Characters development depends on many factors; genes, parents, cultures, religion views, type of education, friends, our mind's influence and others. The development of character during growth from childhood to adulthood is in general relatively fast, but then as you become an adult it becomes more difficult to change, because from the early childhood until you reach twenty, your body goes through different phases, and as the biology of the body develops, characters develop just as much, even though your own influence on that development is pretty minimal. This development of character from childhood to adulthood is achieved by the emotional stability we gain and because of the experiences we gained through growing up. But once these physical changes decrease drastically, it becomes less likely that one would be able to change unless they really want to.
This is the reason why you should never control your partner or try to change them to fit you better, especially if they have grown up enough, because as I tried to explain, at young ages, you have a better chance of changing someone. The problem that will always face you is that you wouldn't know if they are trying to change for you, or for themselves, and if your partner doesn't really want to change and they're just doing it for you, they will always shift back to their old habits no matter what they or you do. And the reason for this is that these habits have developed with their characters as they grow up, these habits are at the top of a pyramid that has some beliefs and values for its base, they themselves may not even understand how this base has been possessed as they grow up, because of the many factors that affect their growth. So all what one would be able to do is change a certain habit for just sometime and consistency would be hard, because your character will always shift you back to your fitting habit; as it fits your character better than the one that's been forced upon you.
Change requires a deep knowledge of the character, and this is a weapon that's generally not in our disposal.
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