I was nominated to write a #WhatIFindAttractiveChallenge by a young friend and G@G user, @Travis_Skyles. I rarely respond to challenges but I like this guy and don’t want to disappoint him, so here is myTake on five things that I find attractive in a woman.
1. INTELLIGENCE WITHOUT OVERBEARING EGO
If I pretended that I am not an intelligent person, that would be false modesty . . . and false modesty is not modesty at all. I know that I am intelligent because I know the results of my IQ assessment and I know how I performed as an undergraduate and as a law student. To be happy in a relationship, I know that I need a woman who is intelligent.
I want a woman who remains aware of national and international events, who has an appreciation for culture, who can discuss current news stories without sounding like she is simply repeating what she heard on talk radio.
BUT . . . intelligent people sometimes act as if they are the most intelligent person in the house. They want to be bossy because they know more than everyone else. You’ve dated someone like that, right?
On several occasions, I have found a woman who is intelligent but who listens to others, who is not dictatorial, who is willing to be an equal partner instead of wanting to be the HMFIC. Yes, those are nice women!
2. ENOUGH SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS TO OCCASIONALLY BE EMBARRASSED
I don’t know why but I have always been attracted to a woman who is capable of feeling embarrassed. Maybe I am attracted because a woman who reveals her embarrassment is revealing a vulnerability, and a woman who will reveal her vulnerability to me trusts me.
I WANT to be trusted by my partner.
3. SLIGHTLY SHY, SLIGHTLY INTROVERTED, SLIGHTLY NERDY
I don’t really like women who are impressed with themselves. I don’t do well with women who are tragically hip! I like women who at least know what’s trendy but they don’t care if they wear the current “latest and greatest” label of jeans. I like girls who won’t hold themselves back from pursuing an interest because it “isn’t cool.”
4. DEDICATION TO THE CONCEPT OF PARTNERSHIP
Relationships aren’t always 50/50 and that’s okay, but I certainly want a partner who is willing to give and not just take. It is EXTREMELY endearing to know that my partner wants to be as fair to me as she is to herself!
5. ENOUGH CONFIDENCE TO BE OVERTLY SEDUCTIVE
Obviously, a romantic relationship includes a physical relationship and I want a woman who is not afraid to express her needs. If I walk in the house after a day at the office, she grabs my hand, drags me into the bedroom, and starts telling me how much she needs me . . . I am her devoted partner for life!
I want to know that I am wanted and she showed me his much she wants me. I want to feel trusted and I know that she felt confident enough to express herself even though she is the self-consciousness, slightly shy, slightly introverted, and slightly nerdy girl who I described above.
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That is what I find attractive in a woman. Is there any woman who meets all of these criteria? Yes, she and I started living together last weekend.