My first pregnancy scare

[tallandsweet]

I've been with my boyfriend for some months now and quite frankly, it's been good.

Recently though, I realised that we have gotten closer to one another intimately too. We haven't had sex for religious reasons, so this may all seem irrational, but it was a large chunk of my life for the last few weeks so I felt like talking about it.

I started worrying about the risk of getting pregnant a while back and immediately talked to him about it.

[Photo by Joanna Nix-Walkup on Unsplash]

Having strict parents and being quite young, we came up with a plan for the worst case scenario. We both felt much better after that.

Luckily, we share many values and have a similar outlook on life and can picture a future together. This took the stress and pressure out of things for sure...

[Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash]

About a month ago I started feeling like I may be pregnant. I told him, he told me it was nothing, but I was really convinced I was indeed pregnant with his child.

I started thinking about it a lot and realised that things wouldn't be that bad if I had kids now. It's not what I'd choose, but if it happened, it would be fine for both of us.

[Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash]

I asked him to go and buy a pregnancy test, but we both forgot about it and the whole having-kids-yes-or-no-topic only came up this week when watching a TV show together where a couple very similar to us has a child.

We travelled to another city and when he whispered "I'd be so happy if you were actually pregnant" for the 100th time in my ear I realised that he loved me more than he was admitting.

We got a pregnancy test - the situation was new for both of us and we were both quite overwhelmed, embarrassed and stressed out. He was really tired and went to bed, I went to the bathroom and did the test.

[Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash]

When I got back, he immediately told me he wanted to see the test and was clearly excited to see the result. When he saw the negative test, he looked like a sad puppy and got really sad. I could feel his energy fading and was quite surprised by that to say the least.

I hadn't noticed, but he had taken a genuine interest in childbirth by watching birth vlogs (different methods), picking out names, arranging his business in a way that would allow for a child to join his life so to speak. There's so much to figure out when having a child - but I knew that with him it would be okay.

His reaction to me being late was what drew us so much closer - I never expected this to happen but I'm glad it did.

Do you remember taking your first pregnancy test? What was it like?

Have you ever had a pregnancy scare (yourself or your partner)?

[AutumnalElf]

I had my first "scare" at 21 - I'm on the implant, use protection etc as I do not want kids, ever

I noticed I was about 2weeks late, I then started to suffer with hyperemesis gravidarum, I couldn't keep anything down, not even water. I did a test, wasn't surprised to find out I was pregnant but I cried and cried and cried. I ended up in hospital as I became severely dehydrated and lost a lot of weight due to having no intake of food or water, I was put on a drip over night and given other stuff too, they were very supportive and helped me sort out an abortion, I had one a week later and that all went okay

I got a new implant put in to be on the safe side and u just hope it never fails or happens again.

[tallandsweet]

Oh wow, so sorry you had to go through that.

[flamiE]

Awwww this is so sweet, I can see how it made you guys become closer. Knowing the man in your life is making plans and is able to handle it in case it’s positive is so important 🥺
A similar thing happened to me, I was 17 and was freaking out. He was trying to calm me down, telling me there’s no way I could be pregnant but I was like 3 months late. It happened a bit after he told me that one day he wants to have kids with me, so I was a little suspicious lol but anyway, it was negative, I was relieved, he was like “I’ve told you” lol

[tallandsweet]

Thank you so much for your sweet response!
It's amazing to be with someone who doesn't freak out at something like that... I'm glad it happened and I don't think it's messed up to like someone more for a reaction like that :)!
He was right about there being no way I was pregnant, but sometimes the men in our lives have to take us seriously, especially because we deal with their -at times - unreasonable thoughts too, LOL.

[flamiE]

No, of course it’s not messed up. It’s completely normal 😊 for us girls at least.
And it would definitely be nice to be taken seriously sometimes. I think some take it as something low-key disrespectful as if we question their pull out game or something 😂😂😂

[LightyGreen]

It's a nice myTake. And I've had never had pregnancy scare but I wouldn't be scared about it though. I would have wanted 10 kids if I was able to take care of so many lol

[tallandsweet]

Thank you!
10 is quite a lot :D I'm not sure if I want kids or not, but this happening made me think so much about it that honestly, I wouldn't mind, and that's a relief.
Takes so much pressure off of me.

[Avicenna]

Nope, all five times she turned out to be pregnant. I was just shown the home pregnancy test result, and none were false positives.

[tallandsweet]

Oh my :o you must have some powerful genetics...

[OlderAndWiser]

If you haven't had sex, why did you think you were pregnant?

[lillianaustin]

true

[LeoElias]

i think they were having sex and decided to stop?

[razelove]

Immaculate conception, it happens all the time.

[OlderAndWiser]

@razelove Once every 2,000 years or so?

[razelove]

I mean, in a grand scale of things type deal, 2000 years is nothing, compared to a single human lifespan, gargantuan. Maybe she just had that 1/2 trillion or so self-conceiving egg drop, but it changed its mind.

[RaijuRainBird]

Oh she's just a kid! Give her a break, lols.

[Screenwriter]

I've never had a pregnancy scare because I started using birth control pills before I even had my first sexual encounter. I wanted to be prepared and I didn't want any surprises.

When I finally took a pregnancy test it was because I knew I was pregnant with my son. My spouse and I had been having unprotected sex for two months and it happened.

But we'd been married a long time.

The fact that you're saying you've been together "some" months it a bit worrisome to me. Is this some romantic notion you two are entertaining? Do you have good jobs? Are you buying a home? Been saving lots of money?

Don't let a child happen. Plan. It takes LOADS of money to even HAVE a baby. Doctor and hospital costs: thousands of dollars that are not covered by insurance completely. Then there's child care, preschool, diapers, breastpumps, formula... food... Babies are expensive.

Take off those rose colored glasses and sit down and plan this if you're considering a longterm partnership or marriage. For some child care centers you have to get on a yearlong waiting list. The same for some preschools. These places are costly, but you want you child to get good people who enjoy caring for the very young while you work. You can't do everything yourselves or dump your infant on your parents, as much as they'll want to help. Helping is not being a 24//7 on call babysitting service.

That's not their job. Don't do that to them. Planning and finances are essential items to get straight BEFORE you even dream of having a baby... You'll need life insurance. A home with a yard, to live in a good school district... GET those things beforehand. As many as you can... Be rational before you're irrational.

[Emmerbea_23]

I actually had a miscarriage at 17, my boyfriend had just broken up with me and had no idea about it. Even though I was freaking out about what my parents would say about me being pregnant, because they’re so religious, I was kind of excited. Then I had the miscarriage and I was so depressed for months. I hadn’t told anyone about it because I was worried my parents would find out if I did, so I had to deal with it all by myself. It was scary, and stressful, and I still get sad about it sometimes.

[Jjpayne]

Thank you again for sharing your journey with us and it is so precious that he is ready to be a father. That he has accepted that as a possiblity. It is so sweet. I think it's something you can almost take for granted sometimes too because not all guys want to be father's, some get nervous while others flat out say no. So to have a guy want to be a father is kind of sweet

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for sharing your story with us, very well written and I believe if you got pregnant he would make the ideal father for your baby and husband for you too, he would love you both unconditionally and that's what you want.. This was one awesome story
I wish you two the very best :) :)

[LovePrayEat]

Its great that u learn he’s being interested/excited to be a father. Why don’t u plan to settle down so that things will be clear and will not hide anything for both of your families, just saying.

[Laciandmaci]

If you NEVER had sex no need for a test as there is 0 chance of pregnancy! Heck I knew that even as a kid!

[Jamie05rhs]

"We haven't had sex..."
"... but I was really convinced I was indeed pregnant with his child."

[Jamie05rhs]

@tallandsweet Have you ever taken a sex education course?

[OddBeMe]

Wow, what a long story that could've been shortened with one trip to Planned Parenthood at the start of the relationship.

Religion gets you pregnant. Birth control pills keep you sane.

[Wewladdy]

"It was a large chunk of the last few weeks of my life"
What?

[Twalli]

My girlfriend and I did, because her period was a week late. Turns out that she was just worried about her sister.

[jekprotecc]

I thought you said you didn't have sex yet. Why get a preg test then? That's stupid, of course you weren't pregnant. What a waste of money

[GAGSucksBalls1]

months?

how?

there's been a FUCKING PANDEMIC

[Anonymous]

I have had 3 pregnancy scares and I’m pretty sure this last one was a miscarriage.

[LemiaOfTheCodes]

I hope everything is ok

[lillianaustin]

it would be cute , if y'all have kids

[ScotishLegend]

Please take care

[Calgarydirty69]

ALWAYS use a condom