Boyfriend of almost a year is moving away...has anyone else been through this?

Question

At the end of this school year, my boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with, is moving back to Cali with his family. We talked until 3:00 in the morning last night, and I was pretty much balling my eyes out the whole time. He said he doesn't think a long-distance relationship would work. So I asked him "We'd be breaking up then, basically?" and he replied "I'm sorry, I don't what else to do." :( He said it's not like he's going to disappear. He said we'd still talk and laugh and be friends and all that, but I don't think he realizes how hard that will be for me. But we were friends before we were together, so we can be friends after, right? And we're not breaking up on bad terms...he's just moving away.

So my question is what's the best way to deal with this? He told me when he leaves, I should learn to let go of him. But I won't. I'll move on, perhaps. But I can never let go.

Has anyone been in this situation before? Did you stay friends? Or was it too painful? Did you move on, eventually? Do they still have a piece of your heart, or did you completely cut them out of your life? How did you take it when they started seeing someone else?

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

Please, any help would be greatly appreciated. :(

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

You will need to grieve this loss and move on. My ex, a year and a half ago, came back from his summer of traveling (he's a teacher) and told me he wanted to move to another state and he brokeup with me. We were living together. We had been together for 3 years. He would tell me I was the love of his life. It was horrible. I cried my eyes out and thought he would stay until he was ready to move out of state but he had already lined up a friend to room with.

So fast forward a year and a half later. We tried to stay in touch as friends but it just caused one problem after another so I finally let it go. Well, he did e-mail me recently and guess what? He's not moving away. In fact, he's buying a house in the area. And, no, he does not want to get back together (neither do I). The real reasons for our break-up were not a simple matter of him wanting to move away. People can and do make it through things like that if they are really connected to each other.

This guy has only so much of a connection to you. It is horrible and painful now, but a guy who was thoroughly connected to you, could not do what he did. He would have found another way to make things work. I wish you the best of luck getting through this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I was in the same spot as you

we had a year &+4 months(:

I was sadd wen he told me he was leaving

we broke up because long distance relationships

Dont really work

we kept it as friends and that's it

til this day he still holds a piece of my heart:/

I remember when I had to give him the last hug

I never said goodbye

because somewhere in my heart I know

il meet up with him again

as friends tho

&+when I found out he had a gf

I was p*ssed but I guess I have to let go of it

I will be meeting her soon ..

Dont be dumb

and get all depressed

like I did

sure ,cry your eyes out a couple of nights

but go out &+ spend time with friends

meet new people

&+ most important talk to someone about how you are feeling

thats what has worked for me .

If you need any other advice I would be happy to help (:

ballykissang · Accepted Answer

I have been, we tried the long distance idea, and believe it it is really hard, you just get so frustrated that you have to do everything by skype, or text, emails and calls. and that's it. its very hard to adapt to, and it just didn't work.

We decided that we'd still be mates and that was about 6 motnhs ago and we always send emails etc and keep in contact. We also talked about maybe being together later. When we were older, and had more life experienc then if the 'spark' was still there we sould re-try the relationship thing in a few years (after University etc), so if we are both at the same place in a 3 - years then hey, who knows what will happen!

I love that quote you have at the end! So true!

hockeyman · Accepted Answer

Im in the same boat right now, I'm moving to montana in a few months and my girlfriend was crying non-stop when I told her, don't just think its hard on you put yourself in his shoes I know it sounds stupid but it is extremely depressing for me to know I'm leaving

and most long distance relationships don't work, he is right when he says you need to move on, don't let go of him and keep in contact, someday he will most likely come back to visit someday if possible, if he does show him how much you love him by just spending time with him

and don't worry about when he moves away enjoy the time you have left with him until he leaves

sumina7 · Accepted Answer

He is being practical. Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain.

You end of spending a lot of time and energy in it, talking on the phone, looking forward to meeting up during the holidays and it takes a toll.

It will better to become good friends. That way you and he are free to see other people and still maintain a possibility of getting back togerther. At this age, it will be better for you to see more people and develop close relationships.

blahblah1313 · Answer

my friend has been in many long distance relationships and they don't work at all.. if anything they grew further apart as time went by and eventually broke up and stopped being friends alltogther.. it will be hard on you at first but like everything else time will make things better.. if ur finishing college or something maybe you can make plans to move to his city later on if there's still a connection but for now all you can really do is let time play its part

gitrdone0523 · Answer

They alway say distance makes the heart grow stronger. FInish school first that should be first in your mind then after graduation see if there is still spark between the two of you if their is move on it if not its better to have him as a friend than an enemy everything will work out just give it time

unn0129 · Answer

Why don't you try and find a job over there and move?

ameena12 · Answer

he's just not that into you anymore.

sonson · Answer

move with him

Boyfriend of almost a year is moving away...has anyone else been through this?

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