What girls really want to hear (relationships, feeling loved/appreciated)

Anonymous

I noticed that many of the questions on here, both from girls and guys, are about whether what someone said meant a certain thing or something else.

I'm an 18-year-old girl who wants to share what I personally like hearing from guys and why. Most of this is based on my experiences with two guys, with whom I shared a very close friendship, with one of them a relationship. I love the other one, but we can't be together, just to give you some information on my background.

How I feel around you I
How I feel around you I

"You're mine"

From: spouse

Why: Honestly one of the best things to hear in a relationship or when pretending to be in one. I'm a little weirdo when it comes to this because I love feeling like a guy "owns" me. I don't mean that in a bad way, but I want to get married, which is why I really enjoy hearing "you're mine".

Dark times
Dark times

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

From: friend, spouse

Why: I often have meltdowns where I feel awful, my mood swings are horrible and there's not really anything anyone can do about it - but I appreciate it so much when guys ask whether there is something that they can do.

It shows that they try to care and that they don't think I'm worthless or annoying.

"You're the best thing that every happened to me"

From: spouse

Why: This statement shows deep appreciation if used sparsely.

"You're (my/a) sweetie/cutie/nickname"

From: spouse

Why: Nicknames are cute, but I love being called a sweetie. There are several synonyms for this expression in my mother tongue, which makes it even more special to me... I love hearing it.

How I feel around you II (Photo by Hermansyah on Unsplash)
How I feel around you II (Photo by Hermansyah on Unsplash)

"You're an amazing woman/man"

From: friend, spouse

Why: Nothing is better than being appreciated. That's it. Men in particular who see you thrive are absolutely great and amazing, especially when they comment on it. This statemtent is best accompanied by a reason why he/she is amazing to make it truly awesome.

Youre my secret cave where I feel safe. (Photo by Tyler Shaddix on Unsplash)
You're my secret cave where I feel safe. (Photo by Tyler Shaddix on Unsplash)

Which other statements make you feel loved and appreciated?

What girls really want to hear (relationships, feeling loved/appreciated)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • LightEnd
    I humbly disagree, it has been my experience that women say they want one thing but the truth is usually the opposite. When compliments are given that aren't deserved it causes a whole host of problems. Let's take a womans weight as an example. 😱

    Let's suppose an attractive woman starts getting lazy and puts on 30 lbs or 50 lbs. She knows without being told that her appearance is not what it could be if she put effort into it.

    She notices that her significant others sex drive drops. She knows it's because of this but now she is feeling insecure. So she asks her man how she looks in this or that clothes. Now the husband or boyfriend, who listens to this type of thing and doesn't want to be an asshole, tells you "No honey your beautiful to me". She smiles and takes the compliment. But she knows in her heart, what the truth is.

    The man is really thinking this.
    "I really care for this woman but she isn't looking her best and I do not want to hurt her feelings so I will just say "such and such" thing to her ti make her feel better.

    When this is said to a woman, she knows she is being lied to and it does nothing for the relarionship. And I believe she loses respect for the man because he is not being honest. I know very few women will admit this in public however.

    I think honesty and openness about the truth of what your feeling and thinking and being able to hear what you dont want to hear is more important that empty compliments.

    I've used both in relationships and i find that honesty is all the best policy.
    Is this still revelant?
    • LightEnd

      I would rather hear something like "I love you honey but if "insert your favorite male celebrity here" asked me out I'm gone!

      Because "I would never leave you for "so and so" and your better looking than Brad Pitt. Is obviously blowing smoke up my ass.

      If someone tells you the truth then at least you know what your dealing with.

    • LightEnd

      Also I would rather be shown that I am loved by a womans actions than told sweet nothings.

    • btbc92

      Or maybe you just think with your penis. Honesty is the best policy. That meant you never loved the woman. You just got with her because she made you hard for sex. Let's just be honest. I have seen men who dearly loved their wives and still had sex with them even if they did gain weight. BUT he was honest in a way that makes her realize that health is more important than for her to look sexually appealing to him. She should be already appealing to him in spirit. When a man do that, a woman can start taking better care of herself the best way she can. Your only making it worse. That's your fault. That's why they suffer and get worse over time and eventually leave you for somebody else. Don't do it. You don't have to lie to her, but don't be an ass. That's my advice to you.

    • Show All
  • KrakenAttackin
    First, people show love in many different ways. For man, including me, the gibberish words people use are very clumsy and don't feel sincere. For me to say something like "you are the best thing that ever happened to me", is incredibly uncomfortable.

    I show love by touch, and acts of service... I do things for the woman in my life.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      It depends on the guy and I specified that this is based on MY experience.
      It's called a MYtake after all ;)

    • You phrased this as "what girls really want to here".

      What I am saying is that quite a bit of how many men communicate love is not verbal.

    • Anonymous

      I'm sorry, due to your lack of grammar I cannot understand what you want to tell me. Please rephrase your comment.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous
    This isn't every woman, thank you.

    "You're mine"
    If some guy told me this, I'd laugh. It respectful relationships it goes without say. Just as how he *is* mine.

    "Is there anything I can do to help?"
    I'd much rather hear this from a stranger than a friend or partner. A friend or partner would more than likely help without asking.

    "You're (my/a) sweetie/cutie/nickname"
    Meh. Where I live & work nicknames are common. I have a *lot* from colleagues or just acquaintances. I'm "sweetpea" to Tim Hortons people for example.

    "You're an amazing woman/man"
    Again would rather hear this from a stranger than a friend or partner. Friend or partner likely already know it, don't need affirmation of it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      Your opinion has been stated.

      Look at my first two sentences:
      "I noticed that many of the questions on here, both from girls and guys, are about whether what someone said meant a certain thing or something else.

      I'm an 18-year-old girl who wants to share what I personally like hearing from guys and why."

      Just looking at the headings sometimes ruins a myTake.

    • Anonymous

      @myTake Owner - and you're enacting the spoiled 14 year old behavior. Everyone's entitled to their opinion, what makes *you* special?

    • Anonymous

      I'm not, I wrote something that felt close to home after not hearing any of these statements for a while. Thank you very much for diagnosing my level of maturity through reading a single myTake I wrote that has nothing to do with who I actually am.
      I don't have anything to add and kindly ask you to stop responding to avoid a childish feud, especially since you didn't post your opinion publicly.
      Thank you.

  • MelissaMarie9614
    I love every one of those you put. I love when a guy tells me "you're beautiful", "you're my everything", "I care about you ", "I'm here for you ", and "you're the sweetest". Most importantly "I love you " is the best 3 words any guy can say to me! One day it'll be "I want to spend the rest of my life with you"❤
    Is this still revelant?
    • If a man keeps saying those things after you have already slept with him the he may just be a keeper but don't sleep with a guy just because he says those things

    • Anonymous

      @eugeneflora Good point.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1027
  • Browneye57
    Well, the only problem is that, while you've spent a lot of time considering what YOU like, my guess is you've spent not one moment considering what YOU bring of VALUE to a relationship. Not. One. Thing.
    So honey, just name ONE! And no, it's not that you're KIND. LOL
    • Anonymous

      Writing this take actually only took me 15mins.
      You have no idea what I'm like, I'm a higly self-reflective, pensive person. What I contribute to a relationship definitely isn't kindness, I've never described myself as kind to someone.
      I'm intelligent, I'm driven and I'm willing to sacrifice a lot for others and for reaching my goals. Every day is different with me and there's no such thing as knowing what I'll do next. I'm never bored, hence I always find something we could do. I give great advice, I'm punctual and work in a very precise way. If I were to plan a holiday for example, I'd find the perfect mathematical ratio between spontaneity and fixed plans.
      I'm great at talking to others, there's never a moment of awkward silence with me and I'd make his parents feel like I was their daughter. And I have a lot of experience with bad habits, I can share a lot on this with children, which is a good quality to have in a relationship because while I'm not the best listener, I'm THERE for people.

      Please don't assume that I'm anyone's "honey", just take it back if you may, it's quite creepy for someone your age to tell me I'm your "honey". Thanks in advance.

    • Browneye57

      Yep, an image in your own mind. Good luck.
      Time to take it down a notch, honey. You're a typical entitled special little snowflake.

  • Mexicvn
    Ha, I've said those things to my ungrateful ex. I promise you I meant every single phrase mentioned above, to her.
    • Anonymous

      That unfortunately happens, but there actually are (statistically speaking) plenty of fish in the sea :)

    • Mexicvn

      You're right! I know my worth!

  • nightdrot
    Your list seems appropriate and I often find myself saying things like that to my girlfriend. She is - and the three little gifts she gave me are - the center of my universe and there is not a day that goes by that I don't tell her.

    However, my girlfriend told me one time that nothing I ever said to her mattered as much as the time that she was in labor with our first born. Obviously I had never been through that before and - dumb as it may sound - seeing her in that kind of pain scared to h*** out of me.

    It was the early stages of labor and we were not yet in the delivery room and it was just the two of us. Frankly, I was the classic nervous dad-to-be and at one point I saw my girlfriend experience a particularly sharp - at least I guess it was - contraction. I saw the pain in her face and I felt utterly helpless.

    So I blurted out - "I'm so sorry honey. I love you so much and I am so sorry I put you through this!" or words to that effect. She just smiled at me and mouthed back at me the words, "I love you."

    Well, 12 hours later they put my first little Munchkin in my arms as the tears rolled down my cheeks - big tough milksop that I am.

    My girlfriend later told me that nothing has ever meant so much to her - to this day - as when I was said what I said when she was in labor. How it told her how much I loved her and was with her.

    While I know that is not quite what you meant in your question, it always stuck in my brain how much that meant to my girlfriend and how she went out of her way to tell me that later.
  • eugeneflora
    Guys let's be real and serious we men will say just about anything it takes to sleep with a woman even the mushy things. So girls beware of what men say to you most likely we are just trying to sleep with you
    • Ancref

      I disagree, it's just your problems with manliness or sexuality that make you think it's okay to lie about feelings. You don't need to try to bang all random girls you don't appreciate, it just feels wrong. Sex without being attracted to your partner (s) is meh, no matter the genre etc
      Just wank if you want to unload your balls ;)
      You'll feel less guilty.

    • Anonymous

      @Ancref Très bien écrit, merci.

    • Dashee

      You're both right and wrong. Not all men are like that, but I once had a very unfortunate experience with a guy where we spent the entire night outside, chatting away about all sorts of things. He lived in a different city but he told me he would travel to mine everyday if it meant we could be together. Real mushy stuff. Of course, that stuff never happened and it was just one amazing night together in the end. One thing I didn't get though: I was the one who walked up to him because I was into him. He decided to make things complicated by saying stuff like that and actually making me fall for him, even though it could have been so much easier for the both of us lmao.

  • jenn11161986
    I love you for who you are. But of course, we also need to consider reading between the lines. They may tell you things that would make you feel secured, question is, for how long are they going to keep their word from it?
  • Koalamate
    I have never been bright always barely scraped through school but i had a girl call me smart once for something small and practical.
    I melted tbh i almost shed a tear bro she just understood me.
    she was in my class i had never spoken to her before and we never spoke again.
    I always show my feelings towards people they do wonder if i actualy like them or not but i found they like me more when there wondering.
  • kymberz
    OMG? i'm in love? but i'm a girl and i feed the deer here in my village - not sure if you needed to know that or not but can i ask why you are living in my head? and i mean it respectfully because certainly there is enough room for both of us but wha? what the hell did you just say?
    • Anonymous

      Looks like someone had too many 'shrooms...

    • kymberz

      don't i wish i could just blame it on the 'shrooms!

  • Unit1
    Good to know.
    I was told, that we men see with our eyes (love with our eyes) and women hear with their ears (love with their ears - what they hear from us) and that these both are the equivalent. I believe that.
    • Strange... As a man, I too hear with my ears.

    • Unit1

      @DonCachondo i mean we do hear too but women love hearing more than seeing.

  • Mayfair
    'I love you', you're mine' and 'I'm here for you'.
    But ofc I prefer it to be proved by actions and it should be said honestly and with feelings
  • Catnap240z
    I like the idea of someone saying I am theirs. Never really thought about it.

    But main thing I love is the nicknames. And I'm not talking about just 'babe' or 'baby'.
  • Slate69
    Your mine,
    stay with me forever,
    I want to grow old with you.
    you have the key to my heart.
    Your mine always and forever.
    You complete me.
    • Coming from a guy that's usually a line they say just to get you in bed with them

  • seansin
    If everybody treated each other equally and not property we be better off
  • a good list.
    I think girls want to just know they are loved, no matter what. like you can tell her she did something really dumb or it was a bad choice, but "I still love you". It's affirmation she remains safe inspite of her thinking. Now... this can't just be manufactured words out of a robot, but emotionally sincere. If it is said the wrong way, it will be received as "distrust" and that's 10x worse! Now she's insecure, and he gets the 3rd degree in some other way as her fears mount.

    Affirming their thinking, choices, special gifts... like smoe people are good at navigating, or at color/design/form, etc.. Just being acknowledged for their special gifts and that you value that.
    • ex regarding weight "honey, well, I'd agree, you are out of shape... you got some extra chub on ya.. we've been eating out too much [e. g. takes some blame/responsibility himself]. But ya know what, that extra love hands [inuendo of desire is good] is extra energy for other fine pursuits [that's mysterios, positive].

      So now she's not feeling negative about her reality... which has been affirmed, but she feels excited about the potential! It's all about managing the emotions...:)

  • alice2301
    I agree with you about everything you say, specially about hear from a man "You're mine". I like also when he says "you are special" or simply "you are beautiful" because it's hard for me to feel valued from a man
  • Dashee
    I really adore the little things. When someone points out something small or even just a basic compliment, it honestly goes such a long way. I once had a boyfriend who used to shower me with compliments about talents I didn't know I had because nobody ever really pointed it out. He really helped me with my self-esteem.
    Another thing would probably be, "I'm really proud of you." Or something along those lines. It might sound like something a parent would say, but hearing it from your SO is great.
  • JohnDon9
    Together forever never ever apart cause you are my heart and not just a part , made it together
  • Liam_Hayden
    Hmmm. In my experience what women really like to hear is, "Get whatever you want." or "Here's my credit card."
  • bibi3pu
    You're a good man... Often based on something rather mondane that has nothing to do with her. It just fills me with pride and makes me wanna be a better person, knowing she is looking up at me.

    Another one is: just hold me, I'm a dummy, especially when I'm tired or have a lot on my mind. My reflex is like for most men: problem - > solution.

    So it's a nice to have that process short-circuited and be reminded that just being there is enough more often than not. You are the solution, you are enough.
  • username4h
    When men puts you before everything that means all in the world..
  • Thalia95
    I want to hear from her I love you , advice , to listen and support both ways by the way.
  • Hannajenky
    Or just be honest and kind and a nice person in general
  • How about "I'm here for you"? Or a simple yet effective "I love you"?
    • That's a dangerous sentence to throw at a woman. Once she knows she has you by the balls she is often tempted to abuse you.

    • @KrakenAttackin First, well make sure to pick a better woman next time because not all of them are like that. Second, you don't have to take the abuse. You can stand up for yourself, set boundaries and voice your needs. If that does not fix it, well just leave then.

    • Agreed, although it took me awhile to learn your wisdom. Bravo to you for knowing this at an early age.

    • Show All
  • can't really say other than the you make me feel whole an loved
  • DOGMA1954
    I think you did a great job talking about this subject. Great job young lady.
  • backinblack22
    Good take. DM me if you want to hear what men really want to hear.
    • Anonymous

      I'd love to hear about your insight on this topic in a take of yours :)

    • I thought about writing one about the right and WRONG way a woman should reject a man. In my experience most women approach this from a female perspective and don’t understand male ego. In those situations guys are more angry about disrespect than losing out on a potential relationship. If women understood male ego better there would be fewer problems.

    • Spot on correct. TBH, women know when they are being shitty and cruel to a man.

    • Show All
  • roseamarie
    I liked it when they appreciate, it's make you feel awesomeness in your mind.
  • OldAssYoda
    I would like for a girl to tell me that she's ok with me having relationships with other girls.
    • Anonymous

      That's not what this take is about but okay

  • Avicenna
    "You're the best thing that ever happened to me"
    • Anonymous

      Yeah definitely should be a part of the list :)

    • Just remember, women give the absolute worst dating advice. Do you want the advice of the fisherman or the fish?

  • jimmy2
    God bless you... you are so right
  • grega239
    If only this would go both ways...
  • mark6789
    Nothing
  • Good take
  • KUWAR
    Feeling loved
  • Anonymous
    Uh, this goes both ways but everytime I tell this to my girl she ends up saying that she doesn't need me anyways, so what's the point? No hate on this myTake though.
    • Anonymous

      Well, that's the other side of it. I don't need men either, but it's nice to have a boyfriend :D

    • Anonymous

      Do you care for your boyfriend?

    • Anonymous

      Do you love your boyfriend?

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    I'd love a woman who'd tell me I was hers 😅. Just the kinda guy I am.
  • Anonymous
    Think of a relationship, as if it was an interview, guys, and girls even

    You always tell them what they WANT to hear, not what they SHOULD hear

    that's how people work. You never actually tell them the truth
    • Anonymous

      I'm sorry you feel this way

    • Anonymous

      That's how it is

  • Anonymous
    Thanks for sharing. I think it's fair to say that what men want from women is just to be respected, valued and appreciated, three things men don't get much of from women these days.
    • Anonymous

      Yes, and I disagree with that last point, there are good women out there too lol

    • Anonymous

      Of course, there are definitely some good women out there, but it has become unfashionable in recent decades to show any respect or appreciation for men, and women as a whole are quality of that.

    • Anonymous

      *guilty of that

    • Show All
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