I think 2 chances are enough, if they do the same thing twice it's basically a choice. Excuses become pointless because it is clearly they don't plan changing anything, but they use them to give you the false impression they will do something about it.
How many chances would you give someone who wronged you?
Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me
^ popular nursery rhyme
Anyone can make a mistake. But the problem comes with not learning or, in some cases, not wanting to learn from your mistake - and that's why the mistake happens again.
For the majority of cases, I use the rule of three. First time? Okay, don't worry. Second time? Passes this time, don't do it again. Third time? It's over.
Well, making inappropriate/offensive remarks, behaving inappropriately, slipping up with some behaviors.
I've dealt with people with addictions, and the max number of slip-ups I learned to allow was two. It happens to everyone to slip up, so that should be understood. But the third time just shows that the person is not going to change, so I quit wasting time and effort on that.
Cases I don't apply this rule, is cheating, or severely betraying my trust in any way. I gjve people my full and whole trust, without any jealousy or string attached. But once it's broken, it's over without even talking about it.
I would give two chances. I believe that everybody can make things right. And if somebody makes a mistakes they know about it. so when they do it twice. I can't anymore. im an understanding person. but there is only so much i can take. THe first time it is an accident, the second it s on purpose.
Just ended a second relationship with a guy I had a bad fling with two years ago. I had lost sight of the reasons he was not good for me and was reminded of how toxic the relationship really was only when we got together this second time. I'm starting to lose sight again a little bit and deep down I know I still love him but I'm never giving him a third chance.
Depends on what they did. If they cheated on me they get ZERO second chances. As the saying goes, if you cheat on me once, shame on you. If you are given a 2nd chance and cheat on me again, then shame on me for trusting you again.
Generally, no chance. But, I have to admit, it depends on the offense.
I say generally no chance because I'm all about moving on and not keeping negativity in my life. I have to care for myself and look out for my well being, so giving someone another chance would only hinder my progress.
I would give them just one more chance. Two is too much for someone who deceived me. I had many people hurting me, so I learned from my mistakes and one of them was giving too many chances.
You know the whole “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.” I think two chances is pushing it. As for me I have trust issues but also easily talked into giving more chances.
I wronged once, one more chance. Then they know what to do and not to do, any further offense and they've made their own bed. I don't take any crap from people.
Zero... Whatever impression of themselves on how I see them would be imprinted and I can't simply tell my brain to switch that off.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
depends on the mistake. if its some fucked up shit like cheating, then its enough for it to happen only once to make me delete that person from my life entirely and never speak to them
Life doesn't follow that logic. You can know something is wrong, at least by your morality, but then in a moment of anger, you make the choice to ignore it. Regardless of whether or not it's a mistake, it's always a choice. But I get what you are trying to say.
well, basically if you would give them 0 chances then you would never know them lol. the first chance is when you build your relationship the first time.
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