Can living on your own also make us less motivated to move in with a boyfriend?

[ChicanaChick]

Honestly there is absolutely nothing lacking, nothing that I need. I don't need his car either. I already got 2 vehicles.

I'm just not interested in moving in with a boyfriend and I don't want to share my house with him either. I got it all in my own place. I've noticed that in some stories of women moving in with their bfs is because they don't have their own place. Once they break-up, the guy can kick them out since it's his house and nothing was under her name.

Can having my own place (and living a comfortable life, nothing lacking) also be part of the reason there is no motivation to move in with a boyfriend?

Updates

1 y

Besides obviously sex in a relationship, I can't think of anything a boyfriend can give me that I won't have in my own place. Cooking and cleaning for a boyfriend when I already do that for myself? Nope

[Sixgunsound]

Eventually you are going to get lonely for something casual sex can't give you. Whether you fight it off and go back to being selfishly single is up to you. If you are going to be a lifelong single person, you should contact social security to opt out of retirement benefits and Medicare, as these require children to be born into the tax system to perpetuate the ponzi scheme. I don't think those or other wealth redistribution at gunpoint (minus the politicians cut, of course) schemes should exist in the first place, but the moral thing to do if you aren't having kids is not steal from the rest of us.

[ChicanaChick]

See how it feels when some of us refuse to give you all the benefits of a LTR by moving in with you? I'm into children at this moment anyways but who knows I'll be into it in a year from now and the last thing I want is have my valuable time wasted.

Or maybe more of us are getting sick of tired of giving all our hearts, time and years to temporarily bfs? You men advice other men against us. Same thing with me and other girls. We're advicing them against wasting their time, their years for nothing into this so called worthless ''he's the love of my life, we've been living together for 8 years'' but wait he won't give her a family.

Anything wants to play checkmate with me... I'm steps ahead. Unlike other women, loveboming, sweet words (''Oh my love, one day we'll have a family), and getting showered with gifts ain't going to work on me. I'm not falling for it, not falling for BS. A couple of us are catching up to the games.

[ChicanaChick]

**I'm not into children at this moment anyways but who knows I'll be into it in a year from now and the last thing I want is have my valuable time wasted.

[ChicanaChick]

One more additional detail; when I'm single... I'm actually truly single and don't date, don't do nothing whatsoever with no one at all.

[Sixgunsound]

Who isn't moving in with me? "You men" is probably the most sexist thing I've heard today; if you expect to be treated as an individual then you need to treat men as individuals too. I'm not sure who is playing games with you, but it is not me, and I don't speak for or represent any other man but myself. I regularly say that women need to be more selective and demanding of the men they date, because nobody will put in more effort than the minimum a woman will accept. If you want a l9ng term relationship, set that as a condition before getting into a relationship. If marriage is the goal, set that as an expectation beforehand. If you aren't into drinking or drugs, set that as a condition beforehand. These things used to be common sense in our grandparents generation, but somewhere along the way women started accepting lower quality men, and men stopped having to work so hard for sex or live in girlfriends. I blame birth control for cheapening sex and dropping the value of women in the sexual marketplace. And when the value of women in the sexual marketplace goes down, men have to bring less to the relationship to get a woman. I say A instead of a specific woman because if you won't have sex someone else will, using cheap and readily available birth control. Men used to have to prove they could support a mother and a child to get sex, now men just have to exist and some woman's legs will open. But that's "progress", right?

[ChicanaChick]

Indeed it's a trashy generation. I've seen two of my friends getting strung along by these so called ''live-in bfs. In reality those men were just looking for easier access to sex and acting as a friends with benefits but obviously can't tell girls they just want to hook up so they get gfs instead... gfs that obviously want commitment. It hurts seeing someone getting used but them not seeing it.
Easy access to sex and just having fun isn't progress. Now everything seems disorganized.

[Sixgunsound]

That is the point I am trying to make. Increasingly liberal sexual policy destroys women, but they keep voting for it and paying the propagandists to produce demonstrations of it and living it. This is one of the reasons why I think generation Z is having a lot less sex than millennial or Gen x. They see what liberation got their mothers and aunts and older sisters and don't want any part of it. Please tell people in real life that sexual liberation IS NOT progress or progressive.

[Sixgunsound]

Feminism pushes cheap sex with many anonymous partners as desirable, but look how it destroys the women around you. Thanks, feminism.

[ChicanaChick]

I fail to see how cheap sex is liberalism. I believe the very first wave of feminism (the one about having fair rights to vote, work, have an education and own a house) was the only valid one but feminism to have free, random sex? The 3rd wave is stupid indeed.

[Sixgunsound]

How many of your friends and family have you convinced that the first wave is the only legitimate one? Keep up the good work if you are trying to convince people.

[DavidRaul]

This attitude will likely result in you ending up alone. Either you can just continue doing casuals, if you are doing so. Or you are just too independent to share your personal space and you don't need a relationship. So its better for you to stay single and just live the life, the way you want

[ChicanaChick]

Why is pointing out a fact an attitude? An attitude would be a woman that doesn't work, has nothing to offer, relies on men and is still saying ''I don't need anything from him''.

I'm going to ask you 2 question so if you can honestly answer them that would be great.
1st: Can you give me one good/valid reason why I should give up everything, all my comfortable life just to move in with a boyfriend?
2nd: Besides sex, what is something is great value that a boyfriend can give me, that would be convincing me to give it all up for him?

[DavidRaul]

Please think twice and read thrice before you answer before you come raging all over me. Please Google the meaning of "Attitude".
To answer your questions:
- I never said you need to move in with your boyfriend. You both can own a place and have to live under the same roof at some point. If you aren't willing to move to his place and you are not gonna share your space with someone. It's hardly going to work out. Some people need emotional availability of their SO. Do you think you can do that living miles apart?
-Ever heard of Love?

To sum up. I never opposed your decision or your opinion. I just gave some valid reasons, why relationships with you won't work. You have to make a few sacrifices for everything to work up. He needs to sacrifice too.

[ChicanaChick]

I'll make it easier. Lets say I do make a compromise of moving in with him with the condition of leaving my house for rent (not selling it) and still bringing my vehicles.

How do I know it's something serious in the long run? What if I get attached and think it means we're going to have kids soon and he's not at the level yet and only thinking of the great time we're spending together but no actual serious goals? How do I know I'm not wasting my time and years? Will I getting commitment out of this or will I be string along for years?

This is a risk too and if I get string along for years, I'm losing. I tend to analyze things and if I see no gain other than ''oh the emotions, oh the feelings, he told me he wants kids next year''... there is nothing to gain.

[ChicanaChick]

Basically if either of us sacrifice so much... is there going to be commitment for that sacrifice? If not, then both of us are losing. I'll be losing more because then I can't ever recover those wasted years.

Imagine if I gave up my house and car, made that great sacrifice to move in with him... then 4 years later it's a break-up and no commitment in return. Then I lost and gave up all for nothing.

[Anonymous]

My first introduction to dating a black man was my with my ex boyfriend who had cuckold BBC fantasies probably from watching too much porn. Anyway he bullied me into sleeping with a black guy while he watched, Anyway I hit off with this other guy and dumped my ex. He was shocked and verbally abusive, but what did he expect?

[ChicanaChick]

Your ex boyfriend was a toxic person. There is no place for abusers. Get rid of them ASAP. If you have done so, good.

[ArrowheadSW]

Since I like living alone, I would like to meet a woman who also likes living alone so we can enjoy each other's company when the time works out for both of us. You can keep separate lives (mostly), and get together when you have your chores and errands finished. The sex part can be great.

[Summeroflove]

You don’t have to do something you don’t want to do. Also if someone lives somewhere many times someone can’t just “kick someone out” they have to evict them

[Andres77]

If he was an awesome partner there'd be no question. You'd be chomping at the bit to be with him all the time. Obviously this guy doesn't do it for you.

[ChicanaChick]

But why should I give it up all for a boyfriend? We can still date separately and take a vacation for a week somewhere else, then return back to our own houses.

[Andres77]

I didn't say "give it up". I'm saying that once you meet the right partner you'll want to be with him all the time and want to wake up next to him and won't mind adjusting your life so you can be together all the time.
Don't change anything. To me... you simply have not met the right partner yet. Enjoy your life the way it is until you meet the right partner.

[ChicanaChick]

Even if he was convincing enough, I still want to put my property and assets. I would have my house for rent but nope, I'm not ready to give everything up for just a boyfriend that can walk away any time.

[ChicanaChick]

I suppose. It would have to be someone special and worth, someone that won't be just a temporarily partner.

[Andres77]

Exactly.

[Andres77]

Not the right one.

[Andres77]

Yet.
Good hunting...😉

[Guy13]

Good... wait until you get married !!

[ChicanaChick]

I don't mind sex in a relationship but I think dating has its own place, while living separately.

[Guy13]

And, don’t forget the criminal, credit, and joint medical physical paperwork exchange.-At least before sharing a lease or car payment….