice if Jane has been with your friend for at least 2 years invite her to the wedding. Otherwise you may end up losing your friend and will you be able to continue living happily married knowing your wife contributed to you losing your friend because she was jealous and insecure over something she doesn't need to be

[Anonymous]

While I don't think you're an asshole for not wanting to bring Jane to the wedding because its your wedding and you should be able to invite/not invite anyone you see fit, I do think your fiancée is overreacting a bit. I also think it's wrong to not invite her because that's your best friend's girl. She shouldn't be so insecure about Jane especially since you lost contact with her years ago.

[DryGermanGuy]

Yes you are.

It's correct to put your spouse/partner first, but there really are limits, common sense should dictate that. I would have never cut contact with a long-time platonic friend, the same as I don't request from my girlfriend to drop her male friends. That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I think it's difficult but you can explain to your mate the problem, what your wishes are. He may or may not agree at which point you can either ask them not to come, or allow her to come with him.