Before I begin let me tell you a little about myself; I am a 23, 6’, 300lbs man who has never been on a date with a girl let alone have a relationship or sex. Like many other men out there I was extremely bitter about the whole situation.
I wondered why other guys had such great luck with girls and had fulfilling relationships and sex lives, while I had nothing but envy for those guys. An envy that grew into bitterness, and which clouded my judgement. Instead of looking inward to see my own weaknesses and areas in need of improvement, I externalized this and projected my problems on to other people.
I thought to myself that all women wanted an Adonis and would settle for no less than perfection. I thought to myself, why would any women want me when they could find and probably have already been with a man who was well-endowed. I thought to myself, why would any women want a man who doesn’t have a six pack and is ugly. These negative thoughts and so many more clouded my judgement so much that I was beginning to lose touch between what was the truth and what were gross generalizations.
Now, let me tell you the bitter truth I had to realize on my own. The issues that I had worried about were nobody else’s problem but my own. It was difficult to realize that all my negative views on women, dating, sex, relationships, etc. were based primarily on irrational thinking and time spent away from reality reading the postings of random people on the internet.
It was my poor attitude that was holding me back and made me even more depressed and bitter than I already was. After the clouds had cleared I realized just how irrational my thinking was in seeing women as some evil force out there oppressing nice guys and banging every big dicked stud they came across. I realized the simple fact that women do not owe me anything, that I shouldn’t be nice to them just so I can get into their pants but to just be nice for the sake of it.
I am still a virgin and have never dated, but now I am working towards eliminating that divide I created between myself and women. Today I believe strongly in issues such as the importance of consent, a women’s right over her own body, that it is okay for a woman to be sex positive and open with her sexuality, and the belief in treating women as equals. As I improve myself I become ever more confident that one day I may be able to find someone who can love me.
I know that trying to rationalize with the bitter and depressed is a Sisyphean task and usually turns into flogging a dead horse, but I honestly hope that another guy in a similar situation as myself can take some advice from this and to work on improving his negative attitude and discovering how he can improve the situation he is in.