To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

Before I begin let me tell you a little about myself; I am a 23, 6’, 300lbs man who has never been on a date with a girl let alone have a relationship or sex. Like many other men out there I was extremely bitter about the whole situation.

To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

I wondered why other guys had such great luck with girls and had fulfilling relationships and sex lives, while I had nothing but envy for those guys. An envy that grew into bitterness, and which clouded my judgement. Instead of looking inward to see my own weaknesses and areas in need of improvement, I externalized this and projected my problems on to other people.

To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

I thought to myself that all women wanted an Adonis and would settle for no less than perfection. I thought to myself, why would any women want me when they could find and probably have already been with a man who was well-endowed. I thought to myself, why would any women want a man who doesn’t have a six pack and is ugly. These negative thoughts and so many more clouded my judgement so much that I was beginning to lose touch between what was the truth and what were gross generalizations.

To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

Now, let me tell you the bitter truth I had to realize on my own. The issues that I had worried about were nobody else’s problem but my own. It was difficult to realize that all my negative views on women, dating, sex, relationships, etc. were based primarily on irrational thinking and time spent away from reality reading the postings of random people on the internet.

To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

It was my poor attitude that was holding me back and made me even more depressed and bitter than I already was. After the clouds had cleared I realized just how irrational my thinking was in seeing women as some evil force out there oppressing nice guys and banging every big dicked stud they came across. I realized the simple fact that women do not owe me anything, that I shouldn’t be nice to them just so I can get into their pants but to just be nice for the sake of it.

To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

I am still a virgin and have never dated, but now I am working towards eliminating that divide I created between myself and women. Today I believe strongly in issues such as the importance of consent, a women’s right over her own body, that it is okay for a woman to be sex positive and open with her sexuality, and the belief in treating women as equals. As I improve myself I become ever more confident that one day I may be able to find someone who can love me.

To All the Bitter and Lonely Men Out There: Nobody Owes You a Thing!

I know that trying to rationalize with the bitter and depressed is a Sisyphean task and usually turns into flogging a dead horse, but I honestly hope that another guy in a similar situation as myself can take some advice from this and to work on improving his negative attitude and discovering how he can improve the situation he is in.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Thank you for sharing this, and I'm so happy that you've realized these things on your own. Your self-awareness is great. Dating and relationships doesn't boil down to abs or perfection. Like sure, those things MIGHT help a little, but if you're in it for the long run, you're going to be looking for something way deeper than that. Having a nasty attitude and prejudice towards potential mates is not going to help in any way. Anyone who ever decides to talk to someone with that kind of mindset will notice that pretty fast and run for the hills - nobody wants to date someone who's so self-absorbed and bitter.
    I fully respect how you've changed your outlook to a more positive and confident one. It's all positive change from here, and I'm sure everyone around you will notice that. Don't listen to anyone calling you a "white knight". Those are just the same dudes who have nothing better to do than whine about the fact that a woman didn't drop their panties for them because they held the door open.

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    • No because guys know exactly were this will lead to. Failure and the take owner being a slave to the gynocracy

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    • @joeblow123 except that I wasn’t addressing guys who have legitimate struggles that they go through, I addressed the guys who attacked the mytake writer and called him a ”white knight” for no reason. Then you went off and tried to turn it into something it isn’t.

    • @joeblow123 guys like you are the definition of men who will never have a long lasting relationship

Most Helpful Guy

  • Another Feminist white knight trying to justify why Men should accept women as their masters.
    You can accept women as your master but I won't. I have self respect and I know how to stand up for myself.

    Feminism has gone too far. The #MeToo movement has gone too far. Women have gone too far. It’s a witch hunt.

    The idea that a liberation movement for women has gone "too far" is a common one, an admonishment designed to make us feel like naughty schoolgirls. Patriarchy is maintained in part by keeping women in our place and punishing us when we dare to step outside of it.

    1. Women ride cock carousel in her teens and wants you to accept her as your wife later on. (Fuck it)

    2. Women can charge fake rape charges against you without any reason and police will take you ass to jail. (Fuck it)

    3. Women can cheat on you and you're still expected to tolerate the abuse from women (fuck it)

    4. Women shouldn't pay on dates , shouldn't earn for family but still wants equality. (Fuck it)

    5. If you have a small dick, your a chump - If she has a loose vagina then you get the reason that vagina don't get loose after too much sex. (Fuck it)

    6. If you have a divorce with a woman, she will automatically get te possession of kids, and half of your entire wealth (fuck it)

    7. Women will manipulate their father, brothers, husbands, boyfriends every man in their life but still demand respect from men. (Fuck it)

    8. Law say, Women cannot rape but man can. The reality is 80 % of reported rapes were the ones where women initiated flirting.

    9. Women won't make the first move on the guy , they still hope guy should come up to them and lick their feet. And if the guy is not interested in her, he is an as whole.

    10. If you don't satisfy her physically, emotionally, financially, the reality is she will dump your sorry ass and find someone better. Women are very opportunistic that way.

    11. If a woman hits a man , she can easily lie about domestic violence. But if a man hits a woman he's a female basher, anti women and a devil.

    I refuse to be a cuck.
    I refuse to bow to feminists.
    I was a born as a free man and I will as a free man.

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    • 😭😭😭😭😢😭beautiful

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    • @martinxcv there is no need to change women.
      These feminist women are free prostitutes.
      Just bang them and have fun with them.
      However, when it comes to marriage, you must make an intelligent decision by chosing the nice virgin type of woman.

    • You guys will never get a woman. Maybe after they get your approval number on your mastercard. And I am not a feminist.

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What Girls Said 38

  • Bravo! This is an excellent take. Let me tell you... I've struggled with the same things growing up and even now. I thought guys wanted only perfect looking chicks until I realized and saw a lot of average or even less attractive people in happy relationships. This is a great realization and one that makes you very attractive and approachable in my book.

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  • I love seeing all the salty guys gathering here.
    In real life, these salty internet boys are the ones who think buying a woman a drink entitles them to her vagina. Lovely to see them all congregating here.

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    • Lol another young girl on G@G who think she knows everything

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    • @martinxcv I mean the stuff you’re saying, not the disagreement.

    • @Valiant: he's what Ken Wilber calls one of those 'you can't tell me what to do!' -ers. Although, depending on the context, most people are...

  • This is a great take and I wish more men and women alike would do more inner reflection before blaming others for their shortcomings.
    I was also bitter and jaded and hating the opposite sex, but that doesn't make you more attractive to them. In fact, as you said, it wedges a further divide.

    I wish you well in your further endeavors and happiness in future relationships :)

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    • Sounds like you have done a 180... and turned that around. Well done , it's hard , I have had a phase were I attracted psycho nutcases.. and still have the scars from one !!

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    • Well, given what you said in that mytake about what has happened between you and men, I thought then and I think now you've done a remarkable job *not* hating men.

      And I am happy to hear things are looking up for you.

    • @Bluemax Haha thank you :)

  • You're great! Way to take responsibility for your life! You also don't sound ugly at all compared to a lot of guys here. :)

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    • Lol all the misogynists rated me down, they know they're ugly :)

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    • Astria... if someone is bitter and lonely enough they will create new accounts to downvote you 😂 by the way how's mr bunny?

    • @betaTester are you one of those? her bunny throws piles of turds on your whey pancakes

  • Good on you for doing some soul searching and letting that hate and negativity go. It's no good to hold onto to stuff like that. And it takes a lot to look in the mirror and address yourself as the problem. I say keep digging and finding out more about yourself. Keep cutting off the negative and piling on the positive and watching the changes. Good luck to you!

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  • Thank you for this. So insightful and well written. I applaud you for your capability to self-reflect like that at your young age. Not many people do that.

    Let's hope many men will read this.

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    • They are reading it, and yeah, not seeing it the same way he is.

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    • You accepting it is not surprising is progress and it is not going change, mainly get worse regardless of the amount of brainwashing and grooming by femiextremists. The only way it will change is with a major shift in attitude by women towards men or certain types of men.

    • @martinxcv I have no idea what your gibberish was supposed to say. Anyway, it's funny to see so many triggered butthurt meninazis. :D

  • Thanks it was a very nice opinion and hope you can find your special someone soon. I am sure there will be one waiting

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  • You must be incredibly strong and intelligent to have realized this on your own. This is amazing, and I'm honestly really impressed with your ability to reconcile and realize that women aren't in the wrong.. Wow!

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  • Your inspiring! Honestly though try a dating agency they really help people find each other. And here's a virtual hug, there's definitely a girl out there somewhere for you. I mean there's like 7 billion people on the planet so the chances are very high.

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  • Good on you! Live a good life, do things that make you happy, and keep growing. Keep being your best self and good things will happen! :)

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  • Glad that you felt this way. Thank you for believing and respecting us. My beliefs are not representative of all women, but I can generally say most of us don't go for looks, when it comes to bfs or husbands, at least not where I'm from.
    Would you believe me if I told you I found Austin Powers extremely sexy? Because I do. I would totally go on a date and hang out with him. And why not, he's funny and is confident of himself. He's not exactly Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling material, being not good-looking and out of shape. But you don't see him hiding in the corner, worrying about his looks and being rejected and stuff.
    And while its good to see the positive tone from you, I think there is one other person that you need to be nice to and show respect to, You yourself.

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    • Since one of the female opinions pointed out that all the girls' comments are being downvoted by guys, I'm completely baffled as to why?

      Like.. just why? I don't see anything wrong with all these opinions. They aren't lies or derogatory.

      I mean, I myself feel bad about being me because I feel like I constantly need to improve myself as for I'm not good enough for anyone. But that's not really a reason to downvote these comments since they have nothing to do with that.

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    • @TheUglyMan I believe you are right.
      Losing weight, like 100lb, is the healthy answer.
      Instant chick magnet.. ;-)
      Over 12 months that is less than 2lb a week.
      Literally a walk in the park.

    • @steevo exactly him becoming a pussy worshiper won't get him shit. Its time he hits the gym.

  • Who else grabbed some popcorn as soon as she/he saw the title? 😂😂
    *reads opinions from bitter guys while eating popcorn*

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    • I didn't. I corrected and pointed to the horizon.

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    • @desidoll Yeah sure! thanks :)

    • 'reads opinions from femiextremists drooling at the mouth at this pathetic piece of feminist appeasing and arse licking.

  • This is brilliant! Well done for speaking about it and realising all those things by yourself. Your positivity and attitude now is great, I do think it's both men and women too, we all come In different shapes and sizes :)

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  • I figured males did that because they want to be women now... And just didn't understand that women act bitchy to get rid of people not attract them...

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  • I think it’s all about different women.
    We’re all so many different shapes and sizes you just have to find the one who likes you and fits you! Xx

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  • What you were describing sounded really toxic, like it could turn into something truly unsavory. So, it's good you had the will power to address that head on. I think you took the time to see beyond your own ego, and that's a really tough thing to do, to see the flaws you have and how they affect your relationships.
    I do think this will fall on a few deaf ears, there are some really awesome men on GaG but also really hurt people who need love but don't understand they are scaring away people, and then there are others who will feel offended, even if this doesn't apply to them, for whatever reasons.

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    • "I do think this will fall on a few deaf ears, there are some really awesome men on GaG but also really hurt people who need love but don't understand they are scaring away people"

      (Standing ovation) BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! (thundering applause) BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! (tossing a rose on stage) BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!!

  • Nice take! Mind to share if there was a specific moment that made you question your point of view?

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  • That’s remarkable self-awareness for a blue anon.

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  • You should not walk on rail way tracks.

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  • Interesting mytake, well written

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What Guys Said 106

  • First of all, fuck you for feeling the need to remind me, secondly... 300 lbs? No shit women don't want to date you. If anything's holding you back it's your appetite and laziness, not your poor attitude.

    The irony is that women'll praise you here but they'd never dream of touching you in real life.

    Now, there's guys out there who are not obese, they're simply short, ugly, or don't have a sexy personality. These are things they can't control, and they don't get women either. Telling them that they just need to have a positive attitude... that's insulting. People are allowed to be angry when they've been dealt a shitty hand.

    The truth is, you've got absolutely no credibility. Why should anybody listen to you when you'r'e still a virgin after changing your attitude? You haven't once mentioned dieting or exercise, so for all we know you're still delusional and think that you're entitled to a girl because you're positive.

    The reality is that you've just jumped on the bandwagon of people who hate and shame men who have problems with women and are angry about it, so you'll be accepted in at least some regard by the girls you so dearly crave.

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    • Preach brother.

    • Excellent reply. The entire time I read it I was thinking, no this nice guy routine ain't going to work for him either. He'll really be disappointed when he finds out chicks aren't as in to nice guys as they claim.

  • So you turned to being a soyboy, thinking that would get you laid?

    Look, you were right about all the things you claim you used to think.

    But where you went wrong is, you internalized and started hating. Hating yourself for not living up to those standards, no matter how unrealistic they are. Hating females for being what they are, which they can't help.

    And then you went the wrong way with it.

    You were exactly correct in your thoughts before. What you should have done is accept that that's the way it is, and either work to become that ideal or say "To hell with it" and just do whatever you want, and not give the entire thing any more thought.

    You can only change you. You can't change what women want, you can't make them actually start being loyal, you can't make them not be completely mercenary in their interactions with men, you can't change the fact that they'll run off and fuck some guy that makes their pussy tingle even though they've been in a relationshit with another guy for years.

    You. Can't. Change. Anything. Except. Yourself.

    Your physique. Whether you accept reality or try mental gymnastics so the fantasy continues. How you interact with others. Whether you get what you want out of life or you become a doormat.

    It sounds like you're some kind of male feminist. SMH... Put down the feminazi propaganda. Stop eating anything with soy or high fructose corn syrup. Start lifting heavy things. Go for a walk. Eventually change that to a run. When you want something, don't be shy about it. Be assertive and, when the situation warrants it, aggressive. Don't apologize any more, unless you do something to a friend. Don't even consider apologizing for or accepting any of the blame for things that aren't your fault, and especially not for made up bulldrek like "Muh Wage Gap" or "Muh paytreearky".

    Eat right. Exercise. Do the things you enjoy regardless of what anyone else thinks. Be assertive and confident. Forget all the bulldrek you've been fed about women, and start doing what the guys that have a lot of success do (hint, it doesn't involve kissing their asses, 'respecting' them, or buying stuff).

    Most importantly, stop giving a damn what anyone thinks about you. You'd be surprised how many people start to like or admire you, how many women get attracted to you, etc, when you simply stop giving any shits what other people think and do exactly whatever the hell YOU want.

    Good luck!

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  • You do realize that you could f*ck hookers right?
    And good looking ones at that. Just wear a condom.

    Or, if that feels too risky, grab some ass at a strip club.

    I haven't done the hooker thing, but thats because i still feel like i got options and knowing that i slept with hookers would destroy my chances with a lot of women.

    I have grabbed ass at strip clubs tough...
    Its somewhat satisfying

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  • Interesting theory, but it has already failed the reality test!

    Dude! I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this politically correct approach to women will only create more problems for you than it solves. My advice?

    1. Forget about women for right now and just concentrate on making self improvements that will make YOU feel better about yourself.

    2. Lose some fucking weight! Not to attract women, but to avoid dying young of a heart attack at 40 years of age.

    3. Start working out and get fucking ripped!

    4. Concentrate on your career! You'll need an above average income that nobody can take away from you.

    5. When you're ready financially, the McMansion and the expensive care an absolute necessity.

    If you can discipline yourself now to complete these five steps than your relationship with women will automatically improve exponentially! Why? Because you'll have transformed yourself into a "catch" or an "alpha male" so you'll have more women chasing after you that you'll possibly have time for. Give it a try! Hope this helps...

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    • @ Anonymous Pay attention to this guy. Most of what he says is true.

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    • @martinxcv castratedwhiteguy although a little zealous, is mostly correct.

  • Hating is a female is not good. But hating men is not good too.
    #Feminism and #Metoo have started from equality movement to men hating so now they are facing the consequences.
    Its science, every action has equal and opposite reaction.
    So if you hate men and manipulate men then you're going to get that hate back. Its all science and spiritual people call it karma.
    I dont know whats so much fuss about it.

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  • Women and men owe each other a base level of respect. A gal doesn't have to go somewhere with me, unless she promised to and then fails to honor her own word.

    But "I don't owe You is no excuse for anyone to go out of their way to be rude. I've met quite a few girls who were over the top rude for no reason.

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  • Feminism was never started to go where it has gone now.
    And now we have metoo movement aswell. I mean wtf. It ain't supposed to be like that.
    Thats the reason why you see so many angry men in comments. And thats exactly the reason why movements like mgtow are growing so rapidly.

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  • I skimmed through your wall of text. Yes nobody owes me a damn thing. Likewise I don't owe anyone a damn thing either. Also that's a terrible mentality to have to think people owe you something. Do good and don't expect anything in return and don't take stuff personal. Sometimes people are just being kind.

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  • Dude are you out of your mind? Dont you have any self respect?
    No one has to "hate women". But putting your balls in a box and handing it over to women is also not something you should do.
    You should see things as they are.

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  • Good luck on your journey.

    I'm glad you wrote this - there are a lot of people on here (and not only guys) who could learn a lot from it.

    Time flies, and they're wasting the best years of their lives being bitter.

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  • The truth is you can be ugly and have a girl; you just need to have power, money or fame. You need to be ambitious and yet exciting enough. Is it worth it to change who you are to satisfy the expectations of someone else? All this for ejaculation and “company” of someone who will leave you anyway?

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  • Society to Men: "You're not entitled to love."
    Society to Women: "There's someone out there for you, everyone deserves to find true love!"

    Seems fair.

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    • The first statement should apply to women just as much, I agree.

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    • @Shadow44 calling them ugly, freaks, creeps, weirdos etc.

    • @martinxcv Exactly especially "creeps" when they're not being creepy. Though creep comes more from a guy showing his interest.

  • Big respect to you my man! Well done! It's really good, that you have figured out how it works and it's a wonder.

    It's funny to see how you have addressed those types of (bitter and lonely) guys and their actual problem and rather than taking the hint they resort to ad hominem or defensive counterstrikes and call you a white knight (been there, done that).

    In fact those types of guys, that you have described have actually responded to you with those attacks and upvote the others of their alikes.

    www.researchsnipers.com/.../wow-player-794289.jpg

    But so what. They have made their choice as did we all at this point.

    I was there, where you were myself and your description is on point! Fortunately I was able to be redeemed in time. Now recently I have managed to find an amazing lady looking forward to spend time with me again :)

    Being nice is just one thing and can get you only so far.
    Being a good person without feeling those entitlements will get you going and you are the driver. Don't crash.

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    • You do realise he still hasn't been laid. He's had the same results his always had lol. He's just jumping on the white knight hype train.

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    • @Jon_25 astria blocked me too 😆
      That tells a lot about herself. She's a B.

    • @Jon_25 I'm blocking people back permanently and they're out of my sight, out of my mind. I recommend you do the same.

  • Well, it's good to know you're working through that. For me, I'm in a place these days where I'm not sure if I even want to be in any more relationships not because I think women should owe me something but because I'm not sure if I can reconcile with and tolerate many women's mindsets and attitudes about life, what they think is important, and even their own outlooks on men. I believe this is how a lot of other guys are feeling too.

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  • I am bitter and I was filled with anger, but even from where I stand I can tell you that you are making a mistake.
    You are morphing into a blue-pill mangina, which is what women say that they want but is actually 180 degrees to what they really want.
    Ignore everything that women say. Instead, watch for whom they spread their legs. It is always that criminal-looking sociopathic bad boys who are the opposite of what you seek to become.
    The transformation that you say you are undertaking will result in the Friend Zone, at best.
    If you want women, you need to go to a gym, lose all the excess weight, becomes dedicated student of a martial art and present a more masculine appearance.
    Even join the National Guard (I assume that you are in the USA).
    You almost certainly need a makeover, too.
    Find an up-market male boutique and have the (probably gay) men who work there give you a new wardrobe and a whole new look. I hate to admit it, but queer men have much better dress sense than straight men.
    Read some books on communication, such as Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends And Influence People; Anthony Robbins' Awaken The Giant Within; and The Instant Millionaire, by Mark Fisher.

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  • An excellent, soul-searching take and one that needs to be heard by more than one fellow on GAG, judging from the negative questions regularly asked.
    I wish you the very best for finding a woman who enriches your life.
    ~JSmith

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  • White knight mode only attracts internet likes. Unfortunately in the outside world things work quite differently.

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  • I'm not disagreeing with most of this. However, I know bitter men who get girlfriends, and cheerful, optimistic men who struggle to get women. I don't think attitude matters as much as money, social status, and other superficial qualities in dating these days.

    I mean, nobody owes you a thing-you're right. I can technically cuss out someone for no reason. I can be a racist (as long as I don't tell anyone). I can ignore anyone who tries to talk to me. I can make fun of a fat person. These are all legal-but does this make it right? Did you ever think people wouldn't be bitter IF people weren't ostracizing them for no legitimate reason?

    I say we become more accepting as people, and we'll have less of these bitter people on the internet.

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  • That's good, but even if you don't want to lose weight, there are plenty of bigger women who won't have a problem with it. I do recommend that you lose as much as you can, i. e., down to 200 or so, if you can. But do it for yourself. The main thing is for you to build confidence.

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  • I don't think turning into a SJW white knight is going to help you get laid. The way you were thinking before was right. Women do want to be banged by Chad Thundercock

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    • You don't turn into an SJW by self-awareness and by being a less judgmental person. And the Chad comment was quite immature. Being good-looking is somewhat important (it differs), but personality, attitude, and intelligence (in some cases), are prioritised by many females.

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