Respect Your S/O's Privacy Or Stop Being With Them

Well,hello everyone.

It's me again.

We all have been there or we all go there, at some point we started having or we'll start having doubts about our S/O being loyal or in general being insecure about our relationship.

It's absolutely normal, and happens in probably ALL relationships at some point cause we are humans after all. And there are these cases that it's neither's fault.

I know there will be a plenty of people that won't like what I'm about to say so in the comments or pms that will attack me with these kind of insults :

"You are 16, what would you know?"

"You are a baby, go drink your milk or something.."

" LOL you are 16 you shouldn't have an opinion."

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm talking now.

And for your info, in 9 days I'll be 17.

----Back to the topic.

Like you read in the title of the mytake, I'm one of those people that are really against guys or girls that don't respect their partner's privacy. No matter what their reasons are.

Many of you that belong in this team will give excuses,or as you call them valid reasons, like "I thought he/she was cheating, I wanted to check in order to be sure and have a healthy relationship again." or even things like "I was right though for checking his/her phone or following him/her around, he/she was indeed a cheater!"

And you know what?

Maybe your instrict is right, maybe your little I-want-to-be-a-007-and-find-the-truth actions actually have a result and find something.

But is the fact that you are curious about something,enough for you to abuse someone's privacy and lose your dignity?

The simple answer is, no.

Not only because you may be wrong about the whole situation and actually offend your partner for not trusting them, but also because you will besically go against what is morally right and the bases of your relationship that will only have the result of you feeling terrible after.

If you do start having this uneasy feeling that he/she is is cheating (fact that may or may not be true), I advise you to break up.

You will not be satisfied even if you have absolute control over his/her life and to whom he/she talks to.

If you start doubting about everything, the person you are with, just doesn't give you the safety you need.

So don't loose your dignity, instead, break up.

Respect Your S/O's Privacy Or Stop Being With Them

That's it for today babydolls.

Till next time, stay sassy.

- AngelicEmpress


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AngelicEmpress is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Excellent! My privacy is sacrosanct. I will let you into my life completely , but i have my privacy as well.. and this can not be violated. Trust me or leave me. If you can't trust me, you must have insecurities that I can't fix by being me. So Go.. will it be sad? sure... but i will still respect you.

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  • Well said, very wise for one so young!

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Right on sister! If you can't trust your person why even be with them?

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  • I love your takes.

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What Guys Said 44

  • You have to also look at it from the perspective of a married person who has kids and a lot invested in their marriage.
    It's not as easy for us to just leave, break up the family and move out if you have doubts. You need a bit of hard evidence before going through with a major life change like that and possibly an expensive divorce.
    Some people screw around and do not want to lose their marriage.
    They will do anything to keep their comfy situation at home and to continue their affairs.
    They will manipulate and lie and take advantage until you damn near lose your mind.
    They will look you in the eyes and lie to your face over and over again.
    In those situations I think it's fair to pay attention to what that person is doing and to start putting together the pieces.
    Privacy is important, but sometimes as you may find out later in life, people really suck and can do a lot of damage.
    I used to think just like you.
    I trusted people no matter what and gave them the benefit of the doubt.
    I felt good about myself.
    I had lots if dignity, but please be careful because some people will absolutely take advantage of that.
    You'll be shocked.

    Trust is earned, it's not just given and people with nothing to hide, hide nothing.

    I truly hope you have great relationships that never require you to go tbrough some of the stuff I've been through.
    It might change your perspective.

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  • First I'd like to say that seeing if someone goes where they say they are going is not invading/abusing their privacy, as long as you're in public. That's just not trusting them. Which isn't always wrong either since everyone tells lies sometimes in relationships.

    Secondly I find it weird how first you state it's completely normal to feel insecure about your relationships and that it happens in all relationships, but later you state that if someone gets that feeling "they should break up" So following your advice there would literally be no long term relationships.

    Now to address the main point, you are right that people should strive to find partners they can completely trust and when they find someone like that they should not distrust them and go invading their privacy to satisfy their curiosity or insecurities. That being said that's unfortunately not how it works in real life. Take my uncle for example, his ex wife had started acting suspiciously and like she had something to hide, I heard that at first he thought it was only a phase so he gave it some time but it got worse and worse so he ended up finding out what it was all about (by invading her privacy and looking through her emails) turns out she had been cheating on him and had already been in contact with lawyers about getting the custody of their children and most of their belongings.

    This gave him time to not only gather evidence of her cheating (which obviously helped in court) but also get a lawyer of his own and prepare for what was about to come. (She still got primary custody for some reason)

    So even if in a perfect world you should always undoubtedly trust your partner in this specific scenario snooping around might have saved him from never being able to see his kids again, not to mention being unprepared for a legal battle. I think this is why you get so many comments about you being too young to understand. Not to mention this mytake makes it sound like intruding on someones privacy is worse than the other person betraying them in the first place.

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  • Disrespecting privacy would be an instant break-up for me instead i would use a different tool in my relationships which i'd do every once in a while. A moment where you ask your significant other "Is there anything i need to know or that you should tell me about?" and they then have to speak the truth (Otherwise its an instant breakup) which you can then use to fix the relationship if there is anything and talk it out in a calm manner. Once they either have spoken up or confirmed there isn't anything they ask you the same question and its your turn. After that trust your partner to have spoken the truth and put your mind at rest or ask them about certain topics if you really need to so they can put those to rest as well.

    Its all about communication for me and putting these tiny thoughts to rest early by just informing your partner you have them early on. My future girl can ask me anytime and ill gladly proof her wrong but the moment she goes trough my stuff without informing me about it my trust in her is gone.

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  • I have been on both sides. I have snooped and been snooped. Well turns out that the less you try to Snoop and respect privacy the lower the chances of infidelity, unless they suck as a human.

    When you're overly jealous and controlling some people get fed up and either cheat or leave

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  • So, it's a trust issue. If you don't have trust in your partner, then you should just break it off because it will lead to more doubts.
    For me, I don't have anything to hide. Want to go through my stuff, go ahead, you won't find anything. But, at least give me the courtesy of asking "Mind if I look through this?" The likely answer will be "Go ahead."

    But, if you feel like you need to sneak around to go through stuff. There is a larger issue that needs to be dealt with.

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  • I don't care what my SO s are doing or thinking nor would I spy on them. As long as she respects mine, she will never have a problem with me and her's.

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  • I personally think that you should look into things, if things start to look suspicious or at least ask about their strange behavior. Granted if your SO wants to cheat they'll cheat regardless but sometimes weird behavior can be another issue all together so I would recommend at the very least talking about it. Especially if it makes you uncomfortable. I understand that everyone has there own view on this topic this is just my experience. Thanks for reading

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  • I agree. A relationship where one part thinks she/he has to spay on the partner, cannot result in anything positive in my eyes. Its almost a lost cause in my eyes.
    But i have to admit, sometimes people are just too much in love with each other to break up for it.
    I trust my girlfriend and i have no need to spay on her. But i dont think i would break up with her even if that was the case, even if its the most logical thing to do in a situation like that

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  • Oh, golly, ALMOST SEVENTEEN! Who the fuck would be impressed by that. You're still just a baby, go drink your milk. If you weren't just an emotional and mental child, you would feel no need to point out your age. You are acting like a four-year old who must proclaim "I am four AND A HALF!!!"

    As for "privacy", if your lover is obsessive about "privacy" and hides things from you, it means she's a cheating bitch and needs to be kicked to the curb, no need to snoop.

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  • I am often in the house, when my gal is out, and vice versa. Never once have I felt remotely tempted to go into her computer, or rummage through her things. I think I'd feel really dirty if I did something like that.

    I wouldn't want to lose that trust for anything.

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  • All women cheat. They're simply incapable of loyalty. They can't be loyal any more than a donkey can pilot the space shuttle. There's no reason to Snoop to find confirmation of this, that's like going to an observatory and doing a lot of physics equations to figure out if the sun will rise tomorrow.

    If you're the least bit suspicious, dump her. Plain and simple. No drama, no second chances, no accusations, no explanation. Simply say something like "This isn't working" or "It's time for each of us to move on".

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    • Hahaha NOT all women. Sexist much?

    • Show All
    • You read some things on the internet that anyone can write and you had a crappy experience with dating in the past, and that made you believe what you wanted to believe.
      Such a pity that there are people your age and still are so problematic

    • So your little Take is invalid. If it was a matter of one bad experience, I'd have stopped after being falsely accused of rape at 18. Or after the bitch I was seeing in my early 20's got pregnant during a time when I was in the field and hadn't seen her in over a month but she tried to pass the kid off as mine. Or after my now-ex wife decided she wanted to be a roommate with access to my checking account. Hell, I I probably would have stopped before I ever began, since I've been treated like shit by females for as long as I can remember. Up until I started looking like a thug. Suddenly I had more attention than ever before. It's like they're following a script or a computer program. Or everything I've read about their nature was true.

      And thus, I don't do relationshits, because I know too much.

      "One bad experience"... fuckin LOL.

  • It's right for anything but a marriage with kids and shared property. You might have to turn into an 007 to protect yourself and your rights to be with your kids. And besides, a lot of cheating goes on in couples who have been together for ages. Many people pretend they don't see and don't hear their spouses' lovers.

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  • Remember.

    You don't need "proof" to leave. Relationships are voluntary. If someone seems controlling, evasive, jealous, or dishonest, is at your discretion whether you want to stay or leave. I would recommend going with your first instinct, since it's ultimately a decision you have to live with.

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  • Easy to say. So yeah I agree but let's not encourage people who takes advantage of it. I mean there are times that if you catch your partner cheating, they act like you're the one who should be sorry and accuse you of being insecure even if you're not. Mostly in guy's cases. So my point is they sometimes seem loyal until they're caught. So I'm on both sides. I don't just let girls take advantage of me but it doesn't mean I don't give them privacy at all.

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  • I'm just writing something here to get the 6 Xper points, i didn't really bother reading all that nonsense above.

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  • "I was right though for checking his/her phone or following him/her around, he/she was indeed a cheater!"

    ...🙄🙄🙄
    Nein. I'm staying with that *if* I'm ready to break up and do this before breaking up.

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  • This sounds good in theory until you find shit in your SO phone showing shadiness. If you and your partner don’t have open phones, someone is likely hiding something. Should be no secrets...

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  • Agreed. I dont have anything to hide in my phone for an example, but if a girl snooped through it behind my back I would dump her instantly, literally the same second I would kick her out of my house. That is pure disrespect for the partner and is absolutely never justified

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  • There is no privacy for your significant other otherwise somebody ends up cheating with someone who lives states away that they met on a dating website

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  • If someone is insulting you without any reason this person really doesn't give a F bout u so whats the point of even being with them :)

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  • Good take. Lack of trust, especially in that form makes a relationship fall apart. Also:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb2q1S-O4WY

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  • I'm not going to say all the insults that you have mentioned up there, your 16 and not a child but about your take, somewhat i agree and somewhat i don't agree...

    I agree that sometimes a spouse needs some sort of privacy to relax but about thr phones, accounts and everything else, there shall be no secret, i can search her phone anytime i want and read everything also she will have access to mu phone, between a husband and a wife, there shall be no secret at all...

    Sometimes if her female friend or sibling is telling her a secret, it's okay but generally NO SECRETS between couples... everything is shown and no place for doubts... that's love, there is no my life and your life, it's one life, me and her...

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  • Great take - Maybe ask them first before breaking up but if the mistrust is there you are right break up

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  • I will let you into my life completely , but i have my privacy as well.. and this can not be violated. Trust me or leave me.

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  • As long as she's behaving I respect her privacy but If I think that she's cheating or playing games behind my back that's a big problem

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  • Blanket, 100%, no lines crossed, no lines blurred, no incursions into their private life. Full stop. No buts, no ifs, zero tolerance for breaching boundaries. I knew my exSOs phone password and Mac password but only touched the things when asked or to make a phone call if I misplaced my phone. I would never delve into anything other than the reason I was there. To watch a film (with her) or to make a call (with her knowledge). I have nothing to hide but respecting boundaries is a two way street. I expect the exact same from my SO because they are my rules. No room for discussion so it doesn’t turn into one. The homogeneous society with live in is seeping into the micro interactions we have with each other. I’m not ok with it.

    Suspicion is NOT exempt from the rule. Be human, get a backbone and talk. Use your gut instead of snooping like a sociopath.

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  • I personally don't care if my loved one has access to my social media or m phone. I have no secrets with her. She can even get on my account here if she choose.

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  • If you don't have a relationship with a person that you can't just flat out ask if they're cheating or not then you're not in a relationship you should be in

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  • Trust is something that I give , but to my partner there are no secrets
    I would trust her
    Well, I did that before , and got shit but I don't care

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  • Pssst! you’re 16. Go eat nachos and get a pizza delivered to me till tomorrow😝😂

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What Girls Said 16

  • If you do start having this uneasy feeling that he/she is cheating (fact that may or may not be true), I advise you to break up - or why not actually TALK about it to them? I believe that in every relationship, communication is key. It's not the only thing but it is important. If you are starting to get uneasy or paranoid that your SO is cheating then talk to them before going for something as extreme as breaking up.

    I agree to some extent that there should be privacy out of respect for your significant other but to be honest, this is someone whom you're sharing your life with. Whom you're going to be open and vulnerable with. There shouldn't be some big, heavy secrets kept between two partners. This will create tension and distance from one another. Now, if it was some tiny secret that's embarrassing or so then I can see why but a big secret such as sexting with another person, no, that's crossing the line.

    I understand that not respecting your SO's privacy gives off an impression as having trust issues but your SO keeping secrets from you are just as much as a trust issue as well.

    Gosh, why am I actually giving this opinion? I'm 16 myself and single asf.

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  • I don’t believe in “respecting privacy” what the hell do you need “privacy” for when you’re in a relationship. I’m an open person. I don’t mind at all. if my boyfriend thought I was cheating and wanted to go through my phone or read messages to reassure himself then that’s fine. I’m not a very trusting person at alllllllll. Thankfully he tells me everything good and bad. However, I wouldn’t feel bad about going through his phone without his knowledge.

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  • I think the respect has to be mutual if you want to have your own privacy then you should accept the fact that he/she needs his/hers too.
    But there are certain people who don't mind being stalked and controlled by their partner, in that case, both sides will need to talk it out if the other prefer to keep some things private.

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  • Well, you have a well thought out opinion. I do not agree. If my man ever feels insecure and looking at my phone or whatever else, will help him, I'm more than happy for him to do so. I believe that as a partner it's my job to do my best to meet his needs without compromising my own. It doesn't hurt me one damn but to give him free access. As a matter of fact, outside of maybe a diary, i don't need privacy. I share my life with him and that includes my whole life. My actions thoughts needs and feelings. But that is my personal belief.

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    • Agree... when in a mature, intimate relationship. You want, have to share and be open to your partner. Otherwise why get involve in a romantic relatiosnshiop.

    • @midnightmoon05 exactly! If you need privacy, stay single lol

  • respect their privacy... only if they are hiding things, should you worry...

    his cell buzzes... he grabs it so you cannot see who is texting him... you catch a word or two... "... fuck... tonight... yummy cock"...

    then you get concerned.

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  • I agree. If you have probable cause to believe your partner is cheating, maybe it's best to move on.

    Great Take!! And I don't mean "for a 16 yr old."

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  • I give him space and I definitely don't care to fool around with his phone.

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  • I think being curious is okay, it just all depends on how you act on it.

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  • Yes well respecting privacy of your significant other is something everyone should know and apply this to their relationships

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  • Lemme explain why privacy is still important even if two people in a relationship are really open to one another.

    Suppose you are a woman and your bestie sent you a picture in a really skimpy piece of lingerie asking if she should buy it. And she is not okay with showing so much skin in public and is actually a very modest dresser. Do you think that your friend will be happy to know that your partner checked your texts and found that picture of her? If I was in that girl's place and get to know that my partner discovered those pics of me, I would die of embarrassment and feel heavily betrayed because she let another guy see MY private stuff. Of course I can send such a picture to a trustworthy friend asking for her help to decide to buy something, and it is something that should be kept between us and us only.

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    • Oh basically i think we should stop talking with other girls uselessly when we have a partner.

      People think its just lack of "freeedom".

      But cutting off connections can sometimes be helpful in relationships

    • It's not about freedom it's about connection. Why would someone cut their connection with their loved ones for a partner? I understand cutting away toxic friends but you should be doing that even when you're single.

      I can't agree with you. There fact is, I could get divorced with my husband and that time my friends would still remain. I won't cut them off my life.

  • My boyfriend has nothing to hide so respect his privacy

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  • I agree.

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  • Good take.

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  • I've heard stories where a guy found out his girlfriend was cheating on him through her phone.

    I've heard the Sam effort girls where they found out they were being cheated on by snooping.

    But their significant others lied like Nixon to them. Denied denied denied

    And you’re aware you could be wrong and don’t want to drop someone they’ve invested in.

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    • I’m cool with my boyfriend having female friends
      But the minute he starts hiding his texts, I already know something isn’t right. If he has to hide it I’m assuming he’s doing something wrong and the times he’s hid his phone from me it was cause he was hiding stuff.. something he admitted months later

      Because I won’t hide anything from my partner. I’d be embarrassed if he read my texts to my guy friends but if he felt insecure, I don’t mind showing them. And it’s gotten him to trust me quickly while I took more time with him

  • Move on if no privacy is granted.

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  • Trust is a must or do not be together.

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