What do men's compliments really mean?

[sandyboo]

i got men compliments me that I'm very sexy all the times.. and honestly, it became a bit insecure after someone complimenting me like that because I wasn't sure his intension and I would started think less of myself rather they don't really see my personality, I think I'm fun... its been a while, I mean like years, when I get compliments someone thinks I'm sexy/hot, not matter male or female, I started to feel slightly insecure/lack of confident about myself maybe people only see me because they think I have nice curves or maybe when people sees me they just think of anything related to Sex?

do any women out there have any similar problems? somehow, I would rather have someone complimenting me like.. you are so beautiful/intelligent/smart.. but I always got... its, you are very sexy/ very hot.

And what do guys think about that? Am I over reacting or it really does means that they just want to "do you"? because bothers me for quite a long time. although its a nice thing to hear, but on the other hand I can't help but I would have a quick judgement that they probably just want to get laid. But I do think I'm a genuine nice person tho.

[OpenClose]

I feel a lot of guys are holding in a lot of compliments. Not even really filtering them, just steering clear of the subject altogether.

I mean, if anything went, I would love to say "you have lovely boobs", but that would be a tad offensive, or at least awkward. I would prefer that someone avoid comments about my man-parts in a public setting.

But it's also a jump to assume that if men compliment how you look, they don't care about who you are. If you were to pay a stranger a compliment, you don't know them. You don't actually know their personality. All you have to go on are looks.

And even if you do know them, personality doesn't change day-by-day, not quite like looks do. So you can say "you look really nice today", but saying "you are a really nice person today" sounds almost sarcastic, or implies you aren't normally nice.

Compliments about personality are much more finicky, and aren't conducive to small-talk. They pop up when you do something nice "That was so sweet of you!", or some other action "I hadn't thought of that. You're brilliant!"

So a simple compliment shouldn't tell you much about how valuable your personality is, or how nefarious their intentions. These assumptions lead to guys being freaked out at the idea of complimenting a girl or flirting, so many just stay out of the game altogether.

His respect for your personality and boundaries will come in a different form.

Of course, "you so sexy", is something you can take however the heck you want. Not exactly the classiest compliment, there.

[sexyasianboi26]

You are a weak person if you let words, especially compliments, get the best out of you.

Don't let words corrupt you. Don't stress and worry about the future outcome of the action which you are about to take, because it is not here now.

Honestly I can't stand weak women. Submissive is golden, but weak? No. I want her to push back if I push her. Tell me that I'm wrong if I say something that is not right. And most importantly, be the one to give me words of reassurance that will give me strength.

Just let the words and compliments pass through one ear to the other.

If you truly say what you think you are. Then you are a trophy wife for a great man someday.

[sandyboo]

no I'm saying I'm generally a tough woman, I'm fun but not really weak, like am not scare to speak up and I would voice out whatever I think its something goes wrong too, please note that, my question was, what does they mean when they complimenting women as sexy or hot, I'm saying generally when I get these compliments, I'm happy, but when you got more than often, you would started to think, why people don't compliment me as "beautiful" instead of "sexy"? - and I just don't understand the intention

[candyaurora]

Yeah I don't want to hear "You are hot/ sexy or even stylish" from a guy! Hearing "Beautiful/intelligent/smart.." is what I want to hear !

[sandyboo]

yeah right? I know it sounds like a "first world problem" much, don't get me wrong I really love to hear someone to compliments me as hot and sexy.

But when it comes to... maybe your crush. and someone you want to develop a relationship with, and I think I would wish he thinks I'm beautiful and maybe have a beautiful heart and such.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

In my opinion, most guys compliment women according to their attire. For example, when a beautiful woman is provocatively dressed, - short shorts, skirts, and dresses, etc. - I immediately associate her look with hot and sexy. and instinctively compliment her as such.

If she happens to be casually or professionally dressed, I associate her look with class or normalcy, which is often related to beauty. However, there are exceptions. Some women have a natural sex appeal that transmits in most of their attire. As a result, they are usually subject to receiving misplaced/unwanted compliments and attention from guys.

[sandyboo]

i love this answer. very logical and related to science!

I guess generally I dress pretty casual, but I'm quite curvy type, so sometimes even I'm wearing a simple top .I still just draw a lot of attention. And women complimenting I'm sexy too.

don't get me wrong I do enjoyed being complimenting, but if you heard that from your "crush" or someone you want to develop a relationship with,i wasn't sure is that a "men" thing .. after you heard many times and I just can't help to think in that way.

[martyfellow]

Yes, this compliment is actually a suggestion. They are making sexual innuendos, not just appreciating you for your personality. Maybe they detect you are feeling insecure, so they try to take advantage by making this sort of suggestion.

Guys do sense insecurity and some of them know how to take advantage of it.

[sandyboo]

ok, so I wonder, what's the situation you would compliments a woman who you think she is sexy/hot? or you would never say that, incase you want to have sex with her? or you like her alot, but you would never compliments her as sexy or hot because you would think that will give her a wrong idea?

[martyfellow]

I'd only call her sexy or hot in a playful way. If she's dressed in a way that really shows off her curves, I might laugh and say she looks hot today, and pat her bottom. Just to show it's more of a joke,but also show her I'm open to her suggestions!

[sandyboo]

so techically you would say the she's sexy or hot right? well, the guys compliments me they did the same way like you too. so does it means actually they were making sexual innuendos?

[martyfellow]

There's nothing technical..it's just joking around.

Are guys saying this sort of thing ALL THE TIME, or only when you're really dressed to impress?

IF it's just when you're showing off your body a lot, they're just kidding.

IF it's all the time, then they're making sexual suggestions.

[sandyboo]

got ya, totally, no matter what they said, it was all bad intension, except yours?

[baffledguy]

"You're sexy", "you're hot", "you're beautiful", etc. all mean the same thing, at least when coming from a male. It means they are thinking of sex. The thing is that they must be pretty brave or self-confident to say that, or they must know you very well. Normally it wouldn't be appropriate to say that to a random female, because of what it implies.