Why we need to stop telling men that they are 'whipped' by their girlfriend

Why we need to stop telling men that they are 'whipped' by their girlfriend

In the UK, when someone (usually his friends) tells a guy that he is 'whipped' by his girlfriend, it often means that his girlfriend wears the trousers and tells him what to do. It's often said as a joke to tease the man for allowing his girlfriend to control him. So why should people stop telling guys they're being whipped by their female partner?

Because it is small things like this that perpetuate and dismiss abusive behaviour towards men.

Whenever I hear someone telling a guy he's whipped, it's often because his girlfriend has prevented him from going out and seeing his friends for example. But wait a second! If you heard your female friend's boyfriend wouldn't let her out to see her friends ever, I think alarm bells would ring and they'd be swiftly told that that isn't acceptable behaviour. So why aren't we doing the same for guys?

Teasing the guy saying he's whipped almost blames the man. It makes out that he's allowing himself to be 'whipped', that he's weak and allowing a woman to control him. It doesn't come down to that. It comes down to the man being in an abusive relationship. It says more about the girl he's with, not him. I'd like to think that you wouldn't blame the victim of an abusive relationship for allowing it to happen because that's not how controlling relationships work. These guys need their friend's support, a friend to say to them that his girlfriend's behaviour isn't healthy, not to be teased.

Memes like this tell men that they're allowing it, there is no accountability for the woman
Memes like this tell men that they're allowing it, there is no accountability for the woman

It is not a healthy relationship to be told what you can and can't do. It's not healthy for your girlfriend to tell you that you can't see your friends or if you do get to see them, you come home to a huge row and stroppy attitude which makes you not want to go out again to avoid the drama. It's not healthy to be told you can't talk to certain people or being made to delete your social media.

I'm not ignoring the fact that when you get into a relationship, there may be some small adjustments and you may have boundaries which are totally acceptable to have, such as asking your partner to text you when they get home so you know they're safe. But I see time and time again, women crossing this line and micro-managing and monitoring their boyfriend so much, that it's like a full time job. That's not healthy for either of you!

There is a worrying amount of guys who are totally oblivious to this unhealthy behaviour. They aren't warned of red flags like girls are and I think this perpetuates domestic abuse against men, by women.

So my message to men out there, if your male friend often says to you that he can't go out because of his girlfriend or tells you some information about his relationship that doesn't sound right, ask yourself how you would view the situation if your friend was a woman and her boyfriend was treating her that way. If after that, you feel like it isn't acceptable behaviour, speak up!

Why we need to stop telling men that they are 'whipped' by their girlfriend

For any women reading this, you're not your boyfriend's mum. You don't have the right to tell him who he can talk to, where he can go, how often he goes out etc. That is controlling behaviour and that would not be accepted if the roles were reversed. He has the right to continue living his life like he did before you came along - you're a big addition to his life, but you're likely not at the centre of it. The issue lies in your own insecurities, not your boyfriend, so instead of trying to control every aspect of another person's life, start taking responsibility for yourself and get help.

Thank-you for reading and I hope that it's altered at least one person's perspective. If one more person can be more perceptive to domestic abuse against men, then I've done my job.

P.S. This has NOTHING to do with fetishes.

Why we need to stop telling men that they are 'whipped' by their girlfriend
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Most Helpful Guys

  • SomeGuyCalledTom

    From what I've observed, the men who get "whipped" are usually very insecure and co-dependent. It's like that old 80s song: "some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused..." I'm NOT advocating for "victim blaming" in any sense; rather, I'm just pointing out that there's a particular kind of guy who is more susceptible to controlling behaviour. But it's not always black and white. A former friend of mine is well under his gf's thumb, and yet he cheated on her repeatedly. So who's to blame in that situation? The controlling girlfriend or the straying boyfriend?

    Toxic relationships are rarely defined by an innocent victim and a malicious control freak. There's usually a mutual co-dependence underlying the controller/ controlled dynamic. (I do separate between "toxic" and "abusive"-- someone can be controlling in nature/ have toxic personality without fitting the criteria for 'abuse'.)

    Thanks for sharing this thoughtful perspective. We let women get away with some truly shocking behaviour just because they're the "weaker sex" and therefore are considered beyond impunity or scrutiny.

    I've made "whipped" comments about guy friends in the past, and this gives me second thoughts on that. But underlying the ball-busting there's often a genuine concern amongst a guy's friend circle. Men reach out to each other the only way they know how: by cracking jokes about a situation at someone else's (or their own) expense. When guys joke with their male friend about being "whipped", there's often an underlying message of "dude, that's not normal that she controls your life like this". Crass humour between male friends has a lot of subtle dynamics that you as a woman may not appreciate from a distance. But not all ball-busting is created equal. If it's genuinely mean-spirited, persistent, and with the intent to cause humiliation and distress, then they are NOT "friends", they are toxic. But if it's done in a way that jokingly calls attention to the real issue, then it can serve an important function.

    • molonski2

      Well written Tom , good points mate.

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    • bailey11

      @Adelphïné I can testify that I don't know of any guy who is as submissive as a woman can be.

    • @Adelphïné Spot on. And guys who DO tolerate being whipped are likely to inspire little else besides resentment from the woman in the long term. Even if, in the beginning, she allows herself the luxury of believing she "wants" a subservient doormat. You're also right that most men wouldn't tolerate being submissive in a relationship (although in the bedroom there's more room for flexibility on who submits to whom at a given time).

  • SwordShield

    AYE AYE! Somebody who can finally see the full picture!

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • devilman666

    Simple, society doesn't protect men, only women. Which is why society doesn't give a fuck that men commit suicide 3 times more often and die on the workplace, on their way to work, and on the battlefield far more often than women.

    In all honesty, thank you. I have a couple questions of my own targetted at trying to open womens eyes to how men are affected by sexism and how improving mens circumstances could help womens circumstances. An example of this sort of came up in your article, though you didn't really seem to touch on it.

    "Because it is small things like this..." behaviour like this also promotes men to take a stand in a bad way. By shaming men for being whipped we essentially say he needs to overpower her and be the one in charge. By telling men they are wrong for not being in control, we tell them they must try to be the ones in control all the time, meaning they need to do the whipping not be whipped.

    With all that said, I like how you focused on the victim aspect, as I said at the start society doesn't tend to view men as victims who need help. We really do need to show how men can be the victims, because in todays society an abusive wife can claim she was abused with little to no evidence and get the man locked up, but even with evidence there is the chance the man will be laughed at when he tells the police that his wife beats him.

    "Then there’s Joshua Miller, whose girlfriend smashed their 2-year-old son’s guitar into his forehead. When the police arrived, however, Miller was the one cuffed. “Men are not looked at as victims,” he told the Los Angeles Timesearlier this month. “People say, ‘A woman can’t hurt you.’”"
    -https://melmagazine. com/en-us/story/what-domestic-violence-against-men-looks-like

    • Hannah591

      It is a real shame. :\

    • It really is, but I think perspectives like this are good, telling men to stand up for themselves and speak out, instead of going the traditional route of becoming either violent or complacent.

  • Kaazsz

    Okay, well now I’m interested in learning about red flags and relationship stuff that women grow up learning but us guys never hear. But I know I won’t get any help on this site lol.

    Does anyone know of any books or maybe a link to a website or something?

    • Snakeyes7

      There’s lots of stuff on YouTube.

    • Hannah591

      I'm glad you're interested in reading up about it! It is after all for your own protection and letting fewer women get away with domestic abuse. Funnily enough, my ex experienced the first one when he was dating someone before me. She was a self confessed drama queen and that was partly why he ran for the hills. www.artofmanliness.com/.../

      Generally, red flags of domestic abuse can be transferred over to men too! www.newhopeforwomen.org/red-flags-for-domestic-abuse

  • Grobmate

    You are 100% right. It's worsened by the fact that often Men are powerless. Regardless of how the relationship ends if he stands up he will in most cases lose his assets, acess to kids and possibly have to pay alimony or forfeit retirement savings/pensions. Predatory women know this. The gynocentric legal system enables it further.

    Are all Men victims? NO. a lot of them are survivors though. There is no assistance given to male victims of intimite partner violence. Nit even shelters.

    It isn't going to change soon either. Why do men belittle those "whipped" Men? I don't know. Maybe to try and shock them to their senses. Maybe they new them before they were with her, and see the husk of a man their friend has become.

    It's a huge problem in Australia.
    https://youtu.be/Ei7e1KyEIbQhttps://youtu.be/0UB51Y9YFZAhttps://youtu.be/cgvHY--xeC4

    Their self esteem is eroded to nothing the same as women abused by their husband. But they have no advicacy.

    This is where MGTOW, "happily single" etc comes from. Now they are shamed if they stay and if they leave they are shamed as incels..

    Why are more men homeless and why are 75% of suicides men? Is it because of violent or abusive women? NO. It is because they have no advocacy or support.

    • Grobmate

      *why are most homless people men?

      Great take

    • AYE AYE! Now we see a rare sight, someone who can actually figure it out. If you search up "Empowering messages for men" on google, there is absolutely nothing. Not kidding.

  • Browneye57

    Well, the term is actually 'pussy-whipped', but okay.
    And yeah, on point.
    The problem is we have way too many weak-sauce men. If a man can't or won't lead in the relationship then she'll take over. They hate it, but will do it if they have to. That's when you get this dynamic, you see them all the time. A mini-van and a herd of kids, and she treats him like one of the kids. Disgusting.
    But guess what? It's HIS fault!!

    • Hannah591

      That is one way of saying it, but I often hear people from where I'm from just say 'he's whipped' as well as 'pussy-whipped'. I don't think anyone should 'lead' anyone in a relationship, it should be entirely equal whenever possible. I don't mean the woman 'dominating' the relationship and treating him like less of her partner, I mean a woman who is being domestically abusive. Men seem to be totally unaware of the signs of domestic abuse and I think that's perpetuating it, whilst also putting the blame on the man.

    • Show All
    • Browneye57

      @Hannah591 - silly girl, things are never 'equal' in a relationship. Never are, never will be.
      Next you'll tell us you want a dead-broke guy that breaks down into tears every time you do. ;)

    • Badballie

      Did not want a herd so as soon as I had enough children, I had a vasectomy, the best thing I ever did. Freedom from having more children worked for me.

  • Iron_Man

    This is a big time problem for me in my life all my friends are pussy whipped and I no longer have a high quality friendship with them it's very minimum through texting only once in a blue moon. It's not like It used to be. And before when I had my girlfriend I saw more of them than I do when I was single, that's because of their wives I'm thinking she's afraid that when I see my friends alone one on one that I'll
    Bring females around like I used to when they were single and they will be tempted to have an affair the wives think. So instead the wives won't risk that so it's always meet us there and here with his whole entire family when my friend and his wife come down from Orlando to Miami his wife will never let us meet alone it so sucks. This happens all the time not just with me but other people in the world and that's a serious problem going on and something needs to be done about it and the men in the world need to step up and take action instead of being pussy whippped.
    If I were to hang out with my friends one on one again I would never bring around girls anymore knowing that they're married.

    • Badballie

      This is an ongoing issue in the west. Men have allowed women to take control, then men almost become genderless. When things get out of control they call the men in to sort out all the crap caused by emotional decisions. Women are not supposed to be doing all this controlling, etc Eg Hilary Clinton and now Theresa May.

    • Iron_Man

      I hear you man and one of my friends wife her father is a former prison Warden, she's super tough for sure

  • btbc92

    Actually, you got the terminology of the slang 'whipped' wrong. Whipped means a man who is very dedicated to his wife or partner and will do anything to make sure that both of them are happy. He respects the boundaries in the relationship or marriage. This has nothing to do with abuse. What your explaining is men being abused by their girlfriends who have no boundaries or a sense of what a healthy relationship is a life. There is nothing wrong with a partner enforcing the standards of the relationship. What's wrong is trying to control them. However, do not do this in marriage. Whatever the spouse says goes or don't get married.

    • Hannah591

      https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/whipped It means being controlled by a partner to an unreasonable degree. The definition I used is correct, at least in the area I live. My main point is the issue of controlling male partners and it being dismissed as the man just being told what to do when it's often a sign that there's more going on and the woman is often bordering abusive.

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    • btbc92

      @InTimoreDei The is no point going over my head. Except that we need to learn to mind our business with people and focus on our own lives. I sick of having to hear this garbage from people calling others 'whipped'. Learn to mind your business, is what I say and let others do what they have to do in their relationships.

    • btbc92

      They got in it, they can get out of it. They're not helpless. Nobody forces them to be or stay in a relationship. Many of you just lack common sense and too busy coveting other's things and possessions.

  • motownplayer2000

    I think you are right in some ways. It does lead to unhealthy relational behaviors between partners, yet, it probably was unhealthy to begin with. No one can tell the other what to do, they can suggest. But the path they take, if they don't want to consider there partner is up to them. However, bring it back to the whipped thing. I think the words are wrong, I think it's more considerate of the other person's wishes. If I feel it's merited, then I will gladly accept. If not then no.

    • Hannah591

      If you had a female friend that said that her boyfriend doesn't let her out to see her friends and he made her delete her social media etc. Would you laugh and say she's being 'whipped' by her boyfriend?

    • Show All
    • Such as the controlled being of low self esteem, or being afraid of their well being.

    • Again, please review cases to where people of those instances finally made the choice to not live that way anymore. I know it's hard to break fear.. I've been afraid of things in my life that I said I would never be able to over come. But I have. I made that choice to not let my fear win. Most things in life are a choice, only things that aren't are being born and dying those thing will happen eventually. My mom stayed with my abusive dad because she made the choice to stick it out for us kids. Probably the wrong choice, but she choose to stay there. And now to this day, she would tell you, it was a choice.. and countless other women I've talked to who have been in the same situation would say the same thing. All I'm saying, in my opinion, that's an excuse to not move on, create change, and better yourself from a bad situation. More fear of the unknown, then anything else.

  • AynonOMouse

    Yeah, I've seen that and one of my friends whenever he did manage to visit, his wife would call him every 30 minutes mad and arguing wanting him to be home instead. He was a teacher and he only visited me 4 times per year during the vacations and even that little bit she would get pissed.
    Normally society in the USA doesn't care about men, that is why people don't speak up and just make fun of the men that do.

  • purplepoppy

    Good take but truth is men do need a kick up the backside on occasions. As the saying goes, behind every great man is a woman nagging him to death.

    • Hannah591

      Yes, they may need some persuasion to do things sometimes but that's different to preventing him from leading a normal life because of your own insecurities.

    • englisc

      Not true. Nagging just drags men down generally.

    • Robertcw

      Yeah. Without a good woman many men sorta wander aimlessly doing whatever.

      It’s true.

  • spartan55

    I remember an old girlfriend tried running that game on me. She told me I couldn't go out with my friends. I laughed, and asked her if she was talking to the hired help... as I walked out the door.

  • Waffles731

    If I'm being whipped, then it better be hidden from prying eyes and in the bedroom.
    In all seriousness, a relationship is a partnership not a one way street and people who don't get that are missing something.

    • derek2017

      i agree with you man! there should be respect, trust, love and caring from both sides!

    • Badballie

      Whipped in the bedroom, wow, That would be really great.

  • MzAsh

    Interesting take. It’s definitely a full time job trying to control someone. No one should have to put that much effort into a relationship. You should be with someone who volunteers this treat you exactly the way you want to be treated.

  • JamesBoradil03

    there's no problem with strong women, the problem is with strong women taking over their husbands. i have seen this many times with my own parents, and many families that were close to me. the woman would take over the house and turn all the men into subs. this is what my mom tried after seeing it happen with all of her "close" female friends. ended up kicking my dad, brother out and almost kicking me out because we didn't turn into beta's who did whatever she asked. strong women are necessary in life, but it is the mans role to be the head of the house in a relationship. now this role shouldn't be overdone or done wrong (which many husbands/bf) do wrong. but when a woman controlls the house it goes to shit (usually) now i am not a sexist and strong women have shaped my life. but i also know many families that were ruined from the woman taking control and forcing the males into beta positions.
    thats why saying like who wear the pants in the family or males being whiped exhist. its a warning from guys to other guys.

    if you have a rebuttel to my points, refraind from them being simple "your sexist" coments.

    • You are a fool. There's no problem with strong women, but there is a problem with abuse. Who cares if the woman wears the trousers?

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    • derek2017

      there is a problem with "strong women"(let me tell you a secret they are not actually strong!) they do horrible abusive stuff that they should be in jail for!! They dont go to jail, they make everyones life shitty and then tell everyone else its their fault! Like men should really report those kind of behaviours and the justice system should act accordingly cause these hoes dont deserve any support!!

    • derek2017

      @SwordShield i care!! i dont want her to wear my trousers!! theyre mine!!

  • molonski2

    If some bloke is pussy whipped that's his problem , if he really is going to let someone stop him from going somewhere he wishes to go then he really is spineless and he knows it.
    Grow a pair , and don't ask for permission in any case.

  • RussianNestingDoll

    I’ve never done such a thing to the men in my life and I’d become absolutely livid if they tried it with me. A relationship is not healthy when one controls the other. How can someone not feel trapped and suffocated, bullied and suffer anxiety? Agreed it’s wrong on both sides👍

  • EmotionOfFear

    As someone whipped by my ex-girlfriend, and the final nail in the coffin being her sexually assaulting me when I didn't want the sexual advances, I full-heartedly agree with this entire thing. And dismissing male victims is a serious problem.

  • FannyDamager

    'Whipped' is more of an American term, no? If I feel a friend is in that situation I think making the point in a lighthearted, jokey way isn't the worst thing one can do under the circumstances. It is a way of making a point without drawing any blood.

    • Honestly, it seems to be a more generic term of most English speaking countries. We say the same thing in Australia. Another one we like to do here is say "she's got his balls in her purse".

    • You're quite right. Thank you Coca-Colonialism!

  • No_Archons

    Lol yet another girl that doesn't understand how men work. We help him by teasing him, thats how we do things, teasing is the best thing for him. And yes, if a man is whipped, it is his fault for being weak

    • No_Archons

      basic summation of what this girl has said:

      STOP TELLING MEN THEY ARE WHIPPED SO WE CAN WHIP THEM HARDER!!!

  • Dihiya

    I think it applies mostly to european and American guys because of their education (don't know about Asian and black though) for instance were i live it's nearly impossible to control a men or tell him what to do, what you can try to do is manipulate him (which works generally)

  • Billybob643

    As someone who is considered “whipped” I don’t feel like I’m in an abusive relationship at all. She’s the girl, so as the guy it is my duty to make sure she’s happy. If that means staying in with her or taking her out with me I’m more than happy to do so :)

    • nightdrot

      Just had to say "here, here" and add a touch of nuance. Your point is well made.

      To be fair, the author of the "MyTake" has a point as well. The real problem is that there has developed a tendency - against all human experience - to posit the relationship between men and women as purely adversarial. That men and women are, for all intents and purposes, opponents. It is pure nonsense and your brief, but excellent reply, makes the point.

      When we care about another human being we do things for them. We make sacrifices for them and we take pride in that.

      It is called "love," and in all the contemporary debates and discussions it gets lost. More to the point, it is a choice. We cannot help what we feel, but we can help what we do about it.

      Water seeks its own level and each man and woman will act in a way that best accords with their notions of love and morality and right conduct. The author of the MyTake is right to the extent that a woman or a man who is not taking the happiness of the other into account is not truly in love. There lay the gateway to abuse.

      @Billybob643, however, have the better of the argument. What makes us happy in a relationship is about the relationship with the other person. How other's may perceive that is a matter of stark indifference - and certainly is not their's to judge.

      Great reply!

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    • nightdrot

      @Badballie Thanks for your kind remark. The idea that men and women live in opposition to one another is an outgrowth of the "me" culture. That tendency to define the world in a sort of winner take all context. When in truth we are never better when we share and think in terms of the other person.

      My girlfriend has given me more happiness than any man has any right to expect. It is happiness that spans the spectrum from moral to intellectual to emotional to sexual. The feeling of her in my arms, the look of her smile, the feeling of physical connection and intimacy when I am inside her, the way she makes me feel like I am ten feet tall.

      There is no way I can ever repay that and when I do things for her - both asked and unasked - it just barely scratches the surface of gratitude.

  • SkipStop

    This is a great documentary:
    https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x72olk7

  • Miristheiss

    You're whipped... wah pah!!!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgzRFX7bTzw

  • sawno

    Wait what? I don't follow the logic of this take at all. We specifically use whipped by or the dutch version Onder de plak when a girlfriend is TOO controlling and he has no freedom. Its deliberately a bit condecending to his manlyness to wake him up a bit.

    So why would using this dismiss the behavior? We don't use this in the lighter cases its a wakeup call. Towards women there is no such term but we would just call it controlling.

    So thanks for raising awareness of the issue in what seems to be anti men clickbait but is actually discussing a real issue. But i fully disagree we need to drop this term as its designed exactly for the purpose of showing the men he is being abused and making him leave.

    • I kind of disagree, maybe it's my social ineptitude, but I've never seen the term that way. It always seems like either a joke or an insult to me, like seeing a stranger let his girlfriend yell at him and commenting "wow he is fucking whipped, what a bitch", for example.

  • FýrdracaDócincel

    I agree with the one who said "it's either control or be controlled."

    Even if you argue that there are healthy and unhealthy ways of going about it, that's just how it is.

  • AlphaGhost

    Lol finally someone has balls to speakup against woman behaviour... if I will kiss yea for that (of course with your permission)

  • bamesjond0069

    No. We need to tell them they are whipped. Men are supposed to be stronger than their emotions. There is no reason for a man to put up with abuse unless he is a pussy man. We want to help men we are friends with not be pussy men, get them to stand up for themselves. So ridiculing them is a great way to help nudge them in the right direction. If they bend over and let their girlfriend fuck them in the ass, they are certainly going to be humiliated in a group of guys as well. Either they should learn to love their place as low man on the totem pole or grow some balls.

    • It shouldn’t be that way. My friends and other guy friends should be more supportive of guys who listen and respect their girlfriend. Instead of ridiculing a friend for not going out with the boys like my friends do we should be saying “Have fun with your girl! She’s always welcome to come if she wants.” Like my friends don’t realize if they invited her she wouldn’t have any problem letting me go out with them.

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    • Ugh whatever. Good luck getting a date.

    • @Billybob643 don't need luck. Women like men who stand up for themselves and lead them. Not are little yes men ass kissers who let them walk all over them.

  • Pineapple_Boy

    So should the saying " Happy wife , happy life " be banned because it comes from the same place as being whipped.

    Note: that's not the meaning of whipped, well at least in the context in which guys use the term 99% of the time.

    • Hannah591

      Yeah, I guess you're right about the happy wife, happy life thing.

      Your meaning of whipped may be different to mine as slang terms often mean different things in different parts of the world. The way I have described it is correct in the context of my own surroundings and experiences of witnessing its use.

  • CoffeeWC

    The only thing the guy should be blamed for is choosing to stay in that relationship.

    • Easier said then done.

    • Hannah591

      It is frustrating when guys don't see it happening (which is why I encourage men to be more vigilant of what's happening with their friends) and you want them to leave, but leaving an abusive partner is never straight forward. Coercive control is a powerful mental manipulation that causes someone great confusion, often thinking they're in love, then questioning it and the person's motives. But when that happens, the manipulator puts on their charm and convinces them there's nothing wrong and it's a vicious circle. It is hard to explain to a person who has never experienced it.

  • VaIiant

    I was always under the impression "whipped" meant a man was obsessive over a girl. Huh.

    However, I think this whole mindset of "REEEE a significant other should be 100% independent!!" is silly. Maybe in the early stages, sure, but in a long-term, serious relationship, you and your BF/GF should be partners, a team. They should come first- what if they had a huge, romantic dinner surprise planned for your promotion at work, you weren't aware, and your group wanted to spend it with you? Your partner wouldn't be "toxic" or "abusive" for asking you to stay home.

    However, there is a fine line between changing plans for a partner and an actual abusive, controlling partner. I'm advocating for the former, NOT the latter.

    • 100% this. Couples are a team and should value each other’s opinions/wants and work together. I know my girlfriend values my opinions so it would unfair to not value hers.

    • VaIiant

      @Billybob643 exactly. It’s such an immature mindset to think a partner asking their partner to do something else is “toxic” and manipulative. It’s important to meet halfway with your partner and to enjoy doing so. Mature relationships depend on each other

  • JustWorthlessMe

    too many men have low self-esteem and desperately try to boost it by treating other men like crap... it's so pathetic

    • too many men have low self-esteem and are so desperate for a girlfriend they become whipped.

  • theHalflife

    If my buddy is pussy whipped we let him know, we dont abandon a fella easy

  • ChickMagnetPak

    Men are the heads and protectors of women. A woman is bound to listen him and a man should have the skill.

  • JackSmy

    Whipped, or just picking the important things to be more assertive about?
    I usually let her have her way about things I don't really care about, at that moment, like where we eat, or sometimes things we do together.
    Other times, like when she decides to use some of my tools to do whatever, and doesn't put them back where she found them, and I can't find them, when I need them, that is an issue that will be discussed, and not whipped, at all, then!
    Ladies, what if men aren't just submitting, and being 'whipped' but just don't care about so many things in your relationship, that he lets you choose, because he doesn't care?
    How does that change your 'implied dynamic' of the relationship?

  • Hurdleez-Swampede

    Yes because men should be the dominate ones and women the submissive ones. God loves human relationships to be this way in marriages.

    • love_ly412

      God wants everyone to be treated equally, especially in marriages. Song of Songs shows that.

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    • @SwordShield
      Your opinion.

    • My point is that men were meant to be the dominant sex, but now they are not. We are all equal now.

  • ObscuredBeyond

    I usually mean it to say that a man is so obsessed with doing what it takes to appease his woman, that he will betray friends in a heartbeat rather than admit that she stepped out of line in picking a fight with one of his friends. When he feels he has to be a white knight in order to keep her so badly, and is so insecure in his relationship with her, that he will never call her out no matter how out of line her behavior is, and will throw friends under the bus just to curry favor to her.

    That's whipped.

    • For example: on some Christmas-related thing, I made a Home Alone reference to joke about it. She took it grossly out of context, accused me of everything under the sun, and of being an advocate of violence against women (she wasn't even the "target" of anything!), blew everything way out of proportion... and I wasn't even allowed to defend myself.

      When I told the guy what was really going on... he took her side. Threw me to the wolves, because his girlfriend didn't like the fact that I dared to point out how something her and I were both looking at reminded me of a scene from Home Alone.

      That's what I call whipped. He'd rather pander to her, just to keep getting poontang, then defend a former classmate from pure crazy, hair triggered over practically nothing. I lost all respect for him after that.

    • Badballie

      It is indeed very SAD, the children go the same way, role models have been damaged forever.
      My wife of 20 years knows exactly when to stop. I don't engage in fruitless arguments, I get up and walk out if she follows me I go into the TV lounge and turn up the volume so I can't hear her. Yes the abusive women out there, just get a good take on it. It is better to be alone and pay for sex than being held as a prisoner. Go do your thing, there are many available women. Never take them home to your house, go to hers be in control. Or get a female friend with benefits. Both of you are satisfied, no one controls anyone.

  • selfesteemguy

    Girls must be under my control all the time! Cause I am a narcissistic.

    • derek2017

      why? narcissism is actually a way for someone to protect himself from the world, im not saying its bad if it is indeed about that, even to the point where you're saying im the center of the world, although it is fucked up if you think that, i mean you can think that but when you come to the point of saying that all the other people are trash, well thats when you have a real fucking problem! People are different from each other, you can't know every person on earth! Dont be full of yourself cause there will be this one time where you'll lose horribly! Never forget where you came from because if you do there will be nothing else inside, like men have morals and limits, if we lose those we will go down into a dark road so dont forget any moral choices you made for yourself cause thats what defines a person or better than that, a man!

    • Badballie

      @derek2017 well said

  • Passinggas

    If you are with a woman by definition, you are whipped. Once a woman has her hooks in you the "loaded gun" is on the table and if she is not happy and the man stands up for his basic respect that is usually less that the pet dog, she just calls the cops and says she feels threatened. A man attached to a woman in anyway places him at the lowest form of human existence and he is a pile of crap for letting himself get there. Men are whipped by women and enforced by the system and the only way they can preserve any self-respect is to avoid any woman trap and just remain unattached in any way. “we need to stop telling men that they are 'whipped' by their girlfriend” is way too late to ever turn this thing around.

  • ISarithI

    most men are whipped by their gf's but good luck trying that bollocks with me

  • Confidenceoverload

    Lmaooooooo I’m glad I don’t have a girlfriend like that. Or better yet a girlfriend at all 😌

  • hugzy

    you need not , ever , stop presenting the facts to close friends especially when alludes them...

  • Xoirwinkan

    Well if he always goes along with what his girlfriend says, the phrase might just be appropriate.

  • Secretgardenblood

    Good take

  • MoneyBeets

    Men should act like men.

  • Massageman

    Awwwwwww. No fancy dress parties?

  • esotericstory

    I agree with this mytake.

  • Aphrodite801

    Hey if you’re whipped you’re whipped 🤷‍♀️

  • Pejtu

    It DEPENDS it all depends come on people

  • monkeynutts

    We like being pussy whipped, it's feels good.

  • CT_CD

    I'm whipped by my girlfriend

    • hugzy

      I bet you enjoy it as well ;)))

    • Show All
    • hugzy

      Yes , I can reed... It is just that , I have never taken myself that seriously, neither should any of you... life is way shorter than you could imagine, don't waste it on self- importance and egocentrism... You should learn to be bothered , only about the opinion of people you actually care about and reduce the rest of the world to mear white noise. Enjoy the life the way you like it , the rest can go fuck themselves ;)

    • DDpsy

      Obviously

  • EuropeanChick

    actually
    I dissarge
    those men are whipped

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