Why You Should Never Give Advice (Page 2)

[Anonymous]

You've just give an advice...

[phil2]

I know, I started my my take with that idea. It's not to give advice but I want to help guide you to think for yourself and come up with your own solution.

[phil2]

And I want you to do the same for others. We only should give options not tell them how their life. Here is an example, my son asks if he can hit another kid. I don't advise him to not hit. Instead I ask him what he thinks he can do and why. He says he can hit or not. Then I ask what is the outcome? He can say, hitting gives him a time out, no hitting he might come to me or an adult for help. I ask him which choice is better for him? He says he doesn't want a time out, but to play so won't hit.

[Opinion Owner]

Your kids is strange if my parent tell me that. I would have hit him hard since my parent doesn't care and I won't be punished...
I prefer ask for advice because if I don't I take really bad descision who always come with problem.

[phil2]

You need to learn the process because you are capable and you will be the only one responsible for yourself. As for your parents, they should have helped you learn that process. I am a parent, I am going to get to know my kids and get them to know themselves and make decisions for themselves. That's what adults do. I set boundaries and I do time out with my kids. It will be groundings when they get older. I have to do it, it's my job. They can choose to do good and get to play or do bad and get a time out. That's their job, it's their choice to make.

[Opinion Owner]

For me being a parent is not that. Being a parent is too help your child take good descision and not let them take bad. They will not trust you anymore if you do nothing for them. It's like you don't care for them and not love them.
If they want to cook and you know they will hurt themselves you ll let them hurt themselves?

[phil2]

I still give options. In the cooking option I will say if you cook you might burn yourself, if you let mommy do it you can play toys. Which do you choose. You have to let them take responsibility for themselves and you have to face their consequences. Some kids learn more that way. This is just my way of life. You can live however you want

[Opinion Owner]

If I had kids and they burn themselves during cooking when I know I can have doing something for avoid it I would feel really guilty.

[phil2]

I would not. You remind me of my parents. I might write that another day.

[Opinion Owner]

My parent are like me. In fact they're really overprotective even if I'm 18 now. They do all they can to protect me. Like when I was younger I cannot go in the kitchen cause i can be hurt, they always tell me to take a scarf / vest when going out. If it rain outside they will always take time to drive me where i want to go, etc..
It show that they care about me

[phil2]

you are 18 now, you shouldn't have to always rely on your parents to make decisions for you. They really should have taught you from a young age that you can make your own choices. I had the same kind of parents. I think that they meant well, but because we felt that they were making all our choices for us, we felt like robots so we started to rebel. Going outside and wearing a scarf, you have to start thinking... I do this because it makes me warm and I like it. Not because your parents just tell you to. You have to start thinking, I don't do that because it harms me, not just because your parents tell you to. People need to make their own choices, not rely on others to always make their choices for them. Then blaming their parents for making bad choices for them later on... be responsible for yourself. Your parents need to raise you up like you are going to be on your own.

[Opinion Owner]

I have a weak health but I hate being warm and wearing a lot of stuff. I like going out only in shirt and short so my parent always worry about me.
I try to make my own choice, I do sometime but I don't know why but it finish always bad. Like I buy a shirt and the second time I wear it I see a big holes (because of the worst quality). When I want to buy some shoes / clothes on internet my parent tell me to not do it cause every time I had doing it I had problem.
I alway take really bad descision and after they had to help me. So I prefer asking their opinion / let them tell me what to do instead of making something bad.

[Nuala]

So... why are you on this site?

[phil2]

I am mostly here to figure out how people think.

[Anonymous]

Great advice!

[phil2]

Thank you!!!

[Derpdeder]

Them what's the point of gag

[Harpesian]

Such irony lmao.

[phil2]

You help guide them to make their own decisions, it's a problem solving skill and everyone should know that they are more than capable instead of always depending on others to make decisions for them

[Harpesian]

The irony is that this entire myTake is giving advice. You're giving us advice to not give advice. A bit "do what I say, not what I do", eh?

[phil2]

You have to see all advice as options and you have to advise yourselves to be the ones that make the final decision. This is one option, there are so many options out there. You choose what works for you

[Harpesian]

Yeah, I know, I was just commenting on irony. XDD