He said he doesn't want to ruin our friendship

[Anonymous]

A good friend of mine (we've known each other a few years) and I just recently started hanging out a lot. We text everyday, see each other at least every other day and normally go to the movies or each others houses on the weekend. He buys me dinner and stuff and we can talk about anything. He has even invited me out with his family. We have had sex. He is at a rough patch in his life and says he does not want a relationship right now. Another one of our guy friends asked him if he wanted to date me and he said he doesn't want to risk our friendship, but I feel like it's already getting past a normal friendship.

What do you guys think? If he had said it to me I would think its just a polite way to blow me off, but he said it to another guy so does that mean he has thought about being in a relationship with me?

[why-makoto-kun]

It's a polite way to blow you off. If he had sex with you, and you're good friends, and still doesn't want a relationship, it's likely never going to happen. You already passed the threshold of "normal friendships," so his excuse is lame.

[Asker]

He didn't say he doesn't want one at all, just not "now." He didn't say anything about ruining our friendship to me. He said it to a mutual male friend.

[why-makoto-kun]

Ahh, I see. Just prepare yourself for the worst. Sadly, people will often be truthful moreso behind your back than to your face.

[bDizzie]

He doesn't want a relationship with you now... or ever. But he'll have sex with you. If you are fine with that arrangement then keep it going. But I think you deserve a man who wants you for more than sex.