I’ve never gotten a woman pregnant...I would know."
~Words Said by Many Men
How would you always know this exactly?
In almost any case a woman can privately get herself tested for pregnancy, keep a positive result to herself, and on an occasion that her boyfriend isn’t around for a few hours, can arrange for an abortion.
On any given day, a woman can stop at the store and pick up a pregnancy kit. Relatively inexpensive (up to $20 US depending on the brand and how many kits are included), they are small enough to conceal in her purse or up the sleeve of her jacket. If you live together, all she needs to do is hide it at the bottom of her purse or stuff it somewhere else until she can use it. Life is pretty much normal as she tries to get her mind off of her concerns.
Excusing herself to pee, that’s how long it takes to do the test - only seconds. To wait for the result is 1-3 minutes. That’s fine – she just runs some water, blows her nose, all the while, you’re sitting on the couch and have no clue she’s doing a test. Or, to keep you from being suspicious of why she's in the bathroom for so long, she just wipes off the test and hides it somewhere to view the results a little later on, returning to your night on the couch.
Once she sees the result, she throws the test away, maybe wrapping it in toilet paper, or just hiding it to discard it somewhere else. If positive, or if she thinks it's too early to be sure, she may want to get a formal test from her GP.
You’re at work and she schedules a quick visit to her doctor to pick up a requisition to go to the lab. You text her to find out how her day is going. She answers: “Just at the doctor. Super tired lately, they’re just testing my iron levels.” You are satisfied with her lie (doctor-patient confidentiality will prevent you from knowing anything else), and you wish her luck. Her hCG levels confirm she’s pregnant very quickly.
Back at home, you think life is normal as she mentally prepares for an abortion. Arrangements are made again while you're working so you can't overhear her calls or find out she's ducked out to the doctor's office again. On the day of the procedure, she may need up to five hours for the prep, the procedure, and recovery time.
The actual abortion takes anywhere from 5-20 minutes, but depending on the situation and/or how much sedation is needed depends on the recovery time, and whether or not she requires a ride home. If she's not sedated, she won't need a ride home, thus making the appointment shorter. She schedules this for 9am on a Tuesday. You’ll be at work. She confides in a friend to help her with a ride because in her case she'll need to be sedated. By the latest: 2pm, she’s out and on her way home.
You were texting her during that time, and she wasn't answering. Finally she tells you she had become sick and was throwing up and decided to sleep it off. You come home from work, concerned about her and sure enough she's in bed, and groggy from the ordeal. She lies to you the next day saying her period – since being late, came on with a vengeance and she is too cramped up for sex. Over the next 1-2 weeks she dodges sex with general reasons of being unwell. She might give you oral sex in the meantime. As far as you know, she had basically come down with something, and slowly shows that she's feeling better.
This is all, if the woman lives with her partner and is quite close to him.
Imagine how easy it could be if a couple is not living together, not entirely there for each other (ie. casual sex or “friends with benefits”), seeing each other in a long-distance relationship, or people who simply have one night stands, not even thinking to keep in touch with each other again?
If you think you know you've never gotten a woman pregnant, then why is it women like me have had friends who have confided their pregnancies to me, had me drive them to their secret abortion appointments, and know they are living out their lives with this secret?
Women often lie to their partners because they are terrified to be pregnant in the first place or take the pregnancy to term. Perhaps her family or yours is religious and it might not sit well with them. Perhaps she doesn't want children now, and it was accidental - but she feared you might look at an abortion as immoral if you found out. If a woman is hardly your partner, but rather an ex, fuck buddy, a one night stand, or just someone you aren't committed to - she may feel all the more reason to stop the pregnancy because she already knows the father of the child is not 100% part of her life.
Perhaps she has told you that she is pregnant, but you assumed and even accused her that the child is not yours - but someone else's. You know about the abortion, but you are satisfied in believing that you were never the father in the first place.
You just never know.
Anonymous Option allowed only because I would encourage both men and women to share their experiences while protecting their GaG user profile.
Most Helpful Opinions