Girlfriend said that she feels sorry for me, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I wanted to have sex before I went from home so I started to give her several kisses and the conversation went like this:

Her: Oh, I feel so sorry for you

Me: Why?

Her: Because you are kissing me and I do not respond

Me: Well, I have to grope you then

Her: It’s will not work

I was a bit surprised over her response and I thought it was disrespectful to say it in that way. I later called her on it and said that I felt disappointed that she felt this way. I tried to talk to her about it but she said that she was just tired, but I didn’t feel that she was totally sincere since she had overslept two hours. It’s alright if she didn’t want to have sex that moment, but I felt that her response was pitiful towards me and disrespectful.

What does her response mean? Is it disrespectful to say something like this to their boyfriend/girlfriend? How should I respond to this situation?

[yellowcard]

Sweep her off her feet and carry qualities that are truly desirable. Maybe she thinks that you are lacking in confidence or a certain perspective about life and how you handle certain situations. She wants to find a reason to be proud of you. take this as motivation to do just that.

[celestialdaeva]

Did ya think that maybe the reason she overslept was because she was exhausted?

Dude. She was trying to say no gently. Even kinda saying she felt bad about it. Don't be a douche because your precious man ego got bruised that she wasn't putty in your hands.

[Asker]

I am not mad about it, but I feel a bit disappointed that she could say and feel something like this. Yes, she was probably a bit tired, but I did not feel that was the whole truth.

[celestialdaeva]

Is your ego that vulnerable that you need a full and complete explanation of why she's not in the mood for sex? Is it a control thing? "How dare she say no to me?!" I mean you make it sound like this was a one time incident - not the norm. Accept that she wasn't in the mood for whatever reason and move on. Quit being such a baby about it.

[Anonymous]

You're right, kind of...she shouldn't have said she felt sorry for you, that's not a very respectful thing to say to anyone, except for situations in which something tragic has happened to you by someone/something else. Or in just a pure, honest, humorous way. Not in a situation like this. She should have softened her last response and not lied about being sleepy also. She really needed to be more honest as to why she was not in the mood. Do you know if she really knew you were okay with not having sex? Unfortunately, there are guys/boyfriends out there that think if you kiss them then you should be willing to have sex and get upset when it stops prior to having sex. I would recommend confronting her with the situation and the facts. If you can't get a good answer or honesty, then it is time to move on to some who will be honest with you.

[Asker]

I have already talked to her about it and she says that it had nothing to do with me. She was just tired. She also said that she is sorry for stating that words. I don't know if she was aware that I was okay with not having sex and she has declined sex earlier without any bad reaction from me. I just feel disappointed that her words shows her true picture about us and our relationship. And if the relationship is not improving from now on, I feel that her insinuations can be a deal breaker for me

[Opinion Owner]

Glad you got to talk and that she was really sleepy...sounds like you are seeing her for who she is and it is better for this to happen sooner than later. Sounds like you are one of those good guys that doesn't try to push a girl into sex, good for you and good luck to ya, wish you the best!

[helpthepeople]

Yes, that was mean... Especially if you're both over 30 years old. She has something on her mind and it's bothering her in my opinion. Maybe it has something to do with you because at least, she should have responded to your kisses.

[dollme777]

I think she is tired of the sex with you. And she just doesn't have the balls to tell you.

[Anonymous]

Low sexual drive on her part or she's just not that into you...

[Racez]

Her sexual drive must near low.