Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues

Fathoms77
Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues

No, I'm not an expert or a "sexpert." I am not the caretaker of a treasure trove of romance secrets; I don't wander around with a magic key hanging from my belt. I have tried and failed just as often, if not more often, than most people here. Humbleness, I have no key, and I have no authority to present.



It sounds like I've completely discredited myself for this particular myTake (and perhaps I have), but I know such a disclaimer is necessary. After all, the first knee-jerk reaction to any love/sex advice piece essentially amounts to a lot of "what do YOU know?!" replies from people with inferiority - or superiority - complexes the size of Montana. ;)



However, despite the fact that I'm no wizard, I'd like to assume wisdom and experience counts for something, and I gladly invoke the assistance of one of history's greatest thinkers: Aristotle.



If you're unfamiliar, one of Aristotle's most well-known theories was his concept of virtue vs. vice, in that the virtue occupies the middle while the vices are the extremes. For example, while courage is a virtue, cowardice and rashness are its vices. Over the years, I have realized that this concept applies to just about everything in life and that includes the insanely complex realm of love and romance.


Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues

In brief, balance is everything. It's easy, look:



Vice: "Girls are sex objects and should be treated as such because they're all just money-grabbing, manipulative whores!"



Vice: "Girls should be bowed to; we should revere them as princesses and cater to their every whim and wish. Men should always be deferential and in fact, even subservient."



Virtue: "Guys and girls are equal, and equally frightened of the challenging concepts like sex and love, which task both genders with a lifelong learning process. One learns from the other, accepts the biological differences that always exist, and understand that give-and-take extends beyond simple arguments and should be embraced on a daily basis."



See?



I'm not going to get all long-winded and overly verbose here, so let me just say this: If you have a problem in your love life or sex life, and you're at a loss, just remember: Balance. What would be the virtue in your situation?


Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues

"Slut or virgin? Ahhhh! What do I do?!"



Okay, so it's not always worded in this fashion, but most questions boil down to how soon and how often teens and young adults should have sex. Well, how about somewhere in between slut and virgin? How about using some good judgment and understanding that there's a wide gulf between sleeping with 5 people a month and 1 person a year?



"How do I look? Am I healthy? Am I attractive? HELP!"



There's a difference between obsessing over the half-pound you gained over the holidays and not giving one flying fu** if you've eaten yourself into an obese coma. You can care about your health and be attractive to other people simply by paying attention to what you eat, and being active here and there. You don't have to do CrossFit, but you also shouldn't be lying on the couch all damn day. Chocolate cake? Sure, why not? One of life's little pleasures. Just don't make it a needless daily pleasure.


Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues

"I can't get anyone to like me so I must be a loser who's going to be alone forever"



...said the 16-year-old who's going through the same shit we all went through, and has no perception of "forever" because he or she doesn't realize that at 16, the only perception is of the present. :P Yeah, we were all a little dramatic and emotional as teens; it's called "hormones." Don't worry, it'll pass. Nobody seems to like anyone at 16, anyway (especially today, for some bizarre reason). You don't have to be Homecoming King or Queen and you don't have to lock yourself into a dark cave. Again, there's a very big space occupying the middle there; a whole lot of VIRTUE to find.



"I'm never going to have sex and I'm never going to be in a long-term relationship" OR "I ALWAYS want sex and I want to be around someone 24/7!"



WTF. Really? I've never seen such crazy overreaction. How's about going out with a few people you might like, with whom you have something in common? Meeting new people and sharing new experiences and you know, growing up and learning new things? Some relationships won't work out, some will. Some sex won't be great, some will. Balance.


Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues

BALANCE.



Try it.

Sex, Love and Lies: The Easiest Way to Solve All Your Dating, Relationship and Life Issues
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