Nope. Research doesn't bear this stereotype out. Men who cheat on long-term relationships are usually looking for emotional and personal affirmation and respect that they aren't getting from their wives.
I guess I haven't seen this research. That makes a lot of sense if they feel unappreciated by their partner, and another woman comes along and thinks he's the perfect man.
Men cheat for excitement so they can say they did with someone new. Women tend to be more emotional so when they meet somebody their getting to know the person its not about the sexual attraction from when they first meet them. If men could be insightful and tell their girlfriend how they feel maybe it could prevent her from shacking up with somebody else. Its a miscommunication barrier that could be fixed with having a conversation
And decent people don't cheat. (I'm sorry, I haven't read the article, I just wated to say that.) [We can talk about what is cheating and all of that, but…no, if you're not happy in relationship, be honest about it to your SO, sort issues or break up. Don't cheat.]
I agree, lack of decency is the commonality that extends across genders/ individuals. I kinda broached this aspect inside the article's contents, but you're right to emphasise it.
I believe some men cheat due to insecurities. Maybe they feel they aren't good enough for the one they are with, maybe due to rejection, so why not attempt to find someone whom will react to them in a manner they seek?
I also believe some women are the same but mostly I've found women to cheat due to revengeful reasons
Monogamy doesn't have to be the default, of course, I'd probably thrive in an open relationship coz, like you say, the dick wants what it wants lol. But the point is, the way you set up a relationship dictates the implicit "rules" going forward. If two lovers get together on the premise of monogamy, and one of them violates that premise by sleeping around behind their partner's back, then it's a betrayal, plain and simple. If two lovers get together on the premise of polyamory or "non exclusivity", and then one of them gets all weird and resentful about the fact their partner sleeps with other people... then that's just as much a betrayal. Because they agreed to a premise they're no longer acting out. Premises can be renegotiated of course. A mono couple can turn poly, and vice versa. But cheating strips away all negotiation, it's like a blunt force weapon for one partner to get what they want, without considering the damage it can leave in its wake.
If it's an arranged marriage maybe. We have this thing called free will, nobody's cocking a shotgun to get them walking down the isle. A relationship is a web of interrelated agreements, each one a leg on a stool. Kick out one leg, and the stool collapses.
Facetiousness aside, my point stands, and I haven't been presented with anything to definitively disprove it. Show me where this alleged "forcing" is in a relationship, and how such forcing makes cheating inevitable. My point is that relationships start and end on the strength of their implicit or explicit agreements. Any violation of any agreement is, by transit of property, a violation of the relationship. There's no force, only a series of choices and consequences. I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses, I know there are downsides to any kind of relationship setup. Mature people go in with their eyes wide open to those realities. Ignorance is the only "forcing" I can conceive of, because it's like trying to force a happily-ever-after without facing reality.
I agree to an extent, but I think both are interchangeable I think men sometimes cheat for an emotional connection he may not be getting from home and women can cheat just to experience different sex! We are equal in this regard, obviously not all guys require emotions and not all girl require new and improved sex but a lot do!
Some women cheat for money, like this Gorl: hey let's get married Gai: oh kei *They marri* Gorl: hey we gonna divors nows gai: y? Gorl: becouse me keeping money Gai: bish. Gai: *sad Gorl: hei letz git marrid Oda gai: oh kei *And so the cycle continues
I understand what you're saying but I dont think women cheat always for emotional variety. Some women, just like men, have moments of weakness and give in. Women are indeed visually stimulated just as we are.
Of course all cheaters are selfish, the question is "to what end?". Selfishness implies they seek to gain something from their actions. There's something to be learned from analysing their perception of gain, no matter how repugnant their motivations may be.
Why even get with someone you're not even in to or emotionally connected with anyway? If a guy is stepping to me knowing fully well he want's someone else, imma tell to step off and good bye.
I'm not sure it's as simple as this. A cheater can "stray" with full knowledge of what they're doing, and yet still rationalise to themselves that they "still care about" their partner. Of course, they could also cheat out of spite or malice, which is just salt in the wound..
“Will never arise”? Yeah I think not, that’s a bold claim. People cheat for a variety reasons, I don’t care, it’s never okay or excusable. Cheat on me and I’m suppose to care and fix why you did? Foh 😂. Be man/woman enough to speak your mind and or just leave, period. #KeepCheatersAccountable2020
Even though I don’t think cheating is acceptable in any situation I have to disagree. Women sometimes cheat because they don’t feel pleasure with their partner and try to seek that with other people
Guys cheat for variety for sure. They grow up shagging at everything that moves and then immediately go back to be being a good boy as if fantasizing about some one wasn't a big deal. When they grow up they get the real stuff ; but it means exactly the same to them, that 5 mins shagg and then go back to the one they love... sad but that's why men don't feel as guilty
Yeah denial can be very powerful-- it deserves its own dedicated MyTake really. Of course, men can be privy to just as much denial, although my guess is that most men who cheat are aware of why they're doing it. Maybe women get more conflicted over it because their emotions are so much less tangible than outright physical attraction. But these are assumptions I'm making, and I try to avoid assumptions, so I don't know what the full reality is.
Could you maybe write a longer NOVEL? My response to this, is BULLSHIT!! Women cheat when they don't feel LOVED!! Men cheat when they don't feel NEEDED!
I don't know, I loved my ex plenty and she still cheated. As other commenters pointed out, it's not black or white. But sure, men and women could cheat for the reasons you set out.
@SomeGuyCalledTom Sorry, dude! That sucks!! NOT SAYING YOU ARE AT FAULT, OK? But women feel "LOVE" differently, than guys expect, sometimes. Sometimes, for her, if you just confide in her, and share your fears, and anxieties, about some medical issue, and neither of you can control anything about it, she feels 'LOVED' because you trust her, and confided in her, and talked with her!! I know, for guys, it seems like just bring flowers, kiss and hold, and just cuddle after sex. Women are so much more complex, in how they 'FEEL' the 'LOVE' between you! You may have been doing everything you know, and what your father told you, anyone, as to how to 'love' her, and she still may not really feel it! Love is about what the other needs, and figuring that out, through close intimacy, talking, and trust.
That all seems logical, and for some men it's probably a message they really need to hear. Not so in my case, I knew her better than she knew herself, and loved her the way I knew she wanted to be loved. But she had some unresolved father issues that made her wanna go seeking validation from other men, and in the final weeks of the relationship, those issues progressed into cheating. Love had nothing to do with it, she just followed an insecurity all the way to its [il]logical conclusion. She wanted the emotional satisfaction of knowing other men desired her. No amount of trust and intimacy and talking would've changed that (and there was plenty of that stuff between us until she ruined it all)
When I got excused of cheating I was being raped and my rapist sent pictures and video to my boyfriend showing him them feeling my breasts and stuff and he said I looked like I was enjoying it.
I was crying and saying please dont rape me I have a boyfriend and a little one put once he put his cock in My vagina started to hurt and bleed and he started groping me asking me to moo as he squeezed my milk out.
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Nope. Research doesn't bear this stereotype out. Men who cheat on long-term relationships are usually looking for emotional and personal affirmation and respect that they aren't getting from their wives.
I guess I haven't seen this research. That makes a lot of sense if they feel unappreciated by their partner, and another woman comes along and thinks he's the perfect man.
That's how you explain Arnold Schwarzennegar [sic] cheating on Maria with that domestic... EURGH!
Arnold slept with her because bit was convenient.
@Mr_Flint, if convenience were the only consideration, he could have done a LOT better.
Men cheat for excitement so they can say they did with someone new. Women tend to be more emotional so when they meet somebody their getting to know the person its not about the sexual attraction from when they first meet them. If men could be insightful and tell their girlfriend how they feel maybe it could prevent her from shacking up with somebody else. Its a miscommunication barrier that could be fixed with having a conversation
And decent people don't cheat.
(I'm sorry, I haven't read the article, I just wated to say that.)
[We can talk about what is cheating and all of that, but…no, if you're not happy in relationship, be honest about it to your SO, sort issues or break up. Don't cheat.]
I agree, lack of decency is the commonality that extends across genders/ individuals. I kinda broached this aspect inside the article's contents, but you're right to emphasise it.
I believe some men cheat due to insecurities. Maybe they feel they aren't good enough for the one they are with, maybe due to rejection, so why not attempt to find someone whom will react to them in a manner they seek?
I also believe some women are the same but mostly I've found women to cheat due to revengeful reasons
thats true, i would cheat if i dont feel girl im with likes me enuff
... Sigh. The term "cheating" is erroneous and stupid, and no one should use it. ↗
Monogamy doesn't have to be the default, of course, I'd probably thrive in an open relationship coz, like you say, the dick wants what it wants lol. But the point is, the way you set up a relationship dictates the implicit "rules" going forward. If two lovers get together on the premise of monogamy, and one of them violates that premise by sleeping around behind their partner's back, then it's a betrayal, plain and simple. If two lovers get together on the premise of polyamory or "non exclusivity", and then one of them gets all weird and resentful about the fact their partner sleeps with other people... then that's just as much a betrayal. Because they agreed to a premise they're no longer acting out. Premises can be renegotiated of course. A mono couple can turn poly, and vice versa. But cheating strips away all negotiation, it's like a blunt force weapon for one partner to get what they want, without considering the damage it can leave in its wake.
The point is that the premise is *forced.*
If it's an arranged marriage maybe. We have this thing called free will, nobody's cocking a shotgun to get them walking down the isle. A relationship is a web of interrelated agreements, each one a leg on a stool. Kick out one leg, and the stool collapses.
Of course, when I say "forced," I don't mean forced under coercion by the threat of physical violence. Be serious, come on.
Facetiousness aside, my point stands, and I haven't been presented with anything to definitively disprove it. Show me where this alleged "forcing" is in a relationship, and how such forcing makes cheating inevitable. My point is that relationships start and end on the strength of their implicit or explicit agreements. Any violation of any agreement is, by transit of property, a violation of the relationship. There's no force, only a series of choices and consequences. I'm not wearing rose tinted glasses, I know there are downsides to any kind of relationship setup. Mature people go in with their eyes wide open to those realities. Ignorance is the only "forcing" I can conceive of, because it's like trying to force a happily-ever-after without facing reality.
Uh... I'm not going to rewrite my entire myTake in this comment thread. Reread it if you want. It's already been presented.
I read it, I just don't buy it. No matter, each to his own.
I agree to an extent, but I think both are interchangeable I think men sometimes cheat for an emotional connection he may not be getting from home and women can cheat just to experience different sex! We are equal in this regard, obviously not all guys require emotions and not all girl require new and improved sex but a lot do!
Some women cheat for money, like this
Gorl: hey let's get married
Gai: oh kei
*They marri*
Gorl: hey we gonna divors nows
gai: y?
Gorl: becouse me keeping money
Gai: bish.
Gai: *sad
Gorl: hei letz git marrid
Oda gai: oh kei
*And so the cycle continues
my Guess is the main reasons for seeking emotional closeness outside a relationship can not be satisfied through sex
Ultimately both men and women cheat for the same reason, not getting their needs met. That and selfishness.
I understand what you're saying but I dont think women cheat always for emotional variety. Some women, just like men, have moments of weakness and give in. Women are indeed visually stimulated just as we are.
Nah, all cheaters are selfish. Period. End of story. And if you want to forgive that person and be with someone who is selfish then more power to you.
Forgiveness and understanding are two very different things. Does an FBI agent "forgive" a serial killer in building a psyche profile?
Of course all cheaters are selfish, the question is "to what end?". Selfishness implies they seek to gain something from their actions. There's something to be learned from analysing their perception of gain, no matter how repugnant their motivations may be.
Why even get with someone you're not even in to or emotionally connected with anyway? If a guy is stepping to me knowing fully well he want's someone else, imma tell to step off and good bye.
I'm not sure it's as simple as this. A cheater can "stray" with full knowledge of what they're doing, and yet still rationalise to themselves that they "still care about" their partner. Of course, they could also cheat out of spite or malice, which is just salt in the wound..
They are trying to figure out a way to have their cake and eat to.
Very true
It's not based upon the gender, but the individual. Some women cheat for sexual needs too, as well as how some men cheat for emotional needs.
“Will never arise”? Yeah I think not, that’s a bold claim. People cheat for a variety reasons, I don’t care, it’s never okay or excusable. Cheat on me and I’m suppose to care and fix why you did? Foh 😂. Be man/woman enough to speak your mind and or just leave, period. #KeepCheatersAccountable2020
Even though I don’t think cheating is acceptable in any situation I have to disagree. Women sometimes cheat because they don’t feel pleasure with their partner and try to seek that with other people
True that
Guys cheat for variety for sure. They grow up shagging at everything that moves and then immediately go back to be being a good boy as if fantasizing about some one wasn't a big deal. When they grow up they get the real stuff ; but it means exactly the same to them, that 5 mins shagg and then go back to the one they love... sad but that's why men don't feel as guilty
great mytake, and i agree 100%, i knew for years women cheat for emotional variety but somehow they deny it lol.
Yeah denial can be very powerful-- it deserves its own dedicated MyTake really. Of course, men can be privy to just as much denial, although my guess is that most men who cheat are aware of why they're doing it. Maybe women get more conflicted over it because their emotions are so much less tangible than outright physical attraction. But these are assumptions I'm making, and I try to avoid assumptions, so I don't know what the full reality is.
Could you maybe write a longer NOVEL?
My response to this, is BULLSHIT!!
Women cheat when they don't feel LOVED!! Men cheat when they don't feel NEEDED!
I don't know, I loved my ex plenty and she still cheated. As other commenters pointed out, it's not black or white. But sure, men and women could cheat for the reasons you set out.
@SomeGuyCalledTom Sorry, dude! That sucks!! NOT SAYING YOU ARE AT FAULT, OK? But women feel "LOVE" differently, than guys expect, sometimes.
Sometimes, for her, if you just confide in her, and share your fears, and anxieties, about some medical issue, and neither of you can control anything about it, she feels 'LOVED' because you trust her, and confided in her, and talked with her!!
I know, for guys, it seems like just bring flowers, kiss and hold, and just cuddle after sex.
Women are so much more complex, in how they 'FEEL' the 'LOVE' between you!
You may have been doing everything you know, and what your father told you, anyone, as to how to 'love' her, and she still may not really feel it!
Love is about what the other needs, and figuring that out, through close intimacy, talking, and trust.
That all seems logical, and for some men it's probably a message they really need to hear. Not so in my case, I knew her better than she knew herself, and loved her the way I knew she wanted to be loved. But she had some unresolved father issues that made her wanna go seeking validation from other men, and in the final weeks of the relationship, those issues progressed into cheating. Love had nothing to do with it, she just followed an insecurity all the way to its [il]logical conclusion. She wanted the emotional satisfaction of knowing other men desired her. No amount of trust and intimacy and talking would've changed that (and there was plenty of that stuff between us until she ruined it all)
I am not sure but it is wrong coming from either man or a woman.
When I got excused of cheating I was being raped and my rapist sent pictures and video to my boyfriend showing him them feeling my breasts and stuff and he said I looked like I was enjoying it.
Shit, I'm sorry you were put through that. Hope somebody castrates those fuckers.
If that wasn't bad enough, they impregnated me making me feel like a slut.
That is so wrong
I was crying and saying please dont rape me I have a boyfriend and a little one put once he put his cock in My vagina started to hurt and bleed and he started groping me asking me to moo as he squeezed my milk out.
This sounds like some fetish action going on right now. I’m not sure I believe the story...
@Kaazsz I'm not asking you too
If it’s not, you sound cute. If it’s a real story I’m sorry. If it’s not a real story you can be my moo slut. If it’s a real story whoops sorry. Lolz
@Kaazsz its 100% true
Want to be my moo slut anyways? 😉
@Kaazsz can't lacatate anymore 🐄
I think it's true, and really sorry about it.
I only expect your boyfriend would act angry with him, instead of believing his lies.