Should You Let Your Girlfriend Have Guy Friends?
A common question I’ve been asked and come across is: Is it okay to let your girlfriend have guy friends?
The answer it: It depends….
Having friends, both female and male, outside the relationship is quite normal and common for many couples. It is often the case that two people in a relationship may just be content with their lives revolving around the two of them and family. That too is not an issue so long as it is the conscious decision of both parties.
Now trust and loyalty from your Girlfriend is good, however, if she has given you reason to doubt her loyalty, there could be an underlying problem in your relationship. This DOES NOT mean it is the be all to end all.
Generally speaking, if a woman loves you, adores you and respects you as her man, she will prefer to spend most of her time with you than with other men; even if they’re “just friends.” Something to definitely keep in mind, although it is a generalisation.
Now this is the simplest answer to a very complicated question. To best answer whether it is okay to let your girlfriend have guy friends, it’s important to look at where the question is coming from. Basically, when a guy is concerned about his girlfriend having guy friends, it usually boils down to 2 main reasons:
1. He is feeling jealous and insecure.
2. He has noticed that the relationship is no longer the way it used to be and he’s worried that she’s going to break up with him.
Deciphering Your Relationship
Simply put, and before I say this, I want you to know its okay, but if your girlfriend having male friends is bothering you enough to ask, “Is it okay to let your girlfriend have guy friends,” then you probably have cause for concern. Not because this means she’s going to cheat on you with them, but because you’re feeling insecure about it.
Being needy and clingy in a relationship is good, but as with anything, only to an extent. It more than certainly has the potential to negatively impact a relationship. The truth is Women do not want to be stuck in a relationship with an overly clingy or need guy. Why? Because they are intuitive enough to read between the lines and look between the words to know this behavior is a signal for deeper underlying issues.
1. Lack of Trust.
As mentioned earlier, unless there is a good reason for it, a lack of trust in your Girlfriend highlights a lack of confidence in one’s self and as a man who can give his Woman what she needs to stay faithful to him.
Trusting someone 100% is not easy, nor should it be, but having faith should be something you are willing to give, 100% of, to your Girlfriend. You HAVE to give her that trust.
This does not mean she won’t cheat on you and you won’t be left feeling hurt and disappointed, but, if you do not give her that faith and benefit of the doubt, you will end up coming off as a guy who behaves, weak and clingy lacking in self confidence.
2. Making her your EVERYTHING but have goals!
This is a self-reflective aspect, you need to sit and spend a lot of time thinking about. There is nothing wrong in making her your priority and someone you do things work BUT, you need a purpose in life and goals to strive for. A Woman is, naturally, attracted to a guy with direction and purpose, be this guy.
Do not fall into the trap of using your relationship as a mean to hide from the world and rob yourself the chance to reach your true potential in life. You will live to regret it.
Make her your everything, make her the centre of your life but work to a dream and a goal, have a purpose!!!!!!! A Woman wants to be with a man who adores and loves her, no two ways about it, but she also wants to know that he has a plan for his life and future (and hopefully her future with him).
Sometimes We Feel A Way For A Reason
Sometimes when a guy asks himself, “Is it okay to let your girlfriend have guy friends,” it is because this is just one more thing in the relationship that is bothering him, and it is okay to feel this way and acknowledge it as opposed to hide from it. If you’re concerned about your Girlfriend’s guy friends, could it be that you noticed other signs that indicate she might want to break up with you? Or maybe her priorities are not in the right place unknowingly to her? Communication is key, no one is a mind reader, remember this!
As yourself things like this:
- Does she insist on going out with her guy friends all the time?
- Does she spend more time with her friends than she does with you?
- Does she dress up more attractively when she goes out with her friends than she does with you?
Answering yes to all or some of these questions could mean that your Girlfriend is no longer feeling the way she wants to feel when she’s with you, or her priorities are astray, so she is looking to other men (even guy friends) to make her feel good about herself. For both your sake's, talk it though and get to the bottom of the situation. DO NOT attack her, sit down and hear her side, LISTEN, and respond respectfully and truly.
Everything has a way of working itself out. Whether it is as we hoped for or otherwise, the point is, somethings are meant to be and others are not. A scary truth to life, no doubt, but accept this, it is a certainty of life… like taxes….
Any questions or queries, let me know! Anything to add, feel free to!
Till next time,
Mark
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