Always be your true authentic self

Anonymous
Always be your true authentic self

I have a male friend who I’ve been friends with for over 2 years. We started out dating, but things did not work out because of the trauma from his last relationship. We parted as friends. Probably not the best idea...we continued to be intimate off and on (mostly on) up until last summer. It was stupid on my part, because I was lying to myself that I could handle it and not being true to myself. He kept including me in family functions, and I have become quite close with his family. He KNOWS I have feelings for him too. I feel left out a lot because he will go out and do things with his guy friends that are not inside of his apartment. He lied to me recently and he was having lunch with his guy friend come to find out it was a girl. Denied it was a date. Blew me off that day. I don’t want to lose him as a friend, but I have to be honest with myself. I feel like crap when he doesn’t make lunch plans with me, or invite me to go do stuff that don’t involve hanging out at his apartment getting drunk! We sleep in the same bed and watch shows..sometimes he is even cuddling with me like a cuddle buddy. I need to distance myself from him, and just work on myself and create space so I can meet someone who truly wants to be with me. I feel like he enjoys the ego boost and attention, but I’m his backup plan. I make most of the effort in this friendship too, he gets the girlfriend benefits (I cook for us) with no commitment. Things that should be saved for a boyfriend, not a friend. Not saying it’s bad to cook once in a while, but not all the time like I have been doing. I feel like he’s bored of me at times too, and it really doesn’t feel equal at all.

What’s your take?

Always be your true authentic self
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