Having Multiple Mental Disorders And How I Cope With It
Alright, so I'm sure by now you all want me to shut up lol. I have been kind of busy on here today but I feel a burst of energy and I take it and use it when I can. That right now is being projected into GAG. So sorry for the annoyed people.
Enjoy, or not, both are always welcomed.
List Of All The Disorders/Mental Illnesses I Have:
* Anxiety/Social Anxiety Disorder- Social anxiety disorder (sometimes called “social phobia”) have a marked fear of social or performance situations in which they expect to feel embarrassed, judged, rejected, or fearful of offending others. People with generalized anxiety disorder display excessive anxiety or worry for months
*PTSD- (Post-traumatic stress disorder)- A disorder that develops in some people who have experienced a shocking, scary, or dangerous event characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior.
*Eating Disorder (No Name)- The doctors said it's obvious I have an eating disorder but there is no name they have for it yet. My mind basically puts food as one of my last priorities and I go days without eating. And when I either eat small amounts or large amounts so I can go more days or get it over with quickly. It just feels gross to me.
*Psychotic Disorder (Auditory Hallucinations)- I basically hear voices that aren't really there sometimes. My physiatrist told me most of them are suppressed memories of my childhood replaying back in my mind. Like a flashback almost, but I'm hearing it. Others stem from being in such a tired state all the time because of my insomnia.
*Major Depression Disorder- A mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life.
*Severe Insomnia Disorder- Persistent problems falling and staying asleep. Mines is pretty bad, my body won't let itself fall asleep. My mind is hyperactive and never stops, so I normally pass out when my body can't take anymore. And that's how I get to sleep.
* Dissociative Amnesia Disorder- Dissociative amnesia was formerly called psychogenic amnesia. It occurs when a person blocks out certain information, often associated with a stressful or traumatic event, leaving the person unable to remember important personal information. For me that happens with simple stuff as well, I'll forget conversations and events with people and only certain triggers bring it back.
*Severe Mood Swings- I have terrible mood swings. I run off energy spikes as well, and they all happen randomly. One moment I'm happy and energetic, the next, sad and depressed.
How I Cope With Them In Everyday Life-
I'll go by the list on how I address each disorder. I feel like it would be easier to go about it that way.
1. Anxiety/Social Anxiety Disorder- Honestly, I still feel bad anxiety generally, and socially. I can't seem to make those feelings go away, but I do work on my actions/reactions to it. This is probably I come off as awkward, too laid back, or giddy with people.
It's just my way of calming my own nerves. I mirror emotions, which means whatever I think you're feeling I feel it as well to gain empathy. I can't really control it either. That mixes with my own feelings of anxiety and it's just a hot mess inside. However, being mindful of breathing and telling myself I'm okay really helps.
Also, learning to let it go and not worry about what's going on inside really helps me cope with this. I just let it all flow naturally and feel what I'm feeling without trying to fight it.
2. PTSD- (Post-traumatic stress disorder)- I'm not going to lie, with this I just allow myself to go into the flashback or panicked state then I work from inside there. I try to calm myself and hold onto things that are real and remember that I am in control of my actions. That everything is fine and I'm safe. I just feel it and let the event happen again while I remain peaceful.
Sometimes I may cry or slip of course, but I try to stay grounded by again being mindful. Which means keeping myself in the present moment by touching stuff and becoming overly aware of what's happening now not in my mind. It is a major battle though.
3. Eating Disorder (No Name)- My sister has actually been really helpful about this with me. I honestly don't think I'd be doing well so it without her. She put timers on my phone and bought me a lunch prepping bag where I make all my food the night before and I eat that during the day when the timer comes on so I can get it over with and stay healthy.
Honestly, I love her, probably would be dead without her really. I think cooking the food together when she comes over helps brings up closer too so bonus.
4. Psychotic Disorder (Auditory Hallucinations)- I just ignore these really, they get kind of crazy sometimes but that's why I listen to so much music. Sometimes, I'll hear them through the music here and there but these are rare and easy to ignore.
5. Major Depression Disorder- You can't ever really cure this, so my doctor says anyway. However, I personally deal with it personally by doing a number of things. Like staying super busy every other day or so. And having the other days to relax and process what's happening in my life.
Being busy gives me motivation and takes away boredom which leads to overthinking /depressive thoughts. Since my mind is so active, doing things is like feeding it and gives it something to chew on but once I've got enough I relax and let it digest so I won't be too overwhelmed.
I also like to let my brain take out its obsessive perfectionism by having a lot of side hobbies, dressing up, reading, writing, researching, GAG and talking to friends.
And being with my pet, of course, that's my best friend in the entire world. Outside of my boyfriend.
6. Severe Insomnia Disorder- With this one I kind of go for the same tactic as well. Mainly, my boyfriend, he helps me with this one. I have a scheduled time frame to do things and he keeps me busy so I tire myself out enough mentally, physically, and sometimes emotionally. That can be with us going places a bunch and having fun-
Or doing important adult things that cause a lot of energy. Me going to the military base every month, finances, future kids, careers, shopping, college, or just gaming each other because we're both super competitive.
Then I fall asleep at my scheduled time because I tired myself out during the day and my brain is running slow enough for me to sleep peacefully. Things only go south if I mess up the schedule or don't do enough during the day.
7. Dissociative Amnesia Disorder- This one is a bit more stressful, he helps me out with this too since he sees it more than anyone else. I'll forget a lot of stuff that happens sometimes, and he'll have to help me remember it. Worse it's been is big conversations or events that took place in our relationship.
Or just gaps in time and stuff it's just really tricky, he's good with helping me on it but I'm honestly still working on this. Best I do is save as much as I can and use repetition methods.
8. Severe Mood Swings- Okay this is really annoying for me since it happens all the time, every day. I don't do much but let the emotions come and try to stay calm again. See, this is why I act like such a sloth and" happy go, lucky person," most times.
It's because that's my only way of really staying sane if that makes sense. It's how I control my situation. I feel whatever I feel and act in what I think is the most logical way to go about something. Which is to not be too attached but still show I'm involved. I have trouble balancing out my reactions without coming off as creepy or crazy as I actually am.
Conclusion:
I think the biggest helpers for me in all this is some Buddhist practices/teachings (I'm atheist but I enjoy some of their ways) and people like Sadhguru and Alan Watts.
Telling family or people I care about my problems. They helped me as much as they could and it really paid off. Yes, I had to do most of the work but having that support is really better. Doing it by yourself is fine but support makes the process faster and more enjoyable for me.
Therapy has helped a lot as well, I largely recommend it for most people. Even if you don't have all the issues I have it's just a good way to stay healthy mentally.
Staying physically healthy helps influence the mind, something I adore often is yoga for one.
And I keep my environments clean and open. I meditate like crazy, I really think a lot more people should do it more. It helps a TON. And yeah, so there's another myTake for today. Love you GAG, I wish you well.
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