Working full time yet still struggling: does it ever get better financially?

Question

Me and husband both work full time, im currently on maternity leave as im due June/July time but we both earn a decent wage for working/middle class brits we both bring in together yearly £80,000 before tax and tax is what seems to be getting us. It feels like were being punished for working are arses off whilst we never see the benefits from it meanwhile someone i work with who only works part time and claims every benfit under sun can seem to go on all inclusive hoildays twice a year and go down the pub every weekend.

I've never claim benfits in my life and I don't judge the ones who genuinely need it like the disabled but it wasn't my choice for jenny down the road to decide to have 7 kids so why should I have to pay for them? If im turly honest

Everyone says to me at work "oh dont bother coming back once you have the baby just claim working tax credits" but I can't because my husband earns too much and has too much in savings.

We end up going on caravan hoildays in the uk and barely ever go out. Most the things I've gotten my baby is from the charity shop whilst im seeing all these other mums pushing the baby's around in all the big brands.

I just assume they have no savings and live on the never, never. Everyone tells me it will get better and most young couples struggle. Im 28 and my husband is almost 33.

My husband even works cash jobs after his work to make abit extra. he's making himself sick because he works so much. I've literally been crying to him today saying id rather be poor then see him sick and tired. I dont want him working himself to death.

I tell myself it won't always be like this and once we get older will start to see the benefits of working hard but everything just seems so expensive atm.

I worry how the baby will effect things. We are very lucky but if worse came to worse we have families who'd help us out but I don't want my husband working so much to provide to the point he actually never sees the baby.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you keep your nose to the grindstone and make sacrifices it will make difference down the road. But Don't expect it'll ever be what you want it to be. The power that be have way of changing the rules as you go and closing doors to keep you on the treadmill. That way they get the absolute most out of the productive years. of your life. And then when they yank the rug out from underneath of you at the end of your life you don't have enough life and strength in you to fight them.

Look at me, I was flat BROKE at your age. Now at around the half century mark I have a high 6 figure net worth. I can't retire! Sure I could afford to live. But with the high and skyrocketing cost of Healthcare I need to work for the subsidized Healthcare. I project within 10 years. At current compounding (the last 25 year avg.) I should have 2 million. I don't expect to be able to retire then either. Yet the ass-clowns that sat on their ass for the last 25 years. Did the absolute minimum will get their Healthcare paid for because they can't afford it either. But I get the honor of paying for all I can, simply because I can.

I agree with you. I don't begrudge anyone receiving what they need. This is what safety news are for. But I now make twice in my investments annually what I makes at my occupation. You shouldn't have to be Warren Buffet to afford to retire. And I can't really complain about this. Because part of my portfolio is comprised of Healthcare and pharmaceutical companies. So I'm profiting off the very entities that ate gouging me.

Our Healthcare system is f***ed!

by the way. I understand my complaint feels like high maintenence problems.

The takeaway I hope you caught was I said i was flat broke near your age (age 26). Now I got a high 6 figure net worth. But I still can't retire. So yes, it'll get better. But you'll likely never get off this treadmill. You'll trade the problems you have now for different problems later. So enjoy what you can of life in the moments you can.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

I won't be dismal, but I won't be optimistic.
You are young enough to be my daughter... and I had no kids because I saw this shit coming. I am a generation older than you and it was shit for me too! I can't retire...

However!
If you are smart with your money (*) and take advantage of opportunities and have some gumption (like side jobs working from home or working for yourself), you may be able to improve your situation.

"Smart with your money":
Cut your expenses wherever you can.
For instance, subscribe to almost nothing.
Cut electricity and petrol use. For instance, I generally unplug unnecessary devices to avoid "vampire power". I do laundry in the evenings. I avoid driving until the weekend and then spend the day doing all my shopping. (I work from home.). Avoid using appliances when you can do something manually; for instance, washing dishes by hand instead of a dishwasher. Hang washed laundry outside (if you can) to let the sun and wind dry clothes.

Be thankful for something though: You have the NHS so you don't have to worry too much about medical bills. Here in the USA, if you fart wrong, the doctor is going to charge you $1000.

whocares1972 · Accepted Answer

Cable is a luxury, wifi at home is a luxury, having a vehicle is a luxury, not living on a budget is a luxury.
Budget is the answer. Throw away your credit cards, live on cash only. If your husband doesn't want to take out his savings, then go to a lawyer and have the lawyer tell him it's his legal responsibility to support his wife and child. You have to work as together as a team, if not, then the writing is on the wall. Leave him, the lawyer might suggest that too!!. You're more important in this relationship than him. Don't forget that ♥️🙏✌️

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

You need a better-than-average wage to be comfortable these days. The average wage here is $104,000, and people are still struggling. You need to aim for double that if you want to be sitting pretty.

MrOracle · Answer

There's a lot of that everywhere in the world right now - we're in a big transition period and whenever that happens, there is a lack of stability and lots of people either can't afford to spend money or they simply choose to save more, and that slows the whole economy.

That said, there's something else you need to be aware of if you aren't already: your government (like so many) have been screwing you over for decades. The UK essentially outsourced nearly all manufacturing, limited development of oil and gas, and then started taking in massive amounts of immigrants and focused on "renewable energy" that simply isn't even close to being feasible to replace the oil and gas and coal and especially the nuclear plants that used to provide the UK with energy. They took an independent country and made it completely dependent on other countries in the name of improving their own personal image to the WEF - and now the world has changed and it has backfired catastrophically.

The UK now has a lower average household income than the US's poorest state (Mississippi). 30 years ago, the UK would have been 7th on the list in average household income if it was a US state - today it would be 51st. This is 100% due to long-term government policies that prioritized "green energy" and DEI over national independence, and most people are just figuring out that the UK needs weeks to deploy a single ship to a crisis region, because military readiness in the UK is a sad joke.

I'm not saying any of this as an insult - the US was on the very same trajectory, but we fought to change direction a decade ago. We could easily be right where you are too. My point is to make sure you understand WHY you are in the situation you're in, and make sure you are voting for people who aren't going to keep going in that same direction. The UK is in far more serious trouble than most people are willing to say out loud, and believe me, most Americans consider the UK to be like brothers, and we don't want to see you go down. Many of us have British ancestors. But we have no vote - you do.

All I can advise you to do is to figure out how to live even more modestly, and to do your best to save and invest money so that compound interest works in YOUR favor rather than only against you. That's really your only way out, and that definitely won't happen overnight and it definitely won't be easy. The world is going to encourage you to spend spend spend on a bunch of crap you don't need, and will make you feel bad if you don't, but that's all just marketing BS. You can live a happy life without most of that. But the only likely path to financial security is to be able to invest your "extra" money into things that can grow even while you sleep. And you have to start somewhere, even if it's only $100.

The only other advice I can give you is to start making escape plans. The UK could very easily get much, much worse. The country is on very unstable ground after decades of "managed decline" and mass immigration of people who don't share your values, and it may well be that your best solution is to leave for someplace that is a whole lot less socialist and a whole lot more Capitalist.

exitseven · Answer

When I was younger and having kids we were in the same predicament. Every month was a struggle and often we had to eat what food we had left in our house. Things did get better. I got a better job and after my kids were old enought to go to school, my wife went back to work.

Anonymous · Answer

Damn ain’t that a little over $100,000 in US currency? You should be living pretty descent. My wife doesn’t even work. I make about 75% of what you two make, we’re living pretty good. Lifestyle maybe?

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Donald Trump's America, folks! If you think this gets better you haven't been paying attention.

jamesgoldman · Answer

It's the UK so no... thankfully I only make £6,000 a year so don't fall into the tax trap

jahaims · Answer

You didn't know you were poor prior to having a child?

In_Trance · Answer

So what's your question here?

oldman26 · Answer

Top 1% wants to keep you down

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Soon.

Working full time yet still struggling: does it ever get better financially?

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Working full time yet still struggling: does it ever get better financially?

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