Do our standards really drop as we get older?

Question

SuccessfulHornDog · Accepted Answer

Standards change as we get older

When you're young you think that anything is possible and that you will achieve all that you set your mind to. As you experience life you learn that your expectations don't always materialize in the real world. Only an insane person wouldn't adjust to changing conditions.

Our physical appearance changes as we get older. Females peak much earlier than men. Some men don't finish maturing until their mid twenties. Highschool and college athletes get fat and lose some of their hair. Prom Queens put on weight and struggle to take it off for the rest of their lives. For others, their life starts later. These people are like late bloomers and ugly ducklings. All of a sudden the opposite sex is beating a path to their door. These people can raise their standards, if they ever really had any to begin with.

Geeks in high school finally graduate from college and become scientists, engineers and doctors. They find that all of a sudden they are interesting to the opposite sex. Females that swore that they would never have children are now finding that they are changing their minds and they are going to look into it. People that were never interested in a relationship are now realizing that they are alone and they are not as sought after as they were only a few short years before. The hottest (alpha) guys at 30 aren't always interested in the 30 year old women. They are more often interested in the 21 year old women who are younger, prettier and whose biological clock has a lot of time left on it.

from 18-24 - The top 35% of women run the show. They are the most desired and most sought after. The can do as they please.
from 25-30 the top 25% of women can act how they like
from 30 -35 the number starts to plummet to about 15%.
There will always be attractive women at every age level but what they can demand does not stay the same

Most women from 30+ are competing for a smaller group of guys who they wouldn't have considered before. The women who only care about sex will still be able to get it because men will be attracted to them. The women who want a relationship at this point and/or kids will have to be honest with themselves because they are now considered day-old baked goods. Many of these women end up choosing guys that they wouldn't have had sex with before. They are choosing these men to be their husbands and father of their children. These marriages are usually not the best.

Men are on a different trajectory than women
from 18-24 women have most of the control and power. 10% of men can do as they like at this age.
from 25-30 men complete their physical maturation and begin to hone their profession aptitudes. the number rises to 15% - 20%
from 30-35 men are the most sought after. Young girls find handsome successfully guys and lock it down to have a relationship and family. The men at this stage finally feel what it is like to be an 18 year old girl.
from 35-50 men stay in demand. They physically age better than women at these ages (on average) and the successful professionals keep rising through the corporate power structure, becoming even more sought after. An important note to reflect on at this point is that when men reach their peak they are not always looking for relationships or children (as they once were). Men whom observed beautiful young women eschewing committed relationships in order to enjoy a carnal buffet of uncommitted sex are going to say, Yes. I'll have what she is having.

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Are we talking about standards or expectations? Hopefully, the standards never drop. Unless we choose to be alone, our expectations need to become more realistic. Are we looking for a provider of a lifestyle, or are we looking for a special deep emotional connection. Most people who think they can have both are sadly disappointed. As we get older societal beauty standards, and what we find pleasing and desirable change. That doesn't mean we seek out ugly people as we age, but we realize there are so many other important aspects of a relationship. As long as people take decent care of themselves, they can continue to be attractive to others. Cosmetic surgery to stay young is more for the person having the surgery than any partner or potential partner. No one expects a senior citizen to look like a teenager, and no senior citizen expects to have a deep, quality, meaningful romantic love connection with a teenager.

We're not settling as we age, but we see the bigger picture and prioritize what is most important to us. Those who prioritize a lifestyle won't settle for less, and those who prioritize a quality connection won't settle for less. There's just less to choose from as we age, so many people do end up alone. People become more set in their ways, so it becomes harder to mesh with others. If you compromise your beliefs or values, just to be in a relationship, that relationship is doomed from the start. Be true to yourself, but never expect of another what you aren't readily bringing to the relationship.

Paolaa988 · Accepted Answer

Sometimes we tend to feel that way and wonder because of life experiences but i think we should keep our standards and stay true to ourselves at the end of the day. Societies standards is ones we should stop trying to please because people are gonna be rude and judge anyways. I stopped doing that a while ago because i learned that i dont need to please people to be happy as long as i stay true to me and am confident with myself i dont need to prove it to anyone 😊❤

AshleyTaylorDanny · Accepted Answer

Don't ever drop your standards hun. You deserve whatever you want!!

BCRanger10 · Answer

Which standards are you talking about?

If anything, I'd hope they become more realistic and more well-formed. We become more aware of the weaknesses and faults in human character and we see the bigger picture of how things operate. Simple assumptions become less simple.

So our standards don't necessarily disappear. Not all of them at least. They just become more mature.

Again though, at least I'd hope so.

Andres77 · Answer

Honestly, it depends on where you started. Standard are relative.

When I was younger I had very low standards. bi was dealing with some personal trauma and started to use sex as a crutch which led to sex addiction for years. After admitting to the problem and getting help my standards went way up. Plus I wouldn't tolerate any more bs.

I have a friend who had exceedingly high standards and no one ever measured up. Then he lowered the bar out of frustration and in a moment of weakness and regret he married the psycho from hell and though he suffers daily he won't do anything to fix it because he's afraid he'll lose her.

JPrez · Answer

Probably. We have learned what we like and don’t like. We also don’t take ourselves as seriously so we seem to have relaxed our expectations of the opposite sex. Guy might say, at this age a woman doesn’t have to have tight skin and have everything stand out. A woman might say, I’m not as worried if the guy farts and burps and doesn’t dress sharp. Life’s too short to worry about all that stuff.

Anonymous · Answer

This is different for men and women.

Our standards go hand in hand with our own physical and social attractiveness unless we're narcissists.

For women, standards are at their peak in their early 20's when the women are most physically attractive. But they start to go down once she hits around 27 when she simply can't attract the same men she used to anymore.

For men, standards steadily grow until their mid 30s, when they are at their peak. Since women care about more than just looks and at 35 men are still physically attractive if they take care of themselves, just more maturely than at 25. And on top of that, tend to have their life together. And thus represent a whole package deal for women. So single men at 35 can afford to have significantly higher standards than at 25. But passed around 40 men have to start dropping their standards again as age catches up with them.

Zeus_66 · Answer

No, your standards didn't drop. You always wanted and expected the same thing. You probably just didn't put yourself in that situation and dated dudes that treated you like shit while you blew off nice guys.

Just saw a friendzone question from some dude. He ain't getting out of it with the girl he so wants to date. That is the guy you're finally willing to give a chance.

winterfox10 · Answer

Sometimes your standards drop; good ol' desperation rearing its ugly head. In general though, it's not that your standards drop, it's that you get better at identifying the things you actually want in a partner.

DrunkAss · Answer

From my standpoint, everyone who is younger just looks better. My standards didn't go down. My tastes expanded!

v851234 · Answer

I would argue yes.

As a young person, we feel we can get whatever we want.

As we grow older, perhaps a sense of time running out, or perhaps a sense of that our options are becoming more limited, we chip away at our standards and accept something we previously wouldent

RawIronhide · Answer

I think we become more understanding of people and see beautiful differently as we age. For example when I was younger io wouldn't dare think of dating someone over 30 they're old I told myself at 15 now that I'm 24 I've seen women in there late 40s who I've found very attractive, so you accommodate for those lessons now my dating range is anywhere between 22 and 40 maybe.

John_Galt · Answer

I don’t think they drop... they just change! people at different stages of life, value different things.

“When I was younger I valued looks more than personality. As I got older it became obvious to me that personality was much more important to me than looks. So In one way, yes my standards on looks went down... but my standards on personality went up. I wouldn’t really say that people have less standards as they get older. I would just say they change”.

GingerGuy · Answer

I don't like to think of them as "standards" but I do think we become less picky, but in a good way. I think we look at the person more and more completely as the person overall instead of maybe just focusing on looks for example. And maybe in some ways, our "standards" are higher for that reason?

Purple_Rose · Answer

I would say my standards have increased within these past five years. I've had bad experiences with men when I was younger and I don't want a repeat of any of that trauma. The type of guys I used to be attracted to, I wouldn't dare look their direction now.

MecheD · Answer

. Those who have it easier than others on a romantic basis they tend to lose the shallow aspect and start to focus on more permanent aspects about their partners they chose.

On the other hand I do believe those who have it rough in the essence of a romantic basis. Tend to lose standards to gain companionship.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

I wouldn't say standards drop, maybe it's more a realization, re-evaluation of the things that really matter in life, than the things you thought mattered.. Some people get that earlier in life, and some people don't get it till they're older

Anonymous · Answer

I think our “standards” adjust and become fine tuned and evolve as we get older. It’s not because they’re dropping because we’re getting older, but we’re starting to see the value of some things that we couldn’t see before and the other way around too. In other words, we’re maturing and that’s a good thing.

Wedimir · Answer

Man is a Stream! A stream in which changes are constantly occurring. the most important criterion is the accumulation of experience. It makes us look at things differently

DJB72 · Answer

Only if we let them. There's no reason to allow yourself to lower your standards.

hellacray · Answer

Not mine. Only reason it didn't drop is because my standards aren't that high to begin with.

Be in shape, don't smoke, and have no kids.

Those are my deal breakers. In terms of being compatible well that's what dating is for so we can get to know each other and see if we click.

ColHathi · Answer

I imagine they do for a lot of people, as they realize they've been putting silly requirements on who can be a potential partner.

I generally see standards as a really really bad thing. Obviously I'm not saying you should accept just anyone, but usually what people ask for is shallow or not really important for a relationship to work. People don't have an open mind when it comes to dating :/ Which just hurts everyone.

Gentlemanlover100 · Answer

Nope they don't. I still know what I like & what I don't like an I'm not ashamed to pass a woman up politely if she's not my type mentally or physically. As long as your not cruel or disrespectful to them its not wrong to stand firm on your standard's/tastes in what is attractive to us.

AmeerX · Answer

When I was in my teens I wanted things perfect. My parents too liked things to be great quality. But as I have grown older I forgive people for their mistakes and foolishness.
I think as we grow old we are more concerned with the time we have on earth

Charli7 · Answer

Fuck no! Never settle for less than you deserve! The dating pool may continue to get smaller, but your standards should not go down in order to be with someone. Hold out for what you want, even if it means solo nights cuddling with your dog:-)

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You are a post-wall female, you tell us what your standards are?

gandolph3 · Answer

i think they just broaden, as we age we get less narrow minded. example, think about your musical taste twenty years ago and how it has changed

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I think they get more well-defined as we get older. Most teenagers don't actually have standards beyond "don't tread on me", it takes some maturity to understand exactly what you expect from people, and what you offer in return.

ChrisWaters525 · Answer

I don't know if they drop, they just change. I'm attracted to older women now and I don't expect as, much out of relationships as I did when I was just starting out.

pajamasam · Answer

Standards dropping sounds harsher than it really is. Maybe its more along the lines of realizing somethings aren't as important as we thought they were as we age.

GoogleWasMyIdea · Answer

It depends on factors such as if you are pretty or not.

Anonymous · Answer

You tell me? I personally don't believe in age as a determining factor. When I see you, I don't see an old woman. I see a sexy woman with a juicy ass 👅 and a beautiful cleavage 😍

JennyFoxworth · Answer

We drop some dumb standards we have when we're young and add different more mature standards when we get older, at least that's for me 😂

iseekpinetrees · Answer

No most peoples standards grow with age. Most people become more aware of the world and whats realistically best for them.

JackSmy · Answer

@msclarem Dear Lady, please post an example, or two, so I know we might be feeling the same things!

normalice · Answer

Our priorities realign, drifting from the ideal to the practical. This isn't a drop so much as a reevaluation of what's most important.

dac91 · Answer

Yes and no
Yes I guess if we are at a low and feel desperate
I guess but we also have standards now that we didn't before
We won't stand for certain things we would before and aren't as childish I don't know

killerboots · Answer

Yes they do drop in terms of appearance. But in terms of everything else, they actually get higher in my opinion

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I think that standards rise (in their complexity) - but with advancing life experience we also get a better sense for compromises and flexibility.

Avicenna · Answer

I haven’t seen any evidence of that on either my part or anyone else‘s. I know better now to think I can fix a woman who has problems.

RHK36 · Answer

Maybe for some, for others standards might actually go up. I think they just change. My standards now aren't neccesarily lower, just different because I know what I want.

TonyV · Answer

O like to think of it as realizing what's more inportant, they get better not lower

Don-__-Don · Answer

It depends on the person. My standards have always been the same, I don't ever see them changing.

JKingOff · Answer

I would actually go as far to say that my standards get refined as I get older. Being 30 years old I now know that looks are not enough.

Massageman · Answer

Mine do, at least in the sense that when I do a project, I can no longer do it with the precision I could when I was younger.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

My standards are be a pleasant person, in the general ballpark of attractive as i am, and not a slut. Unfortunately thats so hard to find these days people call me unreasonable. Thats very sad.

scooogy · Answer

I rather have a feeling like people do develop standards as they get older. Like my ex, who used to have a new boyfriend every few months and got married after school.

Ripper_E · Answer

My standards have actually increased, but they aren't unrealistic.

SenseiSeptred · Answer

They don't so much drop, we try to be more forgiving for things that we might have done in the past, and to forgive other people.

_Troian_ · Answer

I don't think so, there are many MILFs I know around, as they getting older they seek more of that young meat lol

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Actually they tend to rise, the older you get the less trash you're willing to put with assuming you're smart and learned from your past mistakes.

GermanGuy87 · Answer

Your standards Should drop to match what you are.

FakeNIK · Answer

No just we start to get a clear vision on what we actually want..

AlexDeLarge · Answer

I don't know if our standards drop but I tend not too focus on trivial or shallow things like I used to

Anonymous · Answer

I think generally speaking women's standards drop with age while men's standards increase.

magiusX26 · Answer

not mine. mine get stricter

Tellme · Answer

I don’t necessarily think they do. But one maybe knows better what’s really important in a partner.

BeachLuvR97 · Answer

Change the word, "standards," with "unrealistic expectations." What do you think?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Mine have not. My standards are there for a reason. I have become less shallow, though.

dudeinohio · Answer

Mine have always been the same. No difference.

OddBeMe · Answer

No they just change. Less physical, more mental prob.

najekim · Answer

Our preferences change throughout life. It's called growing.

ChefPapiChulo · Answer

Beggars can’t be choosers

Do our standards really drop as we get older?

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