My Boyfriend allows his friend to disrespect me?

[yoyito92]

The other day i was with my boyfriend and his friend who i had trouble in the past 6 months ago, he called me a bitch and yelling im worthless infront everyone at some bar because he was " drunk" this was before me and my boyfriend started dating, we forgave and moved on ever since, but over the weeknd it was kind of the same, so my boyfriend was cooking dinner and his friend wanted to do something so he came over and broung a lady friend , we were all causally drinking but must been something I've said becuase he was plating food and i said no i just want chicken, and then he yelled at me even worse this time and said, you know what you can get the fuck out , even though it wasn't even his house and continue to say your not on my level, and yelling and my boyfriend just stood there and didn't do or say nothing, then when i was crying and embarrassed in the other room, my boyfriend the other girl and his boy went to the table to eat dinner, and left me out of it, knowing that i was hungry, im just upset why he let his homie go too far with this and why he didn't think he should stand up for me, at the end when he was ready and finished eating then he comes and talks to me just to say his friend was looking out for him , and that he will just never bring me around him, at this point it was too late i was humiliated and disrespected, even the girl that was there took him aside and said that wasn't fair that he didn't do nothing, at this point i am still upset, and his friend got his respect. After that night all my boyfriend said is that he loves me more because i dont know what to make up on all of this? Need help!

[Sara413]

"After that night all my boyfriend said is that he loves me more because i dont know what to make up on all of this?"

Can you explain what you were trying to say here? It doesn't make sense to me. Like, your BF loves you more because you didn't know how to handle the situtation? That's fucked up.

Your BF really ought to have stood up for you. At the very least, he should have gotten up from the dinner table to go comfort and reassure you. However, you also should have stood up for yourself. This friend of your BF's sounds like a total tool (unless, of course, there are details regarding why he hates you so much that you didn't share here) and you shouldn't let anyone talk to you like that. When you don't stick up for yourself you implictly give permission to others to treat you like crap.

[yoyito92]

actually meant to type, " he said he loves me more now because i handled the situation like an adult... and then i meant to put i dont know what to make of it"

[Sara413]

Oh OK that makes more sense...

[madhatters4]

it is crappy that this happened. and ideally you would want your bf to stick up for you. and your bf should do that but just consider

1) you are an adult. so don't expect people to fight your battles for you. if he calls you out about it, just say 'hey this doesn't involve you. I'm talking to [boyfriend's name] and not you.
2) he did mention that he wouldn't have the friend around you anymore

But I hink a larger issue is the fact that you hang out with a guy who has friends who think it's ok to verbally abuse women. that's as big an indictment on your bf's friends as it is on him. the simple fact is you shouldn't be a guy who's friends behave this way with out reprimand

[yoyito92]

i agree this was the most helpful! thankyou

[madhatters4]

I hope it does help your situation. on one hand you're an adult and should fight your own battles but at the same time you shouldn't have to worry about being put in that situation particularly with your bf's friends. you def don't deserve that treatment

[suhbliem]

you need to talk about it with him. if he shrugs it off as no big deal then it's time for you to consider leaving the guy. he doesn't sound like a great catch. I would have been all over my friend if he treated my girl like that. likely we wouldn't be friends anymore. you guy should know to do that without being told. he sounds... not good.

[Anpu23]

No one has the right to put you down, the first thing you need to do is not invite him over to your home again, and make sure your BF understands that you will NOT tolerate his presence. Do not go out where he is invited, do not friend him on FB and in general keep him out of your life.
Next if you BF wishes to continue his contact with this man, let your BF know that he may not bring him over, even for a moment, and that you would appreciate it if he didn't share information about you with this man. If that doesn't work, it may come down to him or you.

[bryon]

That is messed up. Is your BF afraid he will get whipped by this friend? You are correct to feel hurt and mad at both of them. I say yes your BF should have took up for you on this. Maybe I'm wired differently but I would have said something to him , friendship or not !!

[brookeh09]

Sounds like your boyfriend needs to grow a pair. If he respected and loved you, he would of stuck up for you regardless. Your boyfriend didn't even invite you back to eat dinner with them, they ate without you. If I went through that, I wouldn't be calling him my "boyfriend" anymore.

[PanaBella]

Your BF is a pussy. What kind of man lets another guy disrespect his woman? Leave the loser and find someone who respects you.

Drunk or not, there's no excuse.

[Werewolfy]

Why exactly are you still with that spineless excuse of a man?

[Anonymous]

He needs to grow some balls.