What does it mean when a girl initiates conversations with a guy she knows and STILL seems nervous?

[Anonymous]

Does that make sense? She knows me and I usually wait for her to start a conversation or joke with me (which she usually does) but after the fact she still looks nervous, doesn't look at me that much, plays with her phone or seems "busy" doing something else.

If she goes to the trouble of initiating and knows me, what's with being a nervous wreck and aloof? isn't initiating the opposite of being nervous?

[anonymousfille]

When shy people initiate, we're challenging ourselves, what I mean is shy people realize they are shy, so they have to challenge themselves to break that shyness, it takes effort to do what non-shy people do without effort... it's like you're trying to break out from an egg shell, you have to put so much force to break out of the shell, imagine someone breaking out of an egg shell ...she initiate because that's the only way she can do it, if you approach her she might shut down or be less communicative, but when she's initiating she has some control over her actions, she has a plan or at least something in mind to talk about, and she's proving to herself that she's not shy, but then she realized that she;s not like everyone else and get nervous. when she says it's you, it means she likes you.

[Asker]

Wow, when I read you answer something clicked. I guess I don't think too much about it but when I approach her I usually have something in mind I'm going to say and I think about what she might answer and I come up, in my mind, with more things to say and if for some reason she doesn't hit any of my pre-determined answers, I get nervous. I'm not a shy guy at all, but with her its different. If she is feeling the way I feel when I don't know what to say (which is not often) it really makes sense.

[anonymousfille]

you just have to take over the conversation when she starts getting stressed out :)

[Anonymous]

cause she has strong feelings for you and is terrified around you and if the feeling is mutual or not, may be she's scared she doesn't wanna come on too strong staring at your eyes all the time, may be she thinks she's not pretty enough, who knows? but the 99.9% sure thing is that she likes you, and I know that cause I do the same, my friend...

you can make things better by giving her some assurance, flirt back, tell her she looks nice today, ask her for her number, get talking, make her comfortable like you enjoy her company too, and even better ask her out, while she's talking be like do you have any plans for tonight?

[Darknut123]

Interesting

[meghan-grace]

Sounds like she likes you, and the reason for initiating conversation is because she wants to talk to you but because she likes you it makes her nervous!

I do this all the time, especially when I first come into contact with the guy I like. I've talked to him SO many times before, and each time I'm always nervous during the "hi how are you" part of the conversation.

After youve finished talking to her and she walks away, you should sneakily try to look at her facial expression. Hopefully that might help! For me, I know Id be grinning from ear to ear.

[Asker]

Thats so true lol. She has no problem being a smartass and calling me names after she warms up but with the "hi"part, she looks and sounds nervous! And she has done it for months! Usually I just say "hi" and after a minute she'll go and say "how are you?" And then I'll take it from there and ask her stuff. She does grin/smile, especially when I ask her "why are you so quiet?" Or things like that, but she doesn't look at me much :/ lol

[meghan-grace]

Aw that's cute. I'm pretty much the same; I find it easier when conversation is more playful and flirty than serious. Its a good thing she initiates conversation because itll be a huge effort for her seeing as she's so nervous around you. She definitely likes you :)

[Asker]

its just a bit frustrating, she talk so easily with other people, sometimes I think there's something wrong with me :/ lol

[meghan-grace]

Haha not at all! Its the complete opposite. Trust me on this one :) you should ask her to hang out sometime!

[lauramor]

Because she just typed the mesage and hit send in a moment of courage, to try and show she's interested

[Anonymous]

dude you need more experience with girls! you're 25-29 and don't know the answer to this?!

SHE

LIKES

YOU!

shes wants your stinkin babies man!

sheesh.

[Asker]

LOL usually girls my age are not that shy and a bit more forward. I like her because she is smart and nerdy but that usually means she is shy! at least with me, sometimes I think she doesn't like me because she can initiate a conversation and joke with me one minute and be all aloof the next and when I tell her she was being funny just 5 minutes ago, she just tells me "well, its YOU, what do you expect" and when I ask her what's wrong with being me, she doesn't answer lol

[Poppykate]

Oh. That's so cute. She likes you! She thinks you are funny!

[dommage]

to try and make something happen. so they take a second to be brave and then suffer from the nervousness haha