Hello GaG community! :) i don't know you guys very well but i figured there's gotta be someone out in the world whose going through the same issues as I was. So for all you guys out there who relate with me, "why we need to be single right now?"
The Problem:
So from a young age, did you always want to get into a relationship? I did, not understanding or never hearing about this problem. The problem was, once I got into 6th grade and my oblivious walls came crashing down I learned what it was like to be rejected. And that love is more than the guy with the pretty eyes across the classroom. Yeah, I mean these are great things to learn, but out of being rejected I kinda realized how much I wanted to be in a relationship. That's the problem, it killed me, I was hungry off of it, I wanted to live off of it. I just wanted to be liked and accepted so bad. I wanted to have that connection with someone. As I felt this, I assumed it would destructive to others too.
(the picture above depicts one of the things i really wanted or imagined a relationship would be like)
Why it's destructive:
You can only love someone when you love yourself
So once I got into 8th grade I had liked almost every guy that had sent me some sort of comfort or made me feel accepted in some sort of way. As long as he accepted me, I liked him. My ex even said "you like everyone." But what I really should have been looking to do was to accept myself, rather then someone accepting me.
I would have stayed in a toxic relationship then be alone
I ignored red flags or didn't care for them so I didn't care for myself. Ghosting, bringing a friend on a date, forgetting my birthday, thirty minutes late, cancelling last minute before meeting the parents, not helping me when I a dropped things because he was didn't want his parent seeing me, pushing me for something I advised was wrong, I could name more. But the only reason why I stayed with these guys even though they all showed these red flags, was that... I was too afraid to be alone. I would tell myself that he was a great guy and all people have their flaws. It's true all people do have their flaws, but what I failed to realize was that... some of these things really showed that he didn't care, and just like me didn't want to be alone or only wanted the attention.
It was my one thing that kept me going
I neglected really finding myself. I was so focused on fitting this body type, this personality type, that people liked. As a result, I neglected other things I really wanted in life. School is ending for me in a few years and I realized that while high school is so focused on the relationships, we really are forgetting other things in life. I didn't care enough to pay attention to a class so I could actually find another passion. Instead. I asked for an extension because I was so hell bent on a guy kissing me on the cheek. I missed track practice so that I could go on dates. In the middle of class, I texted him instead of paying attention to my course. I mean I had no other goal, until recently, other then to get married to a man I love and maybe have kids. If that didn't happen then I felt like I was nothing.
What to change:
- It sounds immensely scary to me but I decided to be single. Not just single, but single knowing that no one right now has a crush on me, and being okay with that.
- I've decided that I going to always love myself, as much as I love everyone else.
- I'm going to focus on other parts of my life that I've neglected
To the people who are struggled with this problem too, I hope we can all work on this together :)
- Best of luck! tongađ
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