Am I a monster?

[mattclark242]

Am I a monster? I am a guy but I done a lot of bad thing and I want to know if I was a monster? So one time I blame my dog for something it did not do. One time I could not save my dog from dying. One time I was playing with a cat and a dog came and kill it.

One time I got mad and cause my sister to get hit by my dad. One time I think I hit my sister and also my mom. One time I stalk a girl I had a crush on. well it was more than one time and I hit her car not on purpose. one time I hit the cable guy with a chair on purpose he try kill me which is fair. I was up sit at the time but still. I throw thing at work many time. Most of time case I feel like I suck and I do cause I am stress or want get fired from work.

I had sex with a sex worker many time and I lie to her 1 or 2 time and want to her home with out asking trying to make it up to her. This is what make me feel the most sick this why I feel like a monster. I think her ex boyfriend hit her and she may have a drinking problem. I know she need the money for her kids. I do not think she like her work and I can not help her get out. I do not want her to be a slave to me or anyone else and I do not like useing her. I did want use her. people say to stay away from her.

I been to jail 2 time now for trespassing. I crash my truck into a wall and my dads into a fence. I not had a stable jobs sine 2018 and that was my first job. I do not make money to take care of my self or other.

I think I am a monster. some people say that I am not but I do not know

I start out as a nice kinda shy guy then stuff happen and I do bad things.

Am I a monster?

[SteveSmith1985]

No, I don't think you're a monster. You may have made some mistakes, but you seem to want to be a good person. I think that counts for a lot.

I think that trying to do better is something that helps all of us become better people. I get the sense that you are someone who feels bad for some of the things you have done in your past. Monsters don't feel empathy for others, like the empathy you feel for your friend, the sex worker. You wish you could help her. That is not the way a monster thinks about others. A monster wouldn't care.

You cannot control what's in the past. You can control how you live every day going forward. Keep trying to get-in-touch with the good parts of who you are, and try and let those parts shine through so that's what other people see. If you try and do that every day... One day at a time... a day will come when you'll no longer have any of these feelings of being a monster.

I wish you all the best. 🙂