I caught my new boyfriend talking to other girls, meeting new girls and intense contact with his ex. what do I do?

[lalalaurenness]

I am in quite a predicament here. I am in a new relationship and the boy is very sweet, caring and seemingly invested in this. However, I had to shut an alarm off on his phone and of course saw a pop up message from another girl regarding feelings and wanting a relationship. I knew I shouldn't have opened it but I was already becoming suspicious, a gut feeling. I wish I didn't snoop further, I should have respected his privacy. I noticed intense, high emotion texts to his ex girlfriend, new girls on tinder, pictures of him half naked, telling other girls how "stunning" they are, etc. I was extremely hurt, feeling lead on. I confronted him, and he states it was nothing. my take is that he could have shut this down with his ex instead of continuing to discuss getting back together. also, new girls on tinder? he never struck me as a person who would engage in these types of behaviors. I'm very angry, and he is desperately asking me to come back. I do feel is was right to leave, but I care about him so much and thought this was going to be "the one". am I wrong for leaving? my trust is now diminished. I feel now as though everything he said to me was just as "it was nothing" as the other girls. fake... I don't know. advice please?

[Anonymous]

Girl you are very strong. You know for a fact that your trust in him has diminished and that could effect your relationship if, and only if, you decide to take him back. Relationships are built on a foundation of trust, comminication, and the will to better yourself ( and a bunch of other things) but if you know for a fact that you can't get over this broken trust thing then a relationship with him won't work. You can't build a house on a weak foundation. But if you can forgive him and get past this together and he stops playing those little boy games then try and give it another go. Just know you deserve better, you want a man's love not a little boy.

[lumos]

You did the right thing. Ignorance might be bliss but if you were unaware of these texts, he might have ended up using it to his advantage and finally cheated. In my opinion this is already pretty much cheating, though. Emotional cheating. Like you're with someone but you're still talking to all these other people in sexual undertones etc. Really, really wrong.
Be happy that you found out and that you got the chance to exit the relationship before you had even stronger feelings for him. A relationship is built on trust and communication. He ruined both. There's no going back now. Find someone who's actually worth your trust.

[aneve]

If you ever saw the movie "the other women" than congratulations your famous. No seriously he is how old idk? But that behavior is not to go unnoticed. That behavior is nasty you either forget him or sit down with him and talk about his sexual addiction and maybe he's obsessed with sex. Have more sex than.

[familyguy1]

Trust is the foundation of every good relationship and it doesn't sound like his word is good enough. If he can prove it to you that he's not interested in other women by shutting down the tinder account, not talking to his ex and giving you complete transparency and proving to you that he has nothing to hide, then you can consider it again. But I seriously doubt that will ever happen. Dump him, let go of the person you wanted to believe he was, and remember that there are actually other people out there who aren't like that.

[broadsword]

Dump his ass once a cheater always a cheater. You will never completely trust him ever again. There will always be doubt. Better to move on and find someone who deserves your total attention.

[MargaritaPeach]

I'd say he is likely one of those guys who feels that he is entitled to have you, and 100% of your devotion, and also have a handful of options waiting on the sidelines. And I'd say you're smart for moving on, because you deserve better.

[slatyb]

How serious is this relationship? Doesn't sound like it's as serious for him as it is for you. My advice is to stop expecting an exclusive relationship with guys you hardly know.

[Araya]

I would confront him and ask him to be honest. As it seems, he comes off as a sleazy guy so I would say that you should protect your self-interests and dip out.

I'm sorry. :(

[DodgersGM]

Whether or not you should've snooped is a separate issue.

You caught him cheating/trying to cheat (they're the same thing in my book). I'd have left him too, and I wouldn't go back.

[UtopianLobotomy]

You should leave him for an actual nice guy... its a no brainer... sorry though it will just hurt you probably not him.

[frozenhorizon]

If you can't respect your partner's privacy at 26 you should probably see a therapist and stop dating for a while. That being said, he also sounds pretty lame.

[kandyK]

Drop that chicken dinner and get you a juicy steak loaded baked potato with crab legs and garli butter on the side, yum!!! Lol.

[kingsleyzhou]

trust is important in relationship. both of you need to work on it. you need time to clear your mind, and he needs taking actions to earn you.

[gapminder]

Ok ok ok, stop he's a player fucking around.
As soon as you saw the text and ESPECIALLY TINDER! To think or convince yourself of any other possibility is a total disconnection with reality. Break up with him now!

[pooper89]

If you take him back, it's gonna keep going on and it'll get worse.

[Iron_Man]

If he's like this now it only gets worse. You need to shut him down Today for good and end this once and for all.

[dudeinohio]

You were right to leave. Stay away. He's not worth it. He's just a heartbreaker.

[Nerdvana]

Time to break up. Personality aside. He wants to play. You will lose and get hurt.

[Melpomene]

Make him your ex-boyfriend.

[Julie-lydia9]

You did what you thought was right.