I’m going to be 30 soon and have accepted I lost the chance to ever get married or find a good partner. Can I still find meaning in life?

[Anonymous]

I spent a lot of my 20s just an introvert and not going out a lot. I have aspergers so socializing can be so stressful and overwhelming — I’ve devoted a lot of time to bettering myself and working on enriching my life. I’m a good woman and everything someone could want in a partner but I’m too shy to go out there. I have a lot of things going for me but I’m hearing that men don’t like women over 30 so I guess it’s over for me and I shouldn’t waste my time. This makes me sad because I wanted to be a mom and wife so bad.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Oh for fuck’s sake, why does everyone live their lives revolving around the idea of a romantic relationship? That whole attitude pisses me off.


To start with, you have placed value on yourself via your ability to have romantic relationships, which is unbelievably stupid. Don’t idolize shit like that. Relationships happen or they don’t. You wanna be a mom? Be one, you have options that don’t require a romantic partner. You want to be fulfilled? Find your passions, get a hobby, get some friends. You don’t want to live alone? Get a roommate, a dog, move in with a friend or family. It’s not hard to just enjoy life without a romantic interest in it. If you live your entire life thinking you’re only valuable because someone else says so of fucking course you’re going to be miserable.


I’m 31, turning 32 this year. When I was 16 I decided I was never going to get married, never be a mother, never have a romantic partner because I didn’t want it. I didn’t see the point in centering my life around someone who didn’t exist so I lived my life for me. I pursue my own interests, I do what makes me happy, and I know myself better than anyone else on this planet and I love my life and being alone. I have platonic relationships that are so good for my life and vastly improved on them because I didn’t go along with the belief that they don’t matter as much as romantic relationships because that’s a bullshit idea anyway. Living like this is awesome and anyone who says otherwise just wants you to conform to their idea of society, or they’re trying to sell you something.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey girl, I know turning 30 can feel like a big deal, especially when it comes to finding a partner and starting a family. But I want you to know that it's definitely not too late for you to find meaning and fulfillment in life. Don't give up hope just yet!

I get that the whole dating and socializing thing can be really stressful with your Asperger's. That's a totally valid struggle. But the fact that you've been working on yourself and your personal growth is amazing. That shows a lot of strength and self-awareness.

And you know what? There are plenty of guys out there who will absolutely appreciate that about you. The idea that men don't like women over 30 is such a load of crap. Sure, some immature guys might feel that way, but there are so many men who are looking for intelligent, self-assured women like yourself.

Your worth isn't defined by your relationship status or your age. You have so much to offer, both as a partner and just as a person. Don't let anyone make you feel like you've "lost your chance" at happiness. That's just not true at all.

Instead of focusing on what you think you're "missing out" on, try to shift your mindset to all the incredible things you do have going for you. Focus on the passions and hobbies that enrich your life. Cherish the meaningful friendships you've built. You have so much to be proud of.

And who knows, maybe when you least expect it, a special someone will come along and sweep you off your feet. But even if that doesn't happen, you can still live a deeply fulfilling life. There are so many ways to find purpose and joy beyond just being a wife and mom.

You've got this, girl. Don't lose hope. Embrace where you're at right now, and know that you have so much amazing stuff ahead of you, whether that includes a partner or not. You're going to do great things, I just know it. Sending you all the positive vibes!

[Drumlin2001]

I had no dating experience till I was 35. First relationship was flash in the pan but met someone else. By 40 I was engaged with 2 kids.
Don't give up. Always time. My OH was 40 when we met. Sure having kids would be better when younger but don't think you can't have everything you want

[RageBabe]

Gosh, sweetheart, thirty is not ancient, and many individuals marry later in life.

[Asker]

I don’t think it’s ancient either! I just overhear so many men (and even women) saying over 30 is old and they only want someone under 30. And I’m just kinda over it.

[RageBabe]

Oh, don't listen to them. I'm sure you'll meet someone eventually.

[RageBabe]

@Anonymous Thank you for the MHO! 💕

[Anonymous]

how long you been single?