Im afraid I may have to rehome one of my cats, help?

[Anonymous]

I'm sitting here sobbing as I type this. And I know it isn't typical content on here. But I'm looking for support where i can find it.

I am recently having aggression issues with my 2 cats starting from a stray showing up at my window and freaking one of them out. She then attacked my other cat in the midst of that. Neither were injured as I broke it up very quickly. But it was intense.
Since then, it's been about a week and they cannot be together reliably. They can be okay for a minute, or while they're eating. But inevitably one starts to stare the other down until a fight breaks out. So I've been keeping them separated unless I'm DIRECTLY supervising. Even then, that has seemed to be a mistake.
If there's a barrier between them, but they can see each other, there's no aggression. But if loose, it's definitely not easy.
I have a vet appointment in 2 days to get the initial cat that did the attack seen and maybe medicated for her anxiety (which has been an issue, just not to this degree). Then maybe see a behavior specialist, which I already cannot afford to do, but may do anyways.

I know I need to not be too dramatic before I even see the vet, but I'm so scared this is not resolvable and I am DEVASTATED at the idea of having to remove either of them. They are my world.
Has anyone else gone through something similar and had positive results?

Also, I live in a one bedroom apartment. So it's already small. Which is especially why I hate confining them to one room.

I guess I just want to get some hope from this. It's been a very sleepless and emotional week.

[ZXCwWRQWz]

Are they both females? That is near-impossible I've heard, but I have two from the street that I managed. I just started lifting one when the other attacked but I also put them next to each other sometimes when they slept. After a while (took maybe 6 months though), they seemed to get used to the idea that they were stuck with each other. Also I put food bowl for both right next to each other so that if they eat, they have to eat right next to each other. They still chase each other sometimes but every now and then I find them sleeping right next to each other.

[Asker]

They are both females, 11 and 4. And they've lived together the entire life of the 4 year old without much issue prior 😭

[ZXCwWRQWz]

If I may point out a possibly sexist thought, women worry too much about pets in my opinion. It's like they become their babies. Let them fight sometimes. What's the big deal? Maybe one gets some scratches or loses an eye.

I got this issue with my wife. She treats out cats like humans so she keeps wanting to change their diet all the time and keep introducing varieties of wet foods and treats when I try to show her that changes to their diet tend to be jarring for cats.

So maybe you might benefit from, "What's the big deal?" mindset unless one of the cats is literally killing the other one. But I think that's very unlikely -- you know, "cat fight." You don't tend to find them missing a leg after.