How would you handle it if your partner called off your wedding the day of?

Question

You're getting ready, you're surrounded by family and friends, and the best man, or maid of honor walks in with a note telling you your bride or groom has decided to call off the wedding the day of. They just couldn't go through with it, and they have left the venue.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I would have been devastated if that happened to me. She should have told me how she felt, well in advance of the wedding. Not having that discussion would have been very disrespectful and selfish.

Our wedding was not a simple wedding and I did almost all of the planning. She had family who traveled from China for the wedding. My church choir sang at the wedding. We had a string quartet. My brother played piano. I sang a song to my bride. There were about 150 guests present. We had a five-piece band at the reception at a country club. It was all very carefully planned. Allowing me to do all of that knowing that she was going to cancel would have been very insensitive and would have made me feel like a fool.

But she didn't cancel. Her son walked her down the aisle, her sister stood by her side while my best friend stood by my side. I sang a solo. The choir sang. We exchanged rings and said our vows. The reception went according to plan without a hitch. We made our getaway, spent a night in a local hotel, then drove to Hilton Head Island the next day. We spent a week visiting Savannah and Charleston and the surrounding areas and it was a perfect honeymoon.

If that had not happened. . . I would still feel hollow inside.

GoodManDave · Accepted Answer

Who paid for most of it? I suppose that changes things slightly…

I’d probably talk to her parents, and see what they’re doing about the party… I’m sure that since it’s too late to cancel the party in most cases, I’d probably just ask that people enjoy themselves, because I’m still going to try to have some fun. I don’t know how I’d handle that, but I think I’d still try to have some fun. Probably wouldn’t dance much. I think I’d still need the hotel room just so I don’t have to go back home right away. I’d probably try to hang out with friends for a while. I’d also change the locks pretty quickly if she had access to my place that way she’s probably not messing with my stuff or stealing or anything while I’m out.

I’d probably also be ticked off that all that money was wasted when I could have just done a small legal ceremony at city hall and it would be less humiliating and less public if she just didn’t show; I’d probably call, but if she told me over a call…

I mean, usually the marriage certificates are signed a day before; at least from what I’ve seen as witness/friend/videographer… so I guess we’d get it annulled if papers were signed.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

This actually happened to one of my closest friend… without the note… and with a bridesmaid suddenly missing.

She’s now married to an amazing man and had three lovely kids with him. Sometimes God sends you something harsh before sending the lovely thing you’ll then cherish properly.

Kayla45 · Accepted Answer

Drink and drink and drink until I can’t feel pain anymore, blackout, wish it was a dream, cry, cry even louder, crying while screaming, depression, mid life crises.

AviatorTom · Answer

I'd be devastated... and then realize that it's a good thing... to end our relationship before getting stuck in a bad marriage. There would be no wedding today, but since everyone is here, and reception cannot be canceled without losing all that money, and ready to go, we'd have a party.. for as many of the guests as want to enjoy it. I'd have the photographer take pictures of the guests and make the pictures available to them.

Simslover92 · Answer

I'd cry my eyes out and probably drink a whole bottle of Everclear straight and suffer from alcohol poisoning so they would have to take me to the ER.

Finchie40 · Answer

They call that the Runaway Bride Syndrome , I would be running the other way as well if she pulled that shit lol

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

I would feel pressed to find out why. If an explanation was not forthcoming the natural response would be revenge. However, I am not a hothead. If her family had paid for the wedding, I would just excuse myself. If I had paid for the festivities. I would party, In most relations their are those that are not showing their affections to the intended bride or groom because they did not want to upset their plans to marry. With that off the table those emotions, having been stretched, are likely to erupt. "The classical Hallmark Christmas story" Hell, there may be a wedding after all. Best friend turned lover.. No wasted flowers. Remember at this point emotions are a critical mass.

exitseven · Answer

I heard a story about a guy that called the bride's mother the night before the wedding telling her that he could not go through with it. I guess it was one of these big fancy weddings with a lot of people coming. The parents dropped a ton of money on this and most was non refundable. Naturally the mother was angry and she told the guy that he had better show up. So the next day the guy does not show up. I guess it was a real horror show. I do not know how it all ended up.

I guess if my wife did that I would be heartbroken and angry but in a few days I would be glad that she called it off.

Andrewsmith14 · Answer

If my partner dipped the day of our wedding? Man, that would *wreck* me. I wouldn't even lie and act tough about it — I'd be shocked, embarrassed, and heartbroken all at once. You don’t just walk away like that unless something really deep is going on... and the fact that they couldn’t even tell me face-to-face? That’s the part that would haunt me.

But after the initial emotional hurricane, I think I’d flip the script. The venue’s paid for, the people are there, the food’s hot — I’d turn it into a celebration of *me*. A "dodged-a-bullet" party. I’d cry, toast to clarity, and dance like I was just freed from a life sentence.

Painful? Hell yeah. But if someone can't communicate or be honest before a lifetime commitment, they saved you from *way* worse later on.

Anonymous · Answer

Obviously I wouldn't like it. But better it happen just before rather than right after. Know what I'm saying. Or than 10 years down the road. I mean as much as it would suck you have to think, "wow, I really dodged a bullet".

Of course all this is assuming she just didn't get cold feet. That's understandable for a bride. But the day of is kind of selfish. It may be YOUR day. But other people have sacrificed for you and that day. And you probably had doubts leading up to that day. If they were that strong you should've said something the weeks leading up to it.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm married.. But say this was an alternate reality.. If the person who was supposed to be my wife did that, I would remove her from my life, block her on everything, remove her from my accounts, remove my car insurance, cancel her phone, and move all of her stuff from my house to the front lawn, and change all of the locks.

I would see to it she suffered the consequences of her choices, we call this move "scorched earth". She came into my life with nothing, she would leave my life with nothing.

fantasticass · Answer

He has done you a favour. There is a better man in this universe for you. Go book a trip to go to the rainforest in south America. Get your paperwork in order. Go for 4 weeks. Reconnect with mother nature. Don't worry about the "wedding", that's unnecessary baggage. Have a great trip. This happen to my sister. She met the best man in the "Amazon Rainforest "while connecting with mother nature. Yeah, it's a hurt nobody really understands and I'm sorry for the unnecessary drama.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

It’s Party Time! As for me I would be jumping with joy & to be honest if it was a big wedding & family came I would still go through with the wedding reception & have a big party. As for the honeymoon I’m sure it’s non refundable so I would still go on it with or without her. After returning home I would seek legal action against my partner if she left me at the altar for the non refundable damages, court costs & other legal fees.

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

There would be nothing "handled." I would be crushed. That's about as far as I would care about handling anything. I would just be hurt beyond words.

There's no excuse for that. Not at the altar.

I guess I would handle it badly. Probably self-destructively.

ZephyrFluer · Answer

Oof, thats a bummer. Id just apologize for the priest. Invite him and all the other guests for the already prepped foods for them to enjoy. I don't want a waste. And certainly my partner is definitely not worth the trouble. But the food will be, if left by itself uneaten.

NathanDavis · Answer

we're still having the party..., the after-party just without her, I guess... shit happens

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Theoretically -

I'd feel relieved - the only reason for me to agree to a wedding would be to please my girl. If this farce is now called off... I can return to my own life style.

Practically -

It won't happen - I'd only be with a lady who does not insist on such bourgeois procedures.

(which does NOT! mean that I won't commit to my lady...)

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Bewilderment would be an understatement. I mean obviously she is questioning our future together. Essentially her way of saying, “we are done”.

Let the guest know there will be no ceremony. However the reception has already been paid for so all are invited to remain for that … and to bring me drinks.

Damn….

IslaTheWitch · Answer

it would mean I made a huge mistake... not seeing he wasn't ready...

DCVsMarvel · Answer

I'll never understand why she would want to leave a wedding. It's her wedding day, something she's dreamed of since she was a little girl, right? Who runs away from their dream? Especially since her father's paying for it, so I would think she wouldn't want her father mad at her

vaishnavii · Answer

At first I will think about the situation and will talk to him about issue and resolve it. if it can’t be resolved I will just say goodbye to him even he’s the the one I love and I need to respect the person that’s all I won’t even shed a single tear one must be strong so no one can hurt us! all the best for future!!

Lliam · Answer

That would be hard to take.

Blunky · Answer

Of course I'd be crushed but I'll be damned if I let the occasion go to waste. Bring out the booze and music, we're having a party. That's a lot of witnesses, including her own family, to what transpired that day.

desidoll · Answer

I would cry, feeling devastated, angry and embarrassed of course but at the same time thankful that he called it off before we jump into the next level which is way worse.

wynning · Answer

I'd probably kick myself for not noticing it sooner.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Man, that would be devastating depending on if I felt like I was looking forward to it or not.. If she basically left the day of, I probably would have felt that hesitancy, and lack of excitement well before that point though..

molonski2 · Answer

Difficult and embarrassing  BUT , a massive positive that they have finished it prior , rather than after.

Apulu_backagain · Answer

Um the food isn't getting wasted, we're going to celebrate my close escape from an immature guy!

FreyaRed · Answer

I would be angry and disappointed few seconds long but then I would plan what I will wear to his upcoming funeral.

Miristheiss · Answer

Reimburse me for every dollar I've spent, give me the ring back and then I'd never see or talk to her again.

NicholasRedone · Answer

*I ain't paying for all this myself* lol 😭 😭 😆 send in the lawyers

pass_the_celery98 · Answer

Devastated, confused, angry, extremely upset, and felt like a failure, especially when facing family and friends and telling them what happened.

sawno · Answer

Dissapointed but relieved it was before the wedding instead of a divorce.

Staximus · Answer

That's real shitty, they shouldn't have agreed to get married in the first place or at least called it off before all the plans were made and money spent

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I'll become embarrased and confused and it will take a lot of time for me to sort things out and maybe it will create a long lasting wound

Anonymous · Answer

I'd feel really embarrassed and humiliated, as well mad and heartbroken. I'd break up with them, i dont care what excuse they have

DrPepper12 · Answer

Party on people! Shits paid for! Bar is open & that's where I'll be!

Anonymous · Answer

That would suck, but it is not the end of the world.

lorenzomichael · Answer

Fuck, I’ll go celebrate with my boys after I take her ring back to the jewelers.

fish5505_87 · Answer

have a drink, vent hard, tell the guests. Say goodbye to the in laws one last time, end the relationship. Call a lawyer.

justarandomperson_55 · Answer

If it were an arranged marriage, I don't think it would affect me more than if it were a love marriage.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Better than if she went through with it and they decided to end it.

jahaims · Answer

I don't keep relationships with weak people. Id cold turkey no contact

Becky93 · Answer

I’d be pissed. They have me going down the aisle make look like a joke.

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

id be pissed, spending all that money for nothing, suck it up and deal with it

imfreeze95 · Answer

I would never speak of the incident and compartmentalize what happened.

Manuelwe · Answer

Relief and free. Because I will have a spare waiting

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I've never been in a relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Have you ever waited to contact someone just to see if the will contact you?

WishiwazDgrl · Answer

I would be heart broken. I would probably be really embarrassed and leave too

thegreenyogi · Answer

I'd be distraught and deeply hurt.

EmmaMary · Answer

I would quite simply be beyond consoling.

Zack-Bann · Answer

If she has a sister I’ll make it work 🗿

WhitneySnow · Answer

I would probably react the way she did

zagor · Answer

I would feel I dodged a bullet on that one.

Anonymous · Answer

Omagh I think I'd end up on the funny farm

AgentG111 · Answer

Definitely wish that the last two had.

Madgedays · Answer

Devastated I saw this question on reddit

MemeSupreme · Answer

decapitation

Alev121 · Answer

I'll cause a big problem

Anonymous · Answer

I would accept it with understanding.

Credentialmayhem · Answer

I would move on life goes on

bunny234 · Answer

Super sad

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