Would you let your son or daughter date interracially?

Question

I don't date interracially, so therefore I would not condone that type of behavior.

So how do you feel about interracial dating, and what is your race?

I'm white, and if my kids started to date outside of the race..basically I would be very very angry. yes that would be how you kill me.

beemad · Accepted Answer

would you rather you kids up with someone who didn't treat them right or someone who was worthy of their love and treated them with honor and respect? I'm biracial I would let my kids date whatever race they chose. what matters is how someone is going to treat them. once they grow up they are out of my hands and it would give me a piece of mind knowing that someone cares for them and loves them as much as I do. why would I want to limit their chance at potential happiness? in this day and age people barely stay married for 5 years before getting a divorce so much havoc is caused on the psyche and if their are children involved it makes it that much worse. I've watched my friends and their families go through this some of them have tried their hands as love and marriage and will never marry again yet they end up having kids this is the new trend no more "blended families" everyone has multiple half siblings and sometimes this is damaging to the kids. it's heartbreaking. I wouldn't want my kids to go through that just because I didn't want the to marry someone because of the color of their skin. their are so many other things to worry about when it comes to falling in love. why narrow the field? some people never leave their small towns that would mean that they would be forced to choose from a handful of people who probably wouldn't be able to love my children the way they deserve to be loved and my children would end up being just another person who stopped trying to find the right person for them and just settled on someone who could potentially hurt them.

that would kill me! not dating outside their race.

plus if you try to control who they love they'll just end up rejecting you. people can't control who they fall in love with and 9 times out of 10 if a loved one interferes with it's the loved one that gets left out of their life not the boyfriend or girlfriend.

having my children kick me out of their lives and hate me for not accepting a person into their lives who is decent and kind

that would kill me not dating outside of their race.

you seem to be willing to risk losing the most important thing in your life because of the color of someones skin (something that can't be controlled) think about it logically. you love those little babies you raise them and you want nothing but the best for them the best part is watching them grow up and because wonderful human beings and watching them achieve their life goals and that something you are going to want to be apart of!

i know I can't change your mind on this rarely can an outsider do such a thing but you should seriously be prepared to the inevitable battle and realize what's at stake. I like to believe that people are inherently good so I assume you really truly love your kids unconditionally and I suspect that if one were to ever truly want to marry someone outside of their race and start a family that they'd be able to change your mind. just be prepared even if it never happens, be prepared.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

lol well, I think you're ignorant and racist based on what I've read on this page, but hey that never stopped anyone before, so just do what you feel is right. I'm black and I'm sorry we disgust you so much, really, I apologize. Our bad. If it comforts you at all, most black women and white men don't date each other anyway, so you probably won't have to worry about that. there's twice the chance for a black guy to date a white girl though, so that's more of a possibility, even though interracial couples are still very taboo in many places in america. depends on where you live, how they are raised, their own personal feelings, etc.

I'm not going to lie, I think a lot more white people are like you than would admit to it.

As to your question about my personal preferences for how my children conduct their own love lives: I don't care what race the person they choose to date is. Although it is a definite part of identity, culture, politics, etc. I don't believe in race. It's only a social construct to group people together, and a flawed and incomplete one at that, and I just don't see it as important in terms of who my kid dates. Just because I may not prefer to date the person, doesn't mean my child wont. What I value in their partners is intelligence, similar values, respect, honesty, and care. I want them to find love and happiness in any sexuality, race, ethnicity, etc. that they find fulfills them most. Racism isn't something that I would condone or encourage in my children. Some people feel differently though. I don't think rationality, logic, or even a thorough look at humanity are ever going to completely stop ignorant people from producing more ignorant children to stain society even further. We make definite improvements but there will always be those who refuse to let go of what they believe or the way things once were, for better or for worse. I believe in freedom to think and say what you want, and to raise your children how you see fit (within reason), but I can only feel bad for them. Hopefully they get a more intelligent, more empathetic and understanding mentor along the line to impart some knowledge, or that they are the sort of children who don't easily swallow everything their parents spit out and understand that mom and dad are not always right.

jrose · Accepted Answer

I don't have kids yet, so this is coming from a hypothetical point of view, but as long as my kids bring home people who respect them, treat them well, are hard-working and generally good people I couldn't care less what their race is. I'll confess something (not sure if this is PC but it's over rated anyway lol, seriously though I mean no offence)- I think inter-racial children are really beautiful a lot of the time. It's not to say full blood children of a specific race aren't beautiful, I just think that sometimes you get the best features of both races in inter-racial children.

Now, I know that race can be a kind of sexual preference for people, which is all right I suppose- attraction is important. But I disagree completely with forcing your children to share them, especially when it seems like the only reason you wouldn't date a black/latin/asian person is because you don't like their racial difference. That's teaching your children to be racist and it's really pretty ridiculous when you think about it. You would rather your daughter date the worst white man in the world (abusive, criminal, drug addict etc.) than a respectable man of another race? That's CRAZY!

AlanPA · Accepted Answer

I think your choice of the word "condone" is interesting.

Unfortunately for the parent(s)...it really isn't their decision to condone and rarely anymore do parents get to be in such a position.

I think it's more "accept happily" or "accept unhappily", not "condone".

If you decide to "accept unhappily" the question then becomes, what to do about it...You've already made one comment about that, "that would be how you kill me".

Again, I think the words here should instead be, "that might be why I kill myself". Your child isn't saying, "Mom, I'm dating a black guy and now I'm going to kill you". Instead, your child is saying, "Mom, I'm dating a black guy". You can then choose to kill yourself.

I am white and for me this is only a hypothetical question because I have no kids. I can tell you that my parents do not care about the racial background of anyone I date. I see no purpose in judging someone based on the racial background they were born into rather than the individual they are. If I did, not only would that devalue them as a person, it would also devalue me as a person because I wouldn't be able to get through superficial things (like skin) to make a judgement on an individual.

If your son or daughter is dating a black person (which is hypothetical for you too since you're under 24)...I'd suggest trying to make a different choice - rather than anger,try different approach...meet the person, talk to them, and do an activity with them. If you get to know them on a personal level (rather than as that person of another race)...you might find out they're a great individual and you can't believe you were willing to dismiss them so quickly...or...you might find out they're awful as an individual, but at least you'd have a much better idea of who they are and why they're awful.

I hope this was helpful.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I would be both disgusted and ashamed of my daughter if she brought home a man who wasn't Latin or White.

Butterfly_kisses09 · Answer

"that type of behavior"? WTF? It's not like they would be dating an alien. It's another human being. And as long as they love each other then race shouldn't matter. Yes I'm white and dating a black guy so I guess I'm biased. It just makes me sick to hear what closed minded people like you say about dating interracially.

So here's a scenerio for you: would you rather your daughter NOT be with a black man that treats her with respect, loves her, and gives her his all just because he's black and instead for your daughter to date a white man that treats her like sh*t just because he's white? I mean seriously, I don't think I'll ever understand how people like you think. You would be worried for her health and safety? WTF? If he's a good man regardless of race then I doubt her safety would be in jeapardy.

Plenty of white guys are douchebags and assholes. It depends on the person, NOT his/her race. It's ridiculous to think that character is based on race because ITS NOT! Character is based on the person and as long as a man shares the sane values and morals as I do then I'll date him regardless of his race.

obriensg1 · Answer

I'm a 23 year old white guy and I don't often find myself attracted to other races, but I have no problem with interracial dating. Hispanic women can be hot. I don't mean like crazy superstar model Hispanics, just your average gal working next to you at the store. I have been attracted to a couple Asian women in my lifetime, more the Lucy Liu type. Black women I'm picky over an attraction too. I can be friends with anybody, no matter the race but a lot of black women sometimes delve too much into a stereotype of "I'm black, uh HUH!" or "Did you hear what so-and-so did? I ain't playing, that was..." Hate that. People are smarter than that. I'm also not keen on frizzy hairstyles with most women so I would say a black woman I would be attracted to would be smart and act normally and talk normally. Marsha Thomason (who I met once. Lovely lady) and Gabrielle Union would be examples.

So yeah I don't think its racist to only find attraction in your own race a lot, but it is to be upset that your children date interacially. Wake up, and tell your brain its time to travel ahead in time about 50 years

LeeGurl1994 · Answer

To me color isn't and issue. I am black and proud of that fact, but I will date whoever I decide is the best for me whether he be black, white, asian, or hispanic and I intend to encourage my children to do the same; I want them to be happy no matter what their partners color is, and the same goes for religion!

And being black, I must say I'm a bit dissapointed at all the people downing us for the color of our skin. :( I know of many black men who are just as respectful, loving, and knowledgeable as a white man. It's not like we're breeding dogs here, we're all equal people. Just because a person is white, doesn't automatically make them better or give them better options.

And this question is for all the white people here bashing african americans: Would you rather your daughter marry a white man who verbally and physically abuses her constantly and has no respect for her, or would you prefer the hardworking black man who has solid values, a steady income, and does nothing but care for her? This is just something to consider, but please allow your children to make their own decisions. Our differences should bring use closer together rather than set us apart and we all have the same opportunities.

I wish we all could just stop looking at our differences and learn from each other; I'm sure if we did that our country would be a lot better than it is now.

I mean come on, wheres the love? D:

Blink_Again · Answer

See I hold nothing against any race but I personally wouldn't date out of my race. Its not because there are a lack of hot guys in that race or that another colored skin is unattractive. Simply because its the kids that suffer, the children that are the result of such couples. The children of the interracial couple suffer terribly. I went to a VERY diverse school, I was one of 5 'white' people in the school.  I watched as the Chinese and Japanese picked on the muhung (sp?) I watched as half black or white kids got teased endlessly by the all black kids. I watch the half Chinese half Japanese kids get teased! That's just in school! Then you have the families that are close minded an will invite the mother or father to a family gathering only to 'mention' they shouldn't bring the kids or the hubby. If people were less racist it would be different but there are still too many racist people out there and that's not fair to the kids. I can't help who I fall in love with so I just don't date interracially.

anonymous1422 · Answer

I will not stoop to your level of rudeness by insulting you with name calling. Love is so much more important than the color of skin.

What if they were white but Jewish? Would you be okay with that. I believe that you should but if the answer is no- then you are proving that it doesn't matter what you look like- it is the insides that count. The white Jew looks EXACTLY like a Christian but you would not be okay with it because of the difference in VALUES. The values of a white person and a person of any other race could be exactly the same. It is JUST looks that differentiates different races.

The second leap to get over is that even with different values a relationship is possible if based on love- but I must confess that dating outside of my religion would not be my preference because I would like to have a home with one religion. It could set up fights in the future- BUT if I found somebody from a different religion who we could get passed this barrier together I would certainly be with him.

This is just my preference though and if my future daughter found a nice man who I liked I would not even bat an eye if she chose a man of a different religion or race. Heck she can choose a woman of a different religion or race.

Phoma21 · Answer

race is just the color of your skin that's all. I'm african american and I personally don't like the look of white guys, just a personal thing but if one of my children fell for a white person, Id have no problem letting them do what they want, my parents raised me to be accepting of all people and relationships follow that same rule. I think everyone has their potential levels, The cultures are just different (referring to black and whites) but if I was white and my daughter wanted to date a black boy who meets the definition of the and word(trying not to be offensive) id definitely have a problem with it, but if it was a black guy who was definitely going somewhere in life id be all for her dating him. For me it is more of a matter of personality and behavior not just race. because race can only dictate so much about a person's future.

Im not going to call names like you being racist but you do seem to be very biased about african americans. I'm just wondering, why don't you want your children dating a person of a different race, even if he was just as good or better than a man they could find in their own race?

I know for a fact that sometimes when racist people meet the right people, they can make exceptions. I have several white friends who's parents are racist and their parents love me. One of my friends father likes me because he thinks that I'm a good influence and am going to make somtehing of myself in this life. (im an honor roll student who's never made a C on a report card and plan to go to college to major in business management)

Would you ever give your child's partner a chance if they were of a different race? at all?

green1991 · Answer

WOWOWOWOWOOW> you guys. I'm white. and? where is the love. I thought everyone was equal.

you say no other race but your own? then you say well especially black people.

im ashamed that people still hold this view. sure there are thugggg stereotypes.

guess whatt there are WHITE TRASH NO GOOD PATHETIC LOSERS as well.

I mean I'm white. I appreciate all kinds of races. I date black guys, I've dated an Indian guy. its CULTURE bottom line. Its different, its interesting.

to have the AUDACITY to THINK that the color on your skin makes you superior is disgusting. and I have no respect for such people. close minded no good smug waste of a person.

and to DENY your daughter to be with who she chooses based on true compassion or interest or adoration or attraction for another human being that MIGHT be another race is pathetic.

This is the 21st century. Times have changed grandma and grandpa.

And the fact that you disapprove so will only encourage her desire for someone different anyway. your daughter isn't you. she's the next generation. park your wagon and buy a damn car. bitch.

dee_bee · Answer

Wow really? You would be sincerely unhappy that your child dated someone who wasn't your skin color? Do you realize that all of us came from ONE race? It was pigmentation and where we lived that developed into "different races". But that is shocking to hear because as humans we ALL bleed one one color RED! so if you are ashamed of your child then there is not one sane reason you should bring a child into this world if you are going to instill inhuman like characteristics upon him/her.

Let me just say, I am a mixed child..I have Jamaican and Asian in me..both of my parent were born Jamaican but it is their parents that have mixed together to create a beautiful family. I don't mind dating outside my race, in fact I embrace it. I will never stoop so low as to tell my kids that they are not "allowed" to date White, Black., Hispanic, Native American whoever...

My parents would "prefer" that I date someone of my culture but they will love that person no matter what color they are because at the end of the day, that person bleeds one color RED!

Anonymous · Answer

OK technically I'm mixed but I consider myself black. I wouldn't like it if my son dated outside his race and he better not bring home a white girl. My daughter can date a guy who is mixed race or black and certain latinos. I'm making that exception because finding a decent black guy in my generation is hard enough, when I finally have kids it will probably be really difficult for my daughter so as long as he has black in his bloodline he's good with me.

If they brought home a white person I would not approve at all. We already have enough slave owner DNA in our bloodline, so that's enough. I feel like black people who don't date inside their race are sellouts with no pride. I'm not racist, they can be friends all they want, I don't care who my son has sex with but when it comes to bringing them home to meet me yes they better be black. If my kids did go against my wishes I guess I'd get over it in time but that wouldn't be what I prefer.

I know that a lot of white people feel that way but it is considered socially unacceptable for them to say it publicly. The thing is, most people in all races feel that way, we just don't feel the need to publicly proclaim it. What for? Who my future kids date is not up for public discussion so why would I need to justify it to anyone? If I don't like it then I don't like it, get mad if you want.

Anonymous · Answer

its hard to answer because I've liked a guy not of my race and I liked him so much I wanted to marry him and have kids with him...it was deep but he couldn't marry me because of his family so he broke my heart

and if my son or daughter really loved someone not of their race id want them to be with their true love. there are rules though and I feel like for an interracial marriage to work the families have t have a similar culture and modern point of view regarding religion...if one is more extreme than the other, or if the culture has nothing in common theyre so off and you can't celebrate each others holidays properly then there's going to be fights and issues and the marriage won't work.

it all depends on how modern you are in my perspective. and how well your lifestyles match. I felt like it could have worked with the guy I like because we were different religions but our culture was the same, same food language music customs, etc

also interracial dating is interesting because sometimes well like someone for their personality but we want our kids to have the same features as us or have a taste for certain features, as biology would describe choosing a good mate for your genes, and sometimes when the two races are so different in terms of looks, it becomes harder to be attracted to that person because you innately want to pass good genes onto your offspring...its just a thought I don't think people should get offended that their race isn't liked by someone, it all varies and people have different tastes of what's attractive to them and not

RedThread78 · Answer

You DO know that race is a social construct right? It is something that was made up to categorize people. We are all products of our environment and that's it.

Also on a side note, I have family members like you and when their parents didn't condone interracial dating they actually did it more out of rebeliion. The more you tighten your fist the faster a person will slip through your fingers.

Also I noticed you mentioned something about "white pride" what about human pride? Labels are the reason there is so much hatred in the world. We survive by pulling together not by seperation.

I think all forms of racial pride and nationalism divides people the sooner we put race behind us the better off humanity will be.

katiesmuff · Answer

Well I am white and date interracially. In fact I have a 6 year old daughter who's father is black. I will always incourage her to go with her heart and feelings whether her choice be white, black, aisian, or a green person from Mars! Color and race have so very little to do with what a person really is and I personally think it is a shame that so many, whites especially resent and oppose interracial relationships. I hopefully soon will be pregnant once again with the father being black. I am very proud of my daughter and look forward to having a brother or sister that I will be just as proud of.

For those of you who might wonder about the effects on the children, well Alexis is very secure with her life, has very good friends of most every race, does great in school and has never had a problem with any of her friends or kids from school etc making an issue of race with her.

themastaplan · Answer

i just want to post again...that I hope you die a long, suffering death...racism is still alive because of people like you, there is no difference between white and black besides the color of their skin...people are the way they are because of their parents and the culture they grew up in, NOT their skin color...

so please, do us all a favor, DONT have kids, we don't need your blood running through anyone else's veins with the poision you'd be telling your children...here I'll even start the bus up, just make sure you step in front of me, you and your buddy "best answerer"

seriously tho, I'll even buy you the rope - send me your address, I'll make sure to put plan b in there (a shotgun) incase you want an easier way out of the hell you're living in and would put your children into...you stupid kunt

verdo · Answer

sad world lol. Your preference is your own. How dare you force your kids to like the same mindset though. It's one thing to encourage your kids to share the same moral codes and ethics that you have, but its a totally different thing to force your kids into mating with a specific gene pool. A persons skin color has no race, and scientifically speaking, there is no such thing as interracial dating within humans, because we are all once race of people. A persons skin color doesn't determine how loving they will be to you kids. What is love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. As you can see, race plays no role.

ZenSpace · Answer

wow, you need to get over that lady. The sooner you realize you have a problem, the sooner you can avoid traumatizing your kids. Seriously, you are gonna cause a lot of pain when they grow up if you have this attitude.

I am a white guy. I LOVE dating black girls. If I ever had kids I would extend them the same consideration.

"race" is imaginary. Its true the cultural barriers exist between people of different backgrounds, but so what? I would hope that in those point in our countries history we would have put racism behind us.

Slugworth99 · Answer

I have a son who is going on 14. I apply the same standards to any girl for him no matter what the race. She should take care of herself, dress appropriately, be a hard worker in school, be involved with a church, willing to meet us his parents, etc.

My son is white, and he has went towards girls of other races. Actually, right now, the girl that is totally sweet on him is a Latina. And I think she is the greatest thing ever. My wife, who is very protective of him, likes her too. She is nice to our son and is able to deal with him very well (he has Aspergers Syndrome of a mild to moderate degree). She doesn't judge him and sticks by him even on his bad AS days.

ItalianBro · Answer

If your parents told you to date a black man, would you? If they said that you had no choice, would you listen? Probably not, so really you have no say in your child preference in dating. Maybe when there 16 or 17 but once there an adult your probably going to have interracial grand children. However, since your going to be dead the second they start dating people from the other races, you probably won't get to see them. So rest assured.

I would let my children date interracially, I am attracted to some races more than others but I see no problem in my children dating which ever they are more attracted too.

MichaelL · Answer

Race doesn't mean anything anymore and its sad to see people who still think of it as an important issue. I will bestow great knowledge on my children which I hope will see them through generations to come. One being that racial division is a thing of the past and no matter what scientific explanation there is to why there are races or why races should stick to their own. All that really matters is finding the one that makes you happy and understands you, your passion, your heart, and soul. Narrow mindedness of race is just showing how scared or unwilling a person is to honestly be themselves and search with a blindfold for the one they truly want.

Phoenix1991 · Answer

Why would you be disappointed? why does another person loving another person for who they are and not because of their Ethnicity and background even matter? Love has no limits or boundaries,  it will go anywhere where two individuals desire to go. That is a little messed up in my opinion, I could careless personally, as long as that person isn't up to no good and try to harm my family then I don't really give a flying sh*t. Sorry but this is kind of ignorant , just my opinion.. =)

tyt_2012 · Answer

You sound like such an uptight bitch, it hurts my brain. So what if you don`t date interracially? I doubt the world is missing out on much to be quite frank with you. I`m Asian/White and yes, I would date any race. I don`t have a problem with people`s races unlike some. Haha then you need to grow up if that's all it takes to anger you. I wouldn`t mind my kids dating any race, we`re all hum at the end of the day, are we not? Stuck up bitch.

Would you let your son or daughter date interracially?

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