Should I surprise visit my ex girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Its been three years since I have seen her and after being unhappy I realize she's been the one. I left herand I am the one who cheated on her but I did change. No its not complete bs I did I learned my lesson. During the 2 and a half years we had together in high school she gave up everything for me, her religion, old friends, time with her friends etc. I heard she moved farther away from town because she hated seeing me with other women it still hurt her. I told her (me being an absolute idiot back then) "you know I will Always love you but this is for the best" and even after we broke up she still believed I loved her still. So it must of stung for her to see me around with other women. I finally found her new address should I drop by her doorstep and surprise her? I don't know if she's moved on but most likely not.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks ladies I guess she will be the one that got away... I just wish I could re do our whole relationship. I honestly miss her but I guess she deserves better...

[ApatheticApology]

Leave her alone. You've hurt her enough. You REALLY hurt her. Why do you want to go back into her life and rip open wounds that are starting to heal? If it's taken you this long to realize she is so special, then be a little considerate. Cheating is unforgivable. It hurts someone for life. Don't go after her, move on with your life and give the girl some peace. It'll only hurt her if you bring your face back around. Trust me. I cried every time my ex tried to contact me but I was too weak to tell him to go the hell away. Part of me liked it, but I knew I should tell him to go away, I just couldn't, because I cared about him. It was incredibly painful, stressful, and not worth it. I've cut off complete contact. Don't bring those negative feelings back into her life. I found someone new, and now I don't think about my ex. Ever. I'm glad... I used to torment myself every day wondering why he left me. He made me insecure when we hung out together since the breakup. I was constantly wondering what I did wrong. It drove me crazy.

[Anonymous]

YOU HURT HER. leave her alone. She deserves someone nicer and better. you screwed up and made up your bed, so lie in it, Hope it feels like cement. Stop playing with girls hearts, guys like you are the reason why us nice guys never get a chance. grow up dude, life isn't a mini game of LIFE where everything is make believe and you can get everything you want instantly. You screwed up. Leave her alone. she deserves better and can do way better. But for next time, maybe try to care just a little bit. Maybe realize that your females have something called a heart... maybe you should get one too.

[blackwaterhattie]

I don't think you have to never contact her ever again, I just don't think you should come running up to her all out of nowhere, like LIVE and in the flesh. Call her first, or if you can't call her, send her a card with your contact info, and if she wants to see you, go for it. And if not... well, not much you can do but respect her wishes. Also, if you go that route, be prepared for her to sit on it for a while- you may not hear back right away. She may need time to digest. Feel me?

[Asker]

Yeah I guess... I think she changed her number from all the drunk texts. I even bought a ring when I was drunk. I guess if I was her I'd be pretty freaked out if my ex showed up at my door with a ring.

[blackwaterhattie]

Yes, Lawd! I'd sh*t my pants if any of my exes showed up all out of nowhere- with a ring!

[Asker]

Haha well that would be embarrassing! Would you slam the door on them or what would you say?

[blackwaterhattie]

Funny you should ask that- since I read your question I have been thinking about that. Here's what I came up with: it might be okay for a few of them- I might even be pleased to see those few. It has been long enough that I wouldn't feel terrible if they came up on me looking like hell- make sense? There's nothing there anymore but, like curiosity. There are a couple that would have to be crazy to ever come up on me again, considering the way the break ups went with those guys- it wasn't pretty-

[blackwaterhattie]

and there is STILL bad blood and there always will be. I'd probably go for those two guys if they showed up on my doorstep- and I mean, I would do my level best to beat the everloving sh*t out of them. As for the rest of 'em, I probably wouldn't even answer the damn door.There's a reason I'm not with any of these guys anymore.When I closed those chapters,I GLUED those f*ckers shut and I have zero interest in their lives or in anything they could say to me.But maybe it will be different for you.

[Asker]

That's the thing we don't have that much bad blood except that I hurt her and she left her boyfriend for a year for me. It was a long distance thing andshe took a giant risk. I hope she ddidn't glue me out haha

[britannny]

No! No surprise visits. There's nothing wrong with trying to reconnect with her, but give her a warning in advance and the chance to say she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. What if she has a new boyfriend, and you just show up, and he's over there and he sees you and it causes problems for her or something? Message her on Facebook, or text her or something to test the waters before you go see her.

[Anonymous]

Please don't, I was in a similar situation. I took him back had and after some time dating he hurt me and broke my heart again. I was just a door mat. Please let her move on, and take what you have learned to another relationship (hopefully a more successful one!).

[Anonymous]

NO you are using her. Like yeah you like her now but you know she was always there waiting for you while you did your stuff out there. You didn't realize what you had, now you want her. That's selfish. I hope she has moved on and if I were her and you ever showed up randomly, I wouldn't take a second look. Newsflash the grass isn't always greener on the other side.. Just saying. Let this be a lesson for you.

[sockz]

Don't do it. Best to just forget about her and move on. You broke her heart but she would have healed by now, if you surprise visit her it'll reopen that wound.

[CherryBlossom87]

No she is probably oved on by now, and you stopping by will only bring back old feelings and pain you left her with,

[Girlie8780]

call her up, text her, or fb her

she might be busy, not at home, maybe even with a new boyfriend if you just randomly stop by

[Anonymous]

Don't surprise her, it is the worst possible thing you can do right now. If you ring the bell she will think you're stalking her or couldn't find any other girl to be in a relationship with. She won't feel special. What you could do is give her a text saying how she has been or "accidentally" meet her on the streets when you hang out in her neighborhood. All the best.

[Anonymous]

Calling or texting might be a better option. Imagine if she lives with her new boyfriend, or is sick or whatever... make a contact before.

[isotope]

Don't! Just .. don't.

[blackwaterhattie]

Don't. Do. That.

[Anonymous]

text her..