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Why is it unacceptable for guys to have standards? (Page 4)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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In the end, it's not right for anyone to be unfairly judgmental. However standards are okay. If you prefer a certain shape or personality, that's all you. But if you didn't put any effort into letting her know it bothered you a bit and just abruptly ended it, then yeah it's a bit out of order.
It's okay man I get it, this stuff isn't easy but it's who we are. If she's not the person you started with, then yeah it is what it is. Hope this helped, best of luck man.
Standards are good for anyone. Just don't marry someone and then expect to hold them to your fitness standard after the fact. Find your equal before getting serious so that you don't hurt people who can't live up to your expectation.
equality! you know 🤣
ok seriously, ad1
the standards we have differs from theirs. they look for hot body and great resources and prestige. we look for hot body and youth. most think if they earn good or have higher status that would mean aaaanything... eg. that they can eat and lay. and act like a btch. maybe want to settle down at 60. couldnt be further from the truth.
ad2 the fact that your not attracted to a full blown landwhale MUST BE a byproduct of the horrible patriarchy. 🤣 no chance its coming from 20million years of evolution OR godforbid by the capability to see and feel.
dont mind it. if accused: improvise, adapt, overcome 😁
The girls who rejected ur friends for that r jerks, just cause some girls (or guys) are jerks doesn't mean u should be, she probably already feels terrible about her wait u could of just said u werent interested anymore
Then she'll blind herself to the truth and never improve herself for the better
@MusicMayhem she's not gonna b bline, people who are fat or bline or whatever know what they are, its not like changing ur clothes or soemthing it can be really hard to lose weight and all ur doing is making her feel like u only care avout how she looks not for whonshe is
By telling her she'll realise more that her weight is turning guys off which she can then use for motivation to lose weight.
@MusicMayhem thats not how it works when people emotionally eat bc they feel bad making them feel worse makes them eat more not less and thats really shitty to expect her to feel like she should jar to revolve her life around looking good for guys
Well it's ultimately up to her. She has the power to change for the better or stay and get guys lose interest.
Dude, she won't change that way. You should have helped her out by making it habitual for her to eat less and at least join you for morning walks , exercise and evening walks. You should have taken responsibilities and accompanied her. Your ego won't work.
I agree with candy cane, I genuinely don't understand why that guy turned his breakup into a gender issue, not every guy is like him, I just asked my boyfriend if he will dump for getting fat after having children, he laughed at me and said no. I told him about this question, he told me that the guy only loved the girl's body not the girl.
Well... you chose her as a GIRLFRIEND. As in, very temporary, when the going gets tough—you just go👀
Are you a monster? No. You just have no business in a long term relationship and there is nothing wrong with that.
I can't see why it would be a problem. I don't care whether someone isn't into me cause I'm too short, too pale, cause they want F+ boobs, a bimbo type or anything. If you're not into me, you're just not for me. Tbh, I happen to love blue/green eyes, blonde hair, pale skin and the short/athletic kinda men. So I have criteria. People can judge me for that. But you know what? It's not my problem. I feel good being true to my real self and not trying to live up to people's expectations.
we mgtows (and thanks for bringing us up) have a saying that goes
"getting married for sex is like buying a first class ticket just for peanuts"
or something like that. now think about how many airlines would lose money and possibly go bankrupt if we men all decided to have standards and refuse to waste all of our money on cheap peanuts.
Fuck that. If you can't picture yourself asking her out on a date in her current physical and mental state, why would you continue dating her? Standards are there for a reason. If she dips below them because of laziness or whatever, you're well within reason to dip the fuck out.
Because you made her fat.
She wasn't fat when she wasn't with you
Are we missing a part saying he forced her to eat junk food and not to do any exercise?
Nope it's a fair point. I'd do the same if I gave her multiple chances. I guess the key thing is how did you break it off. Did you just say "ew get yo Tess Holiday looking arse out of my life" or did you say that "I don't want to leave you but this, it hurts me that you don't care how I feel and I don't want to see you eat yourself into an early grave" that's why I said to my ex and she tried because she was a little more apologetic than yours seems to be.
It is cool to have standards. You SHOULD have standards as a man.
BUT leaving her for gaining weight is nothing to do with you have standards or not. You didn't love her. So you left her. End of Story. If you love her you accept not everyone is like yourself, so yeah you just want a barbie next to you. The problem here that you try to look for excuses (i have standards) why you left her. You dont want people bullshiting you about things yet you do the same.
I've never knew it was unacceptable. I have many standards but it's not for selfish reasons. If I can't spiritually grow with a woman, then I won't continue with her no matter what she looks like and I won't concede and give in to peer pressure to try making it work out. My relationships are my own, not up for debate with how others feel they ought to go.
Where did you get that BS from?
If someone doesn't like your standards, then tell them to go fuck themselves because they're not fucking you. lol.
I think why people get butt hurt is because chicks get fat for lots of reasons like pregnancy, which is a temporary fat gain really, but her reasons were not good enough.
Because people expect men to f#ck whatever cow he sees. And women got really sensitive. And honestly. Im disgusted by this Fat acceptance movement
No acceptable = No love
Acceptance*
If health and fitness are important to you, that is perfectly fair, and you sure don't seem to be hypocritical about it.
You can have whatever standards you want, no-one is owed your affections or your time.
It's up to you to decide what you want in a mate.
I think its only rude if you didn't tell/warn her. If I were you i would say "hey you should work on yourself a bit more often, we could go to the gym together." You can say it to her in a way that isn't rude. Explaining that you prefer her sexually when she is thinner etc. If she doesn't stop i'd have a harsher talk with her.
I'm not gonna blame you for this I've seen women break up with men because of loosing their job, penis size, muscle mass, height and a bunch of other things.
I personally wouldn't break up with my girlfriend if she gained weight but then again her and I are a special case. Funilly enough we joke around that if I had a tiny penis she says"for you I'd put up with it" and we just laugh.
To each their own. I think it is okay for anybody to have standards. However some people let the opinions of others effect them and their lives. At the end, you are the only one being effected by the decisions you make. Don't let anybody make decisions for you in which they will not be effected by the outcome.
If she doesn't put in the effort to keep you, let her put in the effort to find someone new. Women love to say "if you really loved her..." but what about "if she really loved you?"
Seems that a lot of people use love as an excuse to quit trying. If you want to accept that the more you love someone, the less effort they're gonna put in, then go for it. Just understand what comes with that territory.
That’s not having standards. That’s just not genuinely loving it acting for a person. Doesn’t sound like you were bothered enough to look for more of a solution first. And NO, I would not ditch my guy if he lost his job. Not everyone is so narcissistic.
*loving and caring for a person*
I’d give someone fair warning, warn them about the negative affects on their health and future children, encourage and support them to get healthy with me or on their own if they preferred. Then, if they refused to even try that’s fair enough. But you need to try and address the root cause of why trustee in that situation to begin with. That’s what people who care for each other do.