Why Christian woman are not supposed to chase men

[jennifer_bloom]

I don’t remember who said this, but one of the dating experts online that I follow said, if you begin a relationship by chasing a man, you will spend your entire relationship chasing him down, so make sure you want that type of relationship before you sign up for that type of relationship. Which woman wants a relationship where she has to constantly hunt and chase after her man? The answer is none.

I knew about a woman who weighed around 110 pounds and dated a guy that liked how skinny she was, he was also with her because she had money, and according to the guy, she would exercise for 2.5 hours a day after a busy 14 hour a day investment banking job, she would cook and clean and prepare for parties with fellow elite people and would do things she hated while sleeping with him to please him so that he would remain loyal to her, and she also pulled off stunts she hated to impress him, like swim in cold waters in anrtartica, climb mountains, or go sky diving, all for a guy she wanted to be with.

He encouraged anorexic behaviour in her when she was nearing her 30s and had difficulty maintaining her slim 18 year old figure, and he forced her to get plastic surgery to prove a point to some people he wanted to annoy. So who in their right mind would be happy in that type of relationship? He also demanded unconditional obedience in her, even forcing her to help her impersonate other Chinese girls he disliked when he wanted to ruin their reputation, and he forced her to lie and say she was mentally ill, as an excuse to help her guy escape social activities after his brain injury.

Now that they are divorced, he mocks me all day saying I’m fat and lazy because I spend my free time building my career, learning, doing self therapy on myself, socializing and cooking and cleaning, instead of trying to build the perfect body so I can look like Tyra Banks. I’m not ashamed of my body or lifestyle, I choose it because I valued my goals more than I valued the desire to look like a fitness model, but it just shows how stupid and pointless it is to chase somebody who has unreasonable standards in dating.

[aqua0101]

This is so true ! I personally know women that this happened to. They chased the men and started a relationship with them. The women ended up getting hurt really bad. The women were always having to work on the relationship and the men were not affectionate whatsoever and didn't see the woman's value.

[MzAsh]

No woman should ever chase a man. Period.

[AmandaYVR]

There are many, many, reasons why guys are not asking girls out nearly as much as in the past.

Climate has changed. There's too much at risk for guys. And others are shy, bitter, frustrated with female behaviour and how they act when approached or asked.

The girls who wait will be waiting potentially forever.

[FraITA92]

@shyapples2 yeah, why is it bad to tell a woman what she has to do (washing the dishes, stay at home instead of working), but perfectly OK to say that men should: pursue women, make the first move, not be shy, be extroverted (yes, society favours extroverted men, while women are not affected), pay for women, pay for the first date (where most of the romances end, so the men has paid, while the woman has risked nothing), fix things at home...

[AmandaYVR]

@FraITA92 Well I don't think anyone should be telling anyone else what to do, or how to live, but I do agree that there seems to be a lack of... responsibility, I will call it, as far as what women are offering today. They expect, and some demand, certain things from men. But they don't adhere to any such strict rules or roles when it comes to themselves. I think most girls must be pretty decent, and just want a nice guy who treats them well. But there is a serious amount of hypocrisy, beyond that.

[FraITA92]

Yup, hypocrisy is the perfect word. Equality-when-better-for-me.

[Anonymous]

I cannot see anything in what you wrote as an example of "chasing" a man. I also don't see a viable connection to the difference that being a "Christian woman" compared to another woman of non or different faith would make either way. If you could please state some examples of what you consider to be a "Christian Woman" chasing a man... it would truly be appreciated and help clear things up.

I have always had nothing but contempt with self-described online dating coaches. Since, if they were actually any good at online dating... then why are they not out on a date, rather than all alone typing about nothing that has ever worked for them... obviously.

For convenience’s sake, let us just say that a woman who asks out a man on a date is to be considered as her chasing him. I have had a few women ask me out first, and I have always felt it to be a huge ego boost. Seriously, it is really nice to be asked out by the opposite sex, and I see why girls love it as much as they do. Yep, I love it as well.

Here is the thing that is real and that is the fact that my wife asked me out first, and we have been married for close to 30 years now, going strong and with no end in sight. The effort that she put in to both convert to my faith and get her previous marriage annulled so that we could get our marriage blessed and accepted by my faith... now that is what you could honestly say was her chasing me.

I can't understand why anyone would not see a "Christian Woman" who is willing to go through all that just to be with you as anything but a priceless treasure... one that I have never and will never do anything to risk losing.

[Pasiton5]

Self esteem why' it's important parents instill it in their kids, and why you must love yourself first after God, I'm sad to hear you endured this no one should ever have to go through this sand what kind of prison would even bring themselves to such level to treat another person this way must have been something he went through at some point in his life, thank God you had the strength to come through that and these so called experts why bother they know Littleton of what they are fishing out public why I say don't waste you time reading some book about how to live your life what you should have done by this age or, that is you life no one knows it better than you I do hope you found peace and left those times way behind you stay strong take care I admire you for your bravery

[wysiwyg2525]

No man or woman should chase someone for a relationship. This shows desperation. If your chasing someone then is like chasing a fairy tale that would never come true. Just be real, be yourself, and always stay honest. Never try to be someone you are not or let someone change who you are. If this happens leave quick. Your setting yourself up for failure, hurt and disappointment.

[Miristheiss]

I've never heard anything from scripture that a woman can't initiate a meeting or ask a guy out.

Where in scripture isn't it that if a girl likes a guy, she can't say hello and she can't ask him to coffee?

That story you gave has nothing to do with anything other than those 2 people. It didn't even have anything to do with chasing men.

[Texaskid1]

You are wrong.

This story is not about a woman chasing a man. It's about a woman who was weak and allowed herself to be manipulated instead of telling the guy to piss off.

[Subarugirl]

I don’t agree with that at all. There is nothing wrong with a woman showing interest in someone she is interested in, and there certainly isn’t anything in the Bible that says she shouldn’t, not that I would use that as a guide on how to live your life anyways.
I was the first to pursue my husband, and guess what he’s awesome! Loving and supportive and an amazing father.

[m33lad]

Females especially the attractive hot young ones are all married to TickTock‘s as a guy as I get older I lose more and more interest I’ve even wanted to meet girls are his couple years ago I will put up a lot of bullshit to meet them and try to get in bed I no longer even have that desire!

[K-I-S-S]

Not many women are worth it now, to be asked out, well not for anything serious that is.

Approach who you like, don't let something trivial like a work of fiction get in the way😗

[Anonymous]

What you women think men don't ever go through these problems? You don't think there's hundreds and thousands of men out there constantly busting their ass to keep their woman happy but instead she cheats on him by getting dicked down by some other guy in the end? Men go through the same problems women do. Fortunately for you most women have the option to wait. Most men don't.

[Snakeyes7]

So how does the situation change if the man pursues the woman? Would that not doom the relationship the same way?

[FilmGuy93]

I don't agree with your assessment at all. I think that if someone makes you happy, then you have to take a chance and express that to them.

[gag2021]

I wouldn't expect them to chase a guy, but please let the guy know if you are interested. Because chasing a woman who is not interested could be considered stalking or harassment by the woman.

[Twalli]

What does this have to do with Christian women specifically?

[Jamie05rhs]

I agree. And men shouldn't chase women, either.

[anylolone]

Because people in general don't like chasing.

[Jayplays900]

I hate the word.. "Chase"..