How would you describe your own self esteem?

Question

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. It seems a lot of people have problems with their own self esteem and feeling unworthy when comparing themselves to other people.

It's sad to see if someone doesn't like themselves much. At a guess I would say poor self esteem is probably the most fundamental groundwork you are going to get for something to cause problems in your life. People at least appear to operate on the metric - that if you act the part of a good person others will treat you with more respect. For better or for worse. So opportunities and friendships and potential outcomes will be limited to you if you don't train your own self esteem up. Self love is really, really important - and there is the famous saying that "You must first love yourself, before you learn to love others".

Bonus questions: Do you think you can control your self esteem to some extent? Do you have any stories about why your self esteem is the way it is? Are you happy living the way you are? And what advice could you give to someone who is suffering from esteem issues?

SmartButBroke · Accepted Answer

I think terms like "self-esteem" and "confidence" are thrown around without really understanding what they mean or what the difference between the two are. Admittedly, I am not sure I understand what "self-esteem" is, but I know I am the kind of person whom if I say what I really think others will interpret it as low self-esteem.

For me, a lot of my thinking comes from how others have reacted to me in the past and maybe even how many continue to react; it's not just made-up thoughts and fears I have with no basis in reality, which is how I feel like psychologists and others talk about low self-esteem. When is it low self-esteem, and when is it just reality, you know?

I would not say I don't like myself. I can distinguish between how I feel about myself vs how others feel or have felt, and that's what I don't think people understand sometimes when they label others as having self-esteem issues. I like my personality and wish more people had it, but I can see that my personality is not helpful or the type that is valued by others when it comes to things like dating, making friends or my career/being successful. I don't think I'm good-looking, but I also don't have a problem with that, really... but you can't say you don't find yourself attractive without people thinking you have self-esteem or confidence issues... apparently, everyone is required to find him/herself attractive.

Basically, I like myself but feel/have experienced that most others don't like me unless they're significantly older (like my parents age) or significantly younger (like babies and kids) or unless they're a guy I start talking about sports with if they like sports. It's hard to be totally happy with that, though, because, like I said, it's nearly impossible to date or make friends on your level. I can't hang out with or date 3-year olds and 60-something-year olds.

Honestly, someone with self-esteem issues, I wouldn't tell them anything. There's nothing you can say to them. That's something they have to fix themselves and have to want to fix themselves. And, like I said, sometimes it seems like self-esteem issues to you when they're just being realistic and/or self-aware about what they go through and how others perceive them. I let a lot of people "with self-esteem issues" explain their experiences and reasoning; I don't try to discount or invalidate what anyone has been through in their life by trying to push my beliefs/thinking down their throat.

spuitkaas · Accepted Answer

My self-esteem fluctuates a lot. There are times I feel confident and I don't think I'm ugly or stupid, but I get very insecure about the details looks-wise. I can hide those details with clothing and makeup, but then I do feel anxious without them.
Other than that, I feel very insecure avout not having a real passion in life. I also feel like I have no real talent. I'm kinda smart, but that's kinda it. I can't concentrate for a long time, not handy, have a really bad memory and I'm kinda charismatic, but not extremely.
My self-esteem is like this because I was bullied for years and because of the family I come from. My parents are very critical and a little too blunt sometimes.
I would love to boost my self-esteem a bit, but I honestly don't know how. I also always fake it to the real world, so that's why I do feel quite secure most of the time, but just not when I'm bare-faced, naked or talking about my future.
My self-esteem is not affecting my life that much. Most people see me as a very confident and happy person, but it is effecting my relationship sometimes...

ShaunaM95 · Accepted Answer

I'm completely happy and confident with the person I am and don't feel the need for approval from anybody so that could be high self esteem?
I think you can control your self esteem to an extent. A lot of it has to do with mentality and how you view yourself. If you constantly bring yourself down, then your self esteem is going to be low. If you focus on the positive aspects of you then your self esteem can be increased!
I think my self esteem is the way it is because of my mentality and my experiences in life. I've done so much alone (going abroad, living on my own, working away from home etc.) which heightened my self esteem and made me much happier and independent.
Advice I'd give someone with low self esteem is to focus on your great aspects and build yourself up. Surround yourself with people who bring you up rather than down and do things that make you step outside of your comfort zone. It will make you confident as a person and happier!

animelover14 · Accepted Answer

I would describe my own self-esteem as low and I'm not proud of it. I think I can control it to some extent but it depends on the situation and the people around me. My self-esteem is the way it is due to being hurt by certain people in my life and being berated by a certain family member who still lives with to this day. There are other reasons but I won't go into that.

I would say I'm neutral to not satisfied living the way I am. My advice to someone who is suffering from esteem issues is to not depend on positive validation from others. It won't help you if you don't believe them. You have to learn to love and accept yourself. It's hard, I know but not impossible. You don't have to do this alone though. You can seek support from others on how to raise your self-esteem and have a better self-image of yourself.

blueguy932000 · Accepted Answer

My self esteem fluctuates like my mood does, at times I feel pretty good about myself and moderately confident, other times I feel worthless and useless. I think a person can control their own self esteem about as much as they can control their own mood; thinking positively and staying busy can help, among other things, but sometimes it can be very difficult to control, due to depression or a another person doing/saying negative things or countless other possible influences. I think self esteem is very important, and honestly, I don't have very good control over my own, I have a love hate relationship with myself. The best advice I can give is this-you owe it to yourself as well as the people around you to love yourself... you won't be the best version of you with low self esteem, and everybody who relies on/cares about you shares in the consequences. It can be hard to deal with, I know, but you do matter and are important! And also, I find it best to avoid comparing yourself to other people; we are all different people with different responsibilities and different backstories-it's like comparing apples to oranges, and usually just leads to misconceived feelings of inadequacy-sucker punching an already aching self esteem.

I don't know if you're asking this question because you're going through something or strictly for informational purposes, but I hope you feel better and get the help and support you need (if you need it). I'm on your side:)

Being_a_good_Indian · Accepted Answer

Yeah I can control my self esteem.

I love myself as I am. It doesn't mean that I resist change in myself. I like to change if I think I should change for my development.

I was having very low self esteem and faced many problems due to it. Now due to motivational videos from which I got inspired rather than temporarily motivated.

One of the reasons is the advice given my professor to form habit of thanking others for even in small matter and have gratification journal about my experience.

I don't write in traditional way of diary but I write on Facebook (only me ) section and every day I read my experience of previous years sometime it is funny and sometime it is heart touching.

I am happy as I am living and working. Just keep on updating myself like software and keep on developing each moment.

I live my life as it is last day of my life and start my day as my new birth.

I feel that the movement from first breath of my life I started the journey to success and it will end till my last breath.

I believe in that saying about the love and would tell to everyone "Just love yourself as you are rather than thinking about others. What you think is more important than opinion about other"

Jaded5990 · Answer

I think people should love themselves and change the way that they see themselves. It is hard but I think it can be done (or be better) with changes or improvements to help them. I think i can control my self esteem to an extent, it fluctuates a lot. I tell myself that I'm really not as bad as I think, that helps a bit. I don't have any unusual stories, no I'm not happy the way that I am. I will always be unsatisfied and will always try to improve myself (including my appearance). I would tell someone with self esteem issues to change what they really don't like and look at themselves and their life and actually see the good in it and focus on that

ShortCircuit · Answer

My self esteem is good in the sense that I don't give a shit what anyone around me thinks of me. I don't concern myself with fitting other peoples' standards, it's my own standards that I don't measure up to.

I know I'm above average looking, I know I'm in incredibly good shape, I know I have talents, I know I'm of value, and I know other people see me that way too. However, I am simply just not my own ideal image.

Streamhopper · Answer

I'm comfortable with myself. It's taken a long time to get there, and many challenges along the way. But I'm happy with who I am. Because at the end of the day, when all we are is wrinkles and bones, we're left with our personality; which doesn't age the same way we do. Well, perhaps in some it does, but not in my case, lol.

AccentBox · Answer

I have really high self esteem and I am usually really laid back and don't stress that much and I think I think I developed my self esteem after I learned to ignore people and isolated myself but I started to just not care about what other people thought about me and just lived life care free. I'm very happy living my life now and some advice that I have is just live and try to ignore other people's opinions. "As you start to care less about what people think if you, you start to care more about what people think of themselves" - Stephen R. Covey

LemonadeProphet · Answer

My self esteem's so low that if you were to measure it, it would come up as a negative number 👌.

Can I control it? Not really, sometimes I experience temporary ego boosts but that never lasts long.

Am I happy? Meh could be better, I just accept it.

Advice? Dunno, all I have is cheesy shit like: Love yourself, let yourself be loved. You never know what you're really capable of if you don't try. Everyone's a success waiting to happen, but only you can decide whether that happens.

jacktheman93 · Answer

my advice to give is to stay away from Instagram and other related apps it's mostly fake ladies have so much make up it's shallow and mindless it will make you try to compare yourself with other people who spend 90% of their day finding the perfect lighting to take a pic of themselves

karahiri · Answer

It's... hmmm. I don't know. Only me and my family can make me feel bad. Other peoples' negative comments don't really phase me. I generally don't get negative comments anyways, i don't do confrontational stuff.

Nikki_95 · Answer

I have horrible self esteem. I have body dysphormia disorder. And sometimes when I see myself in the mirror or feel bloated I'll have a full blown panick attack. It's not the best feeling in the world. I don't feel attractive at all even though I'm very skinny. I feel like I'm just ugly

Tammy94 · Answer

I have very low self-esteem. It is probably linked to my clinical depression. Antidepressants may have helped with the depression in general but they haven't helped my self-esteem.

martyfellow · Answer

Self esteem has rocketed up and down lately. Some things were carried out deliberately to damage my self esteem... so now it's ow overall. GEt e mail making fun of me and the like often.

qdoek · Answer

I'm confident with the person I am and generally don't care about what others think about me. I have experienced too much crap to give a single fuck about what anybody says about me

GetMeBleach · Answer

I really don't like myself very much.. Mainly because of other people bringing me down all the time..

Dingsbums · Answer

My self esteem is okay I think I can control my selfesteem

Nahid1234 · Answer

My self esteem is Low but i am working on my own confidence to feel better about myself ☺️💕

Anonymous · Answer

i dont have much self esteem. i have anxiety. people constantly tell me i need more self esteem because i have talents they say.

mryoungbuck · Answer

look up the song, no self esteem by the offspring

RedThread · Answer

It's decent but it could be better.

VerbalWN · Answer

Cocky with a bit of asshole

Kataclyst · Answer

Surprisingly its just fine.

Cody01 · Answer

Godly

apple24 · Answer

FUCK U.

awesometjgreen · Answer

a turtle 🐢

WeirdoWerdo · Answer

non-existence

LastNightmare · Answer

I'm selfless

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