Should I help my boyfriend pay his house taxes?

[Nicole_awesome]

I was recently living into an apartment with my boyfriend but recently moved into my boyfriend’s house since both of his parents passed away and left him the house. I agree on paying half of the mortgage since that would be as if I were paying rent in my apartment. I want to get married to my boyfriend since we are planning on starting a family and since I believe that is the right thing to do but he does not want to get married. Should I help my boyfriend take on the responsibility and pay his house taxes such as municipal and school taxes even though we are not even married or should I just help pay the mortgage?

[nachosaresexy]

I think splitting the mortgage payment is more than fair for him. Since you're not married... if y'all split up at some point, the house is 100% his and he gets 100% of the appreciation/equity in the value of the house.

How long have y'all be dating?

[Nicole_awesome]

Exactly ! And that is why I find it unfair for me to have to pay half of the house taxes since it isn’t my house.. we have been together since we were 19 on and off until we were 24 years old. We have been an official couple living together since the age of 25 until now

[nachosaresexy]

Then yeah, I think splitting the mortgage payment 50/50 is more than fair. Maybe helping with standard utilities too, but home taxes seems unreasonable in my opinion.

[nachosaresexy]

Are home/property taxes pretty high in Canada?

[Nicole_awesome]

Yes pretty high. Especially for us since moving into his parents house was something that was totally not planned

[nachosaresexy]

Ah that makes sense. By the way, is he asking you to help with the house taxes or is this just something you're thinking about on your own?

[Nicole_awesome]

Yeah he sorta just mentioned that we would split it in half. And I was ok with that thinking that we would eventually get married making sense for me to help out with the house taxes but whenever I bring up the married topic he just gets silent

[nachosaresexy]

I'll admit that as a guy marriage is a scary idea. It's just such a massive commitment, so in a way it might be a good thing that he takes it so seriously, but he should obviously be able to communicate with you about the topic.

[nachosaresexy]

@Nicole_awesome I have a question on a different topic that I'm curious to get your opinion about. Would it be ok if I message you to try to explain?

[Nicole_awesome]

Yes of course. U can message me

[nachosaresexy]

@Nicole_awesome You have to give me a follow and then it'll let me message you

[Goforit1010]

Until you're married, just help pay the mortgage if you're living there. He has to pay the property taxes regardless if you're living there or not.

STRONG recommendation: Do not live with him until you ARE married.

STRONGER recommendation: NEVER... I mean not EVER get pregnant with ANYONE until you are married.

[alice55]

If he don't want to get married you shouldn't help him pay his taxes cause he doesn't see you as his long terms partner.

[Jabberjaw]

Not necessarily. He might just be against marriage. Like objectively men have zero positive motivations to get married passed appeasing his woman. He doesn't really gain anything.

But the woman gains a lot. So for a guy to not want marriage is pretty normal. There's a reason men are more weary of the marriage talk and girls are often the ones asking "what are we?"/"where is this going?"

[alice55]

@Jabberjaw Then why do so many men say they're against marriage and when they find a girl they love get married to her? They go around during years saying they don't want a child or get married but everything change when they meet the good one...
I've seen this happen so many time and tons of women are too stupid to realize this.

[Jabberjaw]

Men are pushed to get married from a young age. It's presented as the "right" thing to do as a man. If he gets his girl pregnant they say "are you going to make an honest women out of her?" (Get married)

Mother's ask their son when they're going to get married and bring her some grand babies. They always tie together having a family and marriage. Most men want kids (someday). Not most men want to get married.

As a society we've just connect the two things together. And there is a very strong social push for a man to get married, plus if you're with a good woman who let's be real 9 out of 10 times wants to get married. She will be pushing to get married for years.

In all seriousness. If a man was not raised from a young age that the right thing to do is find a good woman, marry her, and have kids... most men would not get married.

There's just a massive cultural push to do so alongside the woman constantly pushing for it aswell. And they try to say "don't you love me? Then marry me" "IF you REALLY love me, then marry me"

It's emotional manipulation to be honest. And a lot of men let those emotions over ride their thinking and other genuine concerns over getting married

[Dinklex3]

He's the owner of the house.
Not you.
I wouldn't. Tf.

[jshm2]

You're being taken for a ride in more ways than one, kiddo.

You should have a lawyer draft up an agreement for your portion of the equity. Right now you are eligible for nothing, if he boots you out tomorrow.

You are only a girlfriend, not a wife.

[Jabberjaw]

It's primarily his responsibility and he understands that. It would be nice of you to offer as his girlfriend to help but it's also not your responsibility and he'll likely take care of it.

[ohshee]

Well if you do it do you have to do it under the absorption that you never going to get the money back because the odds are you won't and if he was not to marry you that would kind of piss you off so it's up to you

[AviatorTom]

The monthly mortgage payment includes, in most places, PITI (principal, interest, taxes, insurance), which are kept in escrow and physically paid by the mortgage company. So, YES, you should help pay the house taxes.

[humanearth]

Thats on you,

But if was me. It would depend if I can afford to help, are we really going to be together in 40 years or even 60 years down the road.

Sometimes I would to be just generous

[Shamalien]

What did you pay for rent before you moved in? Give him at least half of that since he’s housing you

[Nicole_awesome]

I am giving more than what I used to pay for rent in our apartment but I find it unfair to help pay for his house taxes since we aren’t legally married and since in an apartment I wouldn’t have to pay taxes as such.

[Shamalien]

You should not be paying more than you were

[Anonymous]

That should be his responsibility.