I recently posted a mytake called "Why I Hate Bridal Showers" https://www.girlsaskguys.com/marriage-weddings/a48862-why-i-hate-bridal-showers
I actually hate both bridal and baby showers but I couldn't decide which was worse. I eventually decided that bridal was slightly worse because people wonder when you're next and there is no junk food.
After some thinking, however, I wondered if I was right to think that bridal showers were worse because baby showers can be just as (if not, more) annoying.
But before we begin, I would like to make a couple of disclaimers.
Disclaimer 1:
A couple of things that I hate about baby showers are the same reasons why I hate bridal showers and therefore, I won't re-visit them in detail, but here is a brief rundown:
1. It's Girls Only (and I know I'll be pissing off a lot of hardcore feminists when I said "girly topics" vs "gender-neutral topics", a lot of girls and women are inclined to talk about guys when alone with other women and girls the same way that guys are inclined to talk about women and girls when alone with other guys. When it's a co-ed environment, you're less likely to talk about that sort of stuff and more about stuff like the weather or whatever.)
2. So Much Wedding Talk (or "Baby Talk" in this case)
Disclaimer 2:
I'm not trying to shame women who love baby showers nor the idea of having a baby. I'm just ranting about why I personally hate going to baby showers.
Now that we got all of that out of the way, let's get started!
1. Cuteness Overload
And it's not the good kind of cuteness, it's the annoying kind of cuteness where it's like everything is centered around disgusting body part puns and that you have to eat baby shaped food. Which reminds me...
2. No Alcohol
I recently turned 21 and then my friend had a baby shower about two weeks later and yes, it was a serious disgusting cuteness overload factor and since the mother-to-be isn't allowed to have alcohol, there is none to help the guest survive getting through this stupid party.
3. The Games
These are some of the stupidest and so-cute-it's-disgusting things you'll ever encounter if you're a woman. They make you play crap like "Guess How Big The Mother's Belly Is!" or "You have to wear diaper pins and if You Say "Baby", you have one pin taken away from you!" And the prizes are always crap that we don't need like "diapers for the childless college kid!" Like what? How about you buy my books I need for the next term? It's the least you could do for making suffer through this crap!
4. Pop Quiz!
When they make you take a quiz about the mother's information or whatever. Well, what if you were a friend of a guest and you've never met the mother and you're just awkwardly staring at a page? But even if it's not that and the test is about something else, I feel this stupid because it's like you're expecting to go to a party and then you suddenly have to take a test that you were never warned to study for!
5. Where's Dad?
I stated in my bridal shower take that guys were never forced to suffer and it's like I'm being punished because I'm a girl. Well, I think that at baby showers, at least the father should have to go because he helped make the baby that we're here to honor and your mother to be has a giant belly that limits her mobility so you should be there to help her! As well as because the father should somehow have to participate in the crappy aspects of pregnancy and not just the fun part (if you know what I mean...)
6. They Take Forever
I don't know why, but for some reason, baby showers feel longer than bridal showers. At least with the bridal shower, you have the pleasure of there possibly being drinks to help you get past it and you have the knowledge of the chicken nuggets awaiting you in your car to sneak out too when it's time to choose what kind of diet lettuce you want to eat. On top of that, there are no stupid games and/or cuteness overload factors. Baby showers are a huge waste of my Saturday that I could be spending catching up on my novels about death and murder that I can't bring to a baby shower because it would be too inappropriate for that grotesquely G-rated event (even though the women there are most likely to be 18 or older).
7. "Oh, You're Glowing!"
I don't want to sound like I'm being a bitch here (actually, this is true for the whole take, but here especially), no one can seem to get over talking about the mother's belly, or how she's glowing or crap like that. Now, I think it's good that they want to boost the mother's confidence since it's probably not very high due to the hormones and the physical symptoms of pregnancy (i.e. all the weight she's gained from the baby) I really do. But it gets so annoying when no one can seem to talk about anything else that's at the party like the baby shaped watermelon at the snack table. It's kind of like the baby shower scene from "Lady and the Tramp" where all the women were in one room talking about how beautiful and radiant Darling was and their husbands (and yes, their husbands came to the shower... seems a little odd to me, but I have nothing against it (obviously)) were in the other room laughing at Jim Dear and telling him how awful and tired he looks. Is it okay that if I went to that party, I'd rather spend it mocking Jim Dear in the mens' room? ...or something else we can call it to make it sound less like I'm being a creep in the bathroom...
So that was the second part of my rant against showers. Now if I'm ever blessed with a baby, I will either have the shower go my way or I'll just have everybody send me gifts in the mail. With that said, thank you for reading, have a nice day and congratulations on your baby if you're having one!
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