I like to make my girlfriend cry now, why?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend has recently told me that there were a few relationships that she had been hiding from me up until now that she had in the past. She was my first everything and she told me that she had only had one not serious hookup once before. I was considering breaking up with her and the way that she cried made me feel better, and now I enjoy doing it and have actually gotten quite good at it. What does this mean for us?

By the way, to satisfy any morbid curiosity, the best method is not to insult her or be mean to her (I would never), but to lead her to the conclusions that it is all her own doing, that she has broken your heart, that you are thinking of replacing her and that essentially, the blame is on herself.

Updates

+1 y

Well now she has something else to tell me, and according to her, "It's much worse than what I've already told you". At this point I'm seriously considering just telling her that she and I will only be casual from then on. I know it will hurt her to know that I'm with other people, but I want her to know how much she's screwed up.
I can only speak for myself when I say that I've certainly learned a lesson here.

[Anonymous]

Some women deserve to cry. They can cry their fucking eyes out.

But I don't think your girlfriend is one of those girls. People date other people. It's extremely unrealistic and unreasonable to expect someone to have only dated you.

And you're a sadist. Do her a favor. Breakup. And don't date other women.

[Asker]

I only believe it to be realistic that she tells me the truth about her past relationships. I don't want to breakup, and I'd say that things are getting better.

[Unit1]

Why? Because you are a sadist. That's why.

What it does mean for you both? It means, that I am more than happy to not be your future child.

[Anonymous]

She was scared to tell you about her previous relationships she should have told you maybe, but what happens in the past should stay there, your further putting a rift in the relationship more than there already is just break up with her. For her sake, she's already beating herself up why be even more of a Ass.

[Asker]

I don't want to break up with her because I really love her.
I explicitly asked about the past and she lied to my face, and I asked again about each of the guys I suspected and she lied to me again. She only told me because she thought I would find out through other people. There's no way to excuse that kind of betrayal, and now I have to go and get tested for sexually transmitted diseases because she couldn't tell me the truth.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok well if you really love her and don't want to break up with her then you need to let it go, it's only going to make it worse

[Asker]

but things won't be the same, and I have pretty strong mixed feelings

[Opinion Owner]

Of course it won't but either you forgive her and move on. Or you break up, she understands she hurt you trust me, would you feel differently if she would have told you upfront when you asked or would you have dated her?

[Opinion Owner]

It's kind of like throwing a glass plate on the ground, it shatters right? No matter how much you try it'll never go back to what it once was, either you try to mend it together or you get a new plate.

[crystalt70]

It means you are a manipulative, controlling asshole and she needs to dump your ass. Don't underestimate women, because once she realizes what you are doing, you'll be sorry. There's a saying of "there's no greater wrath than that of a woman scorned". By the way, karma's a bitch.

[Asker]

I have not tried to control her in any way, she herself has said that she would want to make it up to me and is prepared to have me do the same thing with other women, but that's not the point.
Have you thought that maybe this is her "karma" for betraying my trust in her?

[crystalt70]

"I like to make my girlfriend cry now"

How is that not being manipulative and controlling? You wanna know the second clue? The whole last paragraph instructing how to make your girlfriend think it's all her fault.

Is she wrong for lying? Sure. That doesn't excuse your behavior. She fessed up. It's over with. Move on or dump her. Don't continuously make her suffer and treat her like shit because you like being sadistic.

[Asker]

I don't force her to do anything.
Admitting to guilt does not absolve her of it, she's just getting the consequence she deserves. I still love her and after this things will be different, especially the way she's trying to make it up to me

[crystalt70]

It's not up to you to decide what her consequences will be. You aren't her parent. You can't punish her for lying. You're one of those men who don't deserve a good woman because you are not a good man. A good man forgives, lets her know that it will not be tolerated again, moves on and breaks up with a woman if she breaks trust again. He doesn't use her lie to his advantage and manipulates her. Nor does he do it in such a way to make her think her crying is all her fault. He doesn't hold it over her head. That's not a healthy relationship. Like I said, you either let it go or break up with her. Be a man and not a little boy.

[Anonymous]

If you knew she had did things before you then why does it matter with how many exactly, it makes no sense to me. It's understandable to be hurt but if you're going to continue on playing games with each others feelings then I don't think you need to be together.

[Asker]

It matters for several reasons, firstly, that she lied to me. Secondly, she's put me at a risk of getting sexual diseases. Thirdly, a person's past is pretty much what defines them.

[Opinion Owner]

"It matters for several reasons, firstly, that she lied to me."

It's understandable to be hurt but if you're going to continue on playing games with each others feelings then I don't think you need to be together.

You were at risk anyway having sex with someone who has had sex, get her tested before you have sex, use condoms etc. if you're not doing any of that in the first place then don't have sex lol.

People change all the time, people change throughout their entire lives, it's ridiculous to think someones past defines them, she had sex, she didn't kill someone, it's not the end of the world.

At this point you're playing games and being immature over technicalities she's expressed that she is obviously sorry and if that's not good enough for you then both of you need to move on.

[Asker]

She hadn't had sex before, but had done other things (handjob, rubbing and kissing etc). We used condoms and both got tested anyway for chlamydia and gonorrhoea before having sex without condoms.

People are different after every experience, especially after a "heartbreak", or being in love with someone else.

It's not a technicality to want honesty in a relationship.

[Opinion Owner]

If you used protection and got tested then why did you say it opens you up to sexual diseases? do you mean she opened you up to the possibility of more sexual diseases then she admitted originally?

People are different/change when they love someone, so if they didn't love someone before you, why aren't they capable of change with you? People grow, learn things from relationships, change/feel differently all the time because someone influenced their life, I don't think it's fair to say someones past defines them unless it's something really big and to me a couple of handjobs, rubbing, kissing isn't the best way to analyze your girlfriend.

I think you're right, people should be honest in relationships about what they've did but I think people get to stuck on numbers too often which is what I meant by technicality.

[Opinion Owner]

I also just want to tell you as a woman, being made cry by a guy is an awful experience and at some point she's going to realize what you're doing or she's going to simply get tired of the guilt that comes from being with you and she's not going to feel the same way about you anymore. So either enjoy it while it lasts or stop doing it. Lying is a bad thing but so is hurting someone else intentionally and enjoying it, you're not helping the situation at all.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe what I'm reading. Dude, what the fuck!!!
People make mistakes. There is definitely something very wrong here.
You're poor girlfriend is going to be so fucked up when you're done with her.

[AmberDawnxo]

Ugh its hard for me to be nice when you see this kind of question.

[YanoaYanza]

Oh so you're doing it on purpose now? even if she didn't do anything?

[Asker]

I'm not making her cry about nothing, we're still talking about the lying. I might say things like how stupid I was to fall for her tricks. She's also said that I thought that I didn't judge girls as sluts, to which I replied "I guess I was wrong then".

[YanoaYanza]

I guess she needs some effort to win your trust back... but you don't always have to bring it up if you get the chance
Just saying

[Asker]

I do trust her not to cheat on me, and once I'm over it probably won't bring it up

[Anonymous]

I doubt you've got a girlfriend, you sound like a dickhead! lol

[Tthorpe16]

That is is wrong of you!

[Asker]

Why? It was wrong of her to do this to me, now she can contemplate what she's done

[Tthorpe16]

But you to continue to make her cry?

[Klaatu51]

dude!!! that's wrong!!! y do u...

[Anonymous]

that's so messed up...

[Asker]

I didn't hurt her first, she hurt me