Some of you may have experienced it before: The sneaking suspicion that you current flame is fu***** crazy.
And I don't mean the sweet kind of crazy, the "oh, he's just a little eccentric" or "oh, she's just a little different." I'm talking about the knife-wielding, fire-in-the-eyes, I'm-out-of-my-mind-and-KILLKILLKILL!!! craziness that warrants police and cameras.
Girls, if you've ever thought your guy could end up like Norman Bates and you're starting to lock the bathroom door and hide the kitchen knives; guys, if you keep having nightmares about your girl gouging out your eyes with a pair of stiletto heels, this is for you.
1. You woke up in the middle of the night to find him/her perched on a stool by the side of the bed, staring at you
And when you asked why, s/he just shrugged, made some noncommittal sound and and went into the living room to watch Xanadu over and over again until dawn.
2. When you asked, "how was your day?" s/he growled like a starving puma, grabbed your hand, and fu***** bit you
After this, you started asking about his or her day from waaaay across the room. You might want to keep some bear traps handy, too, because s/he might make a dash for you. And next time, s/he might not bite you only once.
3. Angry sex is one thing. Violent, one-of-us-is going-to-be-dead-before-it's-over sex is...something else
Oh yeah, guys and girls love the rough stuff every now and then. You know, a little dirty talk, some playful spanking, what-have-you. But when it steps over the line and you're cleaning blood off your sheets, and people start asking you if you were in a car accident, something's up.
4. Seems like every time you laugh, s/he wants to haul off and slap you
If you're expressing cheer or joy or general good humor, your partner resents it and apparently wants to maim you. And you would think if you just walked around with a dour expression, that would make him or her happy...but it only pisses them off more. You just can't win.
5. You asked, "where do you want to eat tonight?" and s/he curled up into a ball on the sofa and started sobbing
There's only one way this is normal: If you always ignored his or her recent suggestions and ended up at Arby's or that awful pizza place down the street that has been known to make people violently ill. Otherwise, this sort of reaction to an utterly benign question is just wicked unsettling.
6. S/he doesn't just laugh at horror movie grotesqueness; s/he is starting to giggle at real-life tragedies
Laughing at some nasty horror sh** in a movie is basically a defense mechanism (or one would hope). But once this person starts finding humor in real dead people lying really dead on a very real street, a switch has been flipped. Run.
7. "Is it possible to add a murder/suicide clause to a will?"
It's a legal question for a lawyer who just passed the BAR in Hell. Contrary to popular belief, not all lawyers graduated from the law school situated near the River Styx.
8. Playful competitiveness:
Vs.
One is cute. The other makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Keep a loaded suitcase in the trunk of your car.
What Girls & Guys Said
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Lol XD the first two. Haha.
My sister hates when people touch her. So I told her she's going to be in bed with her husband and he's going to roll over and touch her, and she's going to get out of bed, grab a knife and stab him to death.
Nice take, when I think of crazy I assume the knife weilding psycho SO not the cute/different term for "crazy"
Good job, people need to know the difference.
I've had that bloody violent sex
Amazing