Why do I regret deleting her?

[Anonymous]

I'd been with this girl a month until she decided to break up with me. This would be fine if I didn't fall in love fast. Her excuse was that she didn't feel 'comfortable with me' and this hurt just a little. It makes me wonder how anyone would feel comfortable with me. My friend told me to go after her, so I did (despite what I've learnt about relationships) going after the girl and disagreeing with a break up doesn't usually work. I put all my thoughts and feelings to her, how I could make her feel comfortable with me, ect. She just kept saying it's too late (even when I knew she wanted me to fight for her) I got loads of grief from her friend because I tried to get her back - so I deleted her friend and my ex, it's just too painful for me and I can't handle all the drama. I'm not sure why I feel upset and guilty about this. I mean: she said she loved me still but I feel bad about removing her. if her friend wasn't so immature I'd be fine but I'm not sure why I regret this so much. I suffer from anxiety and depression, this relationship shouldn't mean an awful lot to me but it does. What should I do? I can see her friends abusing me and ganging up on me when the only thing I tried to do was to fix the relationship - It's made me not want to go outside. I don't understand any of this, please help?

Updates

+1 y

surely if that person tells you, you can help them to feel comfortable. If two people love each other, it should work out. Her friends get involved over the smallest issues and arguments and I wasn't being very persistent. a relationship should be between two people surely? I hear you loud and clear but I don't agree with everything in that regard.

[SuperPickle]

If someone says that they are uncomfortable, you can't "make" them be comfortable. With that said, maybe it was her issue and not yours.

As much as this sucks, sometimes people you care about will not feel the same way as you do. That's part of life and something that you need to get used to.

As far as the anxiety and depression issues go, the opposite of what you said is probably true. Your mind is probably telling you that she's the only one who you could be happy with and you're probably talking yourself out of trying to meet anyone new because you've put so much into this former girlfriend. Your depression and self-esteem might be preventing you from moving on to something better. Hopefully, I've explained that well enough.

You most likely regret deleting her because of "what could have been". You might be dwelling on how things might be different if her friends didn't interfere. Quite frankly, it's possible that she might have told them how persistent you were being after she felt uncomfortable. Can you blame them for being protective?

I'm not saying that you did anything to make her feel uncomfortable in the first place, but the best thing to do in that situation is back off, no matter what the reason. She and her friends may have felt like you were being pushy after that.

I cannot say for sure, since I wasn't there, but it's pretty likely that your attempts to fix things might have caused her anxiety. I hope you understand that I'm being blunt so that it may help you.

If you're not already being treated for your depression, you really should. It's very common nowadays, nothing to be ashamed of, and when you find the right doctor(s), it can make a world of difference in how you see yourself and the world around you.

Best of luck to you.

[shhhitsasecret]

I was going to answer & then I seem your answer & I was like "eh what's the point this guy nailed it" haha

[winherback]

If I were you, I would just chalk this up as a learning experience. Move on now and don't look back.