Should I be worried about my boyfriend staying at a female's house?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. He and I have been long distance for the last 2 months. He had to go to his hometown for work, but will be back in a month. This weekend is his class reunion. Yesterday he reconnected with 2 of his female friends from high school. They went out and he stayed at one of their houses. He said he slept on the couch. I spoke with him while he was out and he mentioned he might stay there. I told him that would make me uncomfortable. He said he would just go to his own house. I tried to call when I got home and he didn't answer and didn't answer this morning until 11:30. Then he was short with me. I asked him where he stayed and he stayed at her house. I asked him why because he knew I wasn't comfortable. He said he didn't do anything wrong. He got mad and said he was tired of talking about after 5 min. What should I do?

[icecreamlover]

you know trusting someone is very important, but being decent, responsible and respectful to your partner is also very important. I agree with you and I would feel the same way 100% and wouldn't sleep at night peacefully wondering what my boyfriend was upto or 'really' doing...

jealous? YEAH I WOULD BE. He is giving me a reason to be jealous after all.

i think it was immature of him to spend the night at an old female friends house...i mean sure you had a reunion, met up with some old buds, perfectly fine! but don't you think it is more professional and mature to have lunch with them perhaps, or meet up for a group dinner even? was it absolutely necessary for him to spend the night at her house? is he broke and can't afford a hotel or motel even? a cheap inn? and considering the fact that he himself stated he had the OPTION to go back to his own home...and even suggested it himself, but rather on top of that he chose to go along with the other choice...doesnt that say something? that he was tempted and did may be have some other motive in staying over a long lost female-'friends' house? c'mon now...it can't be that deep...

i always answer questions on this site that a guy and girl can't be JUST GOOD FRIENDS for LONG...not forever at least, because once you settle down with your mate, a serious gf, long relationship, engagement, marriage...you can't behave and be that close to your female or guy friends anymore...the angles change, yea you can be professional and casual, grab lunch, talk one on one when in times of need, but you can't have a level of intimacy you used to have when you were single there is always that possibility that even though you think you're not attracted to them now, you could potentially fall weak even if you don't expect to...its about those limits we fail to keep sometimes...things change...its about growing up and being mature and responsible...when ur committed to someone already...u need to be wise and stay faithful to them...

[audreymarie21]

let it be for now... you can't make him do what you want him to. you have to decide on your own whether or not you believe him when he says he didn't do anything. do you trust him? and if the answer is no, then you shouldn't be with someone you don't trust, you can't change him. but if the answer is yes, then there's no reason to get all worked up about it and start a big argument, if you trust him, then it doesn't matter where he slept.

[WakaJawaka]

a few thoughts, just my opinions:

-people who are in serious, committed relationships should avoid being alone with people of the opposite sex. had you spent the night at an old guy friend's house, I'd say it was an error because it looks bad and disrespectful, even if you otherwise did nothing wrong.

_is what you describe an _event_, or was it part of a pattern of behavior? I ask because, in general, events are not worth fretting over, but patterns of behavior are worth the worry. so if this was a one-time event for him, I'd be less worried than he'd done similar things on other occasions.

-did he apologize? say he was sorry? say it was a bad move, that he didn't mean to upset you, that he won't do it again, anything like that? if so, he's apologized, and it'd be rude of _you_ to hold it against him after he apologized.

hope this helps.

[authentic]

"He got mad and said he was tired of talking about after 5 min."

Who likes to hang around with someone who doesn't trust him/her and treat him/her like a lying criminal?

"What should I do?"

Trust your gut feelings (the "I just know" type), and not your day to day emotions (e.g. fear) which are easily colored by insecurities based upon past experiences (including childhood family experiences) which the present experience may have nothing to do with. To protect your happiness (which is your responsibility), don't hang around anyone you don't trust.

[That-Guy]

If he did do something with her, why would he say he stayed there? If I was in the same situation and wanted to get away with it, I'd tell you I drove home.

I'm gonna guess he didn't do anything wrong and is a bit upset you are interrogating him.