So we've all been there, and I see the question popping up so much. "How do I get over him/her?" We've all been hurt by someone and I had to get over the first person I loved. This took a year of effort, and admittedly some tears, but it worked. So I'm gonna at least try to help someone out there reading this who is hurt and wants help. This won't work for everyone, but hopefully someone!
1. Give Yourself Some Time
So it might seem stupid and a waste of time, but it helps. Just let it out. Let yourself cry. Let yourself feel a little sad. Give yourself time! I know, it hurts like hell. But you can't jump from the absolute feeling of rejection to a new person. You will most likely not mentally be ready for it and might end up hurting both yourself again and someone else in the process. Giving yourself time also lets you think. Why did you fall for them in the first place? Were there signs it wouldn't work out? If there were, what were they? You can not only begin the heal but learn from what happened so it couldn't happen again, and maybe what to do if it does. After that, you can move on to step two which is:
2. Acceptance
Accept that said person is not going to be in your life. It helps you let them go. Keeps you from going deeper in denial and from hurting yourself. Denying it allows room for "Maybe they'll come around if I just wait" thoughts, and that's unhealthy. You ignore people around you in hopes of that one person noticing you and being with you. You forget to have fun and enjoy things. Accepting it allows you to finally heal. This can take time, like giving yourself time, but it can allow you to finally be you again and get over the hurt. If you see them everyday, like I did because we were still in school, it can really help you out.
3. Let Them Go
Like Elsa said, Let It Go. Let them go. It isn't easy, sure as hell is hard work and dedication. But if you let them go, you can finally move on with yourself. Letting them go really does you a favor if they never felt anything towards you to begin with and are dating. It helps you because now you see them with another. But if you let them go, you can stop yourself from doing something out of a jealous rage that you wouldn't have previously.
Please, do this. I didn't and accidentally, in anger and jealous, cussed out said female. We didn't talk for months until I saw her and apologized like hell. Do not do what I did and almost ruin a great friendship in anger because you can't let go of what never would have been. We're still friends to this day, but the bond we had was broken and that's a pain I'm forced to deal with knowing I broke a great bond out of stupid jealously. Please don't do what I did.
4. Enjoy Some 'Me Time' (If you know what this is from, good for you!)
Once you've given yourself time, let yourself cry, gain and lose ten pounds, move on, and let it go, now you think you're ready to date. You just might be. But I suggest to take some me time. Relax. Chill. Hang out with friends, listen to music, play games, go steal a puppy for me. You know, normal relaxing things. Just relax and chill. Do you. It helps to just give yourself some time to work on you. No use trying to go for someone right after you done spent all this time working on yourself! Relax a bit more, build up your confidence and sense of independence and whatnot, and walk out a new and stronger person.
Finally: Don't You Dare Settle For Less
You worked yourself up. Cried and got over someone who broke your heart and were so sweet, you risked jail time to bring a Pit Bull puppy to a guy in MN. Now here's the part you need to never forget: Don't you dare settle for less than what you are worth. Don't settle for an asshole who see's you as a trophy, something to flaunt around. Like "look who I'm dating!" type of person. The type who tells everyone who they're with but can't tell anyone who they really are. Settle for what you're worth. And don't think you're worth less. Don't think that because you've been hurt a few times, you're used to it so it's okay.
I have a friend, an awesome girl, who told me that and the temptation to drive out there, an hour away at 11 at night, was so strong I just called her to talk and try convincing her otherwise. It's not okay, you shouldn't be used to it, and don't accept it. To accept it is to pretty much go through what we just tried fixing in the first place! Settle for what you're worth and better and you'll find you won't be asking friends how to get over another heartbreak anytime soon.
Hope this helped some people. Again, not a default "every size/technique" fits all, but hopefully some of this helps you out :). Enjoy.
How To Get Over Someone (Advice From a Broken Heart)
Fate's coincidence! Thank goodness this showed up at the time I needed this the most. I'm enjoying some "Me Time" at the moment to get rid of him once and for all. Thanks for writing this. Magnificent myTake!
That's awesome! I do that myself. Everytime I'm mad at someone I hit a punching bag. It's hilarious when I realized my roommates know I'm mad at someone because I apparently hit it differently.
I tried, as soon as I got over her, and ended up hurting that girl as well. She wanted to be with me but I wasn't ready and keep trying despite that fact, hurting both of us and ruining what could have been in the process. Which is why I now say to take time.
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